Hyper-vigilance my new friend.

[Cigoloren]

So after a week of googling, I finally figured out whats the deal with my self. It's hyper-vigilance, my friend that comes and goes.

I thought it was my ability to "see through" people (and it is), and did a lot of research until someone brought up this term in quora and here I am.

I am starting to get the crash from it right now as we speak. The two weeks of bad sleeping do to hyper vigilance is exhausting, but refreshing/fun at the same time.

Last time I was extremely hypervigilant was about 5 years ago, almost had a nervous break down and a few weeks later it was gone.

I don't even notice/sense when its gone. I get a lot more done when I am hypervigilant. I kept on thinking it was being in "the zone" but its just being hyper vigilant.

Its helped me with my confidence, on top of that I can read subconscious signs girls give me when I talk to them. Makes it very easy to pull a one night stand.

I also notice other people notice me more when I'm in "the zone/hypervig." I start seeing people subconsciously start trying to get my attention. Anything from a cough, a nervous gesture a start they give me. I also notice everyone starts treating me nicely and hooking me up per say.

My question is, how do I turn this off and on? Anyone have tips? I love the intense sex I get out of it and so do my partners, but this shit is exhausting.

I wonder if my 120-130 IQ has anything to do with it. I am a f*cking pro now at reading micro expressions people do with their face, helps me out a lot. Makes me feel invisible because I can pretty much get out of any bad situation.

It's almost like a super power, and it can be if I can figure out how to turn it on and off.

 

[EveHarrington]

Do you have ptsd?

I’ve never heard of anyone with hyper vigilance being able to turn it off and on. That’s just not how it works.

What you describe sounds more like hypomania to me.

 

[Swift]

@EveHarrington , seconded.
I call HV my B-grade superpower. My friends sometimes call me Daredevil after the superhero because my hearing is ridiculously jacked.
For me, I'm more energetic when I'm HV because my nervous system is in arousal overdrive. And HV is f*cking exhausting.
I dislike the extreme HV days - my sense of taste and smell goes way up.
I dunno how much it's got to do with your IQ, mate. I wouldn't think that performing well on an IQ test and perception abilities were related. I also don't think it's helpful to bring IQ into the discussion, so I'll stop right there. Also, people with PTSD are damn good at micro-expressions because it's a survival technique. It's not something I docould consciously, but I can read people quite well.
If you are hypomanic, it stands to reason that you'd be more charismatic and promiscuous. I don't get hypomania, so I don't know, but when I'm super HV I hate it and experience it as a negative, uncomfortable place to be, like I wish the world would shut up for two damn seconds.
I certainly can't turn it off or on. I can only attempt to make it behave by self-soothing and quiet. I don't know why I would want to turn it on, considering my base HV level is already pretty high.
I agree with @EveHarrington that this doesn't sound like how I experience PTSD HV, or how others I know do.
Best of luck, and sorry if that wasn't what you wanted to hear.

 

[Cigoloren]

Thanks for the responses, maybe it is PTSD/Hypomania?

Part of the reason why I came on here was to self diagnose. I don't want to see a doctor and get prescribed some pills when I can figure this shit out my self.

I'm pretty sure this all stems from me being rapped when I was a child by my cousin, and probably has a lot to do with why I'm over weight.

Before I would just kind of deal with my anxiety (I thought they were just emotions) but now I know its anxiety and now trying to figure out how to control it, just like I control my being "in the zone" what ever that maybe.

I was exhausted and was trying to sleep. Then all of a sudden I felt like an earth quake and woke up. Never have I had anxiety this bad. I feel like now that I know whats going on with my self, my anxiety is f*cking worse.

Thanks again guys.

 

[Cigoloren]

I was exhausted trying to sleep right now*** right after I started this thread.

It's for sure hypomania. I was mistaken.

 

[Swift]

Mate, I'm not going to tell you to take pills you don't want to take.
The reason doctors and diagnoses actually work is because they can give you information that the general public just doesn't have or think about. They can rule out anything organic, like a thyroid condition or a brain tumour, with testing. They're allies in understanding, not people who dictate what's wrong. You seem like a clever person. Ask them all the questions and get the best understanding of your own health you can.
I'm an absolutely terrible patient in a lot of ways, but I'm also fun for doctors because my case is complex and I want pros and cons of everything. If they tell you to do stuff you don't want to do, there's probably a reason for it.
Find one you trust, it's a process, and get the right diagnosis for your symptoms.

 

[Cigoloren]

What kind of doctor do you recommend?

I will see one before I quit my current job, I see what you mean and understand it can help me.

Lack of sleep is what triggers it for me. I just got back from a week of non stop partying in Miami and that’s what triggered it. Partying/not sleeping is what triggered it 5 years ago as well.

I’m just full of great ideas (that’s i write down) and im finishing things I have been procrastinating on.

I need to figure out how to be in the zone maybe a few time a month lol

Thanks again

 

[Cigoloren]

Also.

Idk if this is in my head or not (could be delusional), but my calculus 2 teacher (very smart single* lady) noticed I was in the zone.

She did some ducking magic trick where she was teaching the lecture (I was ducking off on my cell texting a potential f*ck) she said something like let me turn this off CLAP and we were both staring at each Other except I was in shock (no longer texting) and she was staring at me back with a smirk/smile.

It was something so ducking minor, but it grabbed my attention for the rest of the class.

Am i delusional? Or did my teacher play me?

 

[Fiadh]

Non stop partying and not sleeping can cause anyone to present with elated mood. I’m slightly ‘manic’ just after doing some night shifts and not sleeping properly. It can cause distorted thinking and irrational beliefs. Your brain needs to rest. So i’d go get yourself a couple of good nights sleep, catch up from your trip and see where your head is at from there. No-one is giving you subconscious signs, you are not able to suddenly read people that well like a ‘super power’, you may be hypo-manic- only a dr could tell you that. However you may just need to get a good nights sleep.

 

[Gs172003]

@EveHarrington , seconded.
I call HV my B-grade superpower. My friends sometimes call...

Agreed times ten. I'm not as bad as I used to be and I used to think my super hearing/smell/ sight ect was related to migraines but have since learned nope. They aren't. It's freaking annoying.

Also.

Idk if this is in my head or not (could be delusional), but my calculus 2 teacher (very smart...

Your attitude towards other people (potential f*ck) really. Really. Sucks.

 

[Swift]

I'd recommend a good GP.
Seriously, shop around, find one you like and trust the judgement of.
GPs are the gatekeepers of the health system - most other docs you can't see without a referral from a GP anyway.
My GP is absolutely fantastic.If I can't get in to whoever else, I can always go see her and put my health worries in the SEP field. (Someone Else's Problem).
Apologies if you know this already, but the first 5 years of uni, all doctors do the same course, and then 2 years in a hospital as a registrar. Specialist training takes longer and is effectively a post-grad. There's a lot of misconception that GPs aren't as smart or as valuable as specialists, but that's all BS. Intelligence matters to me in a doctor, but they all need to pass the same tests to become one. Professional development is also required where I am, so I generally.ask what kind of medicine they're into.
Figure out what you value in a doctor and ask them! It's totally cool. Personally I need someone queer-friendly who'll treat me as an equal and welcome questions. Mental health experience is a welcome bonus. I literally ask doctors if they can do these things. It took me three or four before I found the right one.

 

[Cigoloren]

I slept well after a carb over load food coma. It went away to an extent when I woke up, but now that I think about it more it's starting to come back just not as extreme as it was the last few weeks.

Im losing weight, sleeping less, getting shit done. I'm just telling family that I'm taking some weight loss pills so they can leave me alone. They are prolly thinking that I am sparking meth with some homeless chick behind the walmart dumpsters. I gave them the pills idea so they would leave me alone.

My confidence is still there strong, but nothing like when I was "in the zone" at a full 100%. I'm a lot less now and starting to think it wasn't my teacher f*cking with me and it was just my whatever the f*ck it may be.

As far as other people, I respect everyone and wouldn't harm a thing. I owe all of this to my mother that gave me so much f*cking love during childhood. My mom is a big part of why I'm such a good person (sometimes conceded asshole that means well), she was uber religious and still is to this day. She prays a few times a day, which works for her and keeps her happy. I realized in my teens that religion wasn't for me. Don't get me wrong there is a higher power (source energy/mother earth/etc etc) but organized superstition just doesnt sit well with me.

Thanks swift for the responses, your responses alone were worth coming on here and starting a thread.

On a side note, I relate to that chick on homeland when she stops taking her pills lol