My only suggestion is to put the thread topic in the title. Something like “discussion about men’s issues, not for men only”.
Looks like the mods took care of this. Thanks, mods.
I have seen so few resources for men, and loads of them for women.
It is very dependent on the geographical area you live in, and it depends on the particular trauma. If you're a combat vet, you've probably got a lot of options (though they may be difficult to access); if you're a childhood sexual abuse survivor, you probably have options if you live in a city and also have several online resources; if you're a domestic abuse survivor, you probably don't have any IRL options and any online resources are very difficult to find.
I logically know that there's nothing wrong with most men. It's just, I feel very uncomfortable around them, unless I've known them for -years-. It's f*cked up, because I know it's just my trauma making me view men as a potential danger source, because of past experiences with a few bad apples.
I'm not going to lie - personally, being painted with such a broad brush really, really bothered me for a long time. It still does when authority figures assume I'm somehow an automatic abuser because of my gender. Once I started doing my work, though, I suddenly understood that this is a non-optional response for a lot of women with trauma and knowing that makes it better for me. I have the same response to women I don't know.
From a male perspective, what needs to be done to amend this? From my (female) perspective I would think more news etc highlighting stories where men have been on the receiving-end of abuse, would be helpful, but I am curious as to the opinion of men that are living this.
We need to talk. Men who have trauma that is not combat-related need to publicly disclose themselves and discuss their trauma. Right now society (the USA, at least) is somewhat understanding of combat-related trauma and CSA-related trauma due to ongoing wars and high-profile child rape cases e.g. the Catholic Church & Jerry Sandusky (although there are many myths and fallacies about those groups that most people still hold, so vets and CSA survivors also need to keep talking and disclosing). More men need to get into the professional recovery field. There needs to be continual pressure on politicians to pass laws that protect men and fund resources for us.
The reason gay marriage became socially acceptable in the U.S. a single generation after gays could come out without being killed is because gays and lesbians came out in huge numbers with a lot of fanfare, and most people realized they actually knew someone who is gay. This needs to happen with men who have trauma.
Finally, the reason there are resources for women and not for men is because women themselves, individually and in groups, made the protection of women possible through political action and starting grassroots organizations (such as shelters). This may not be politically possible for men, as women have cornered the market on gendered resources and are politically powerful enough to shut down male-centered organizations if they feel their own funding will be affected. I don't have a solution to this. Perhaps it would be to attempt to piggyback on women's resources - after all, the Violence Against Women Act here in the USA now requires providing resources for men in certain cases for three reasons: conservative backlash; the fact that some women saw that men were getting a raw deal; and a small number of politically connected men spoke up. It wasn't without a lot of controversy, but it has worked out.
