Sleep - both mesmerizing & terrifying

[Ryanna]

Does anybody else find sleep both mesmerising and terrifying? I find sleep a great escape on good days and then on bad days, it’s reliving everything that’s happened, I have these horrific flashback nightmares that I either can’t wake myself from, or I constantly wake up and get really broken sleep. This is because my abuse would always occur in the early hours of the morning, meaning that my body and mind are always naturally alert at this time. Sleep is something I have always struggled with, and I find that having a good nights sleep is the best way for me to be okay in the day and have more control over my thoughts and anxiety but I always get really little and irregular sleep, I am trying to set a pattern and structure to my days but I can’t even sort my sleeping out. Does anyone have any suggestions to helping with this?

 

[PiggyBack]

I find writing to be cathartic. My dreams are like a sketch that has been drawn hundreds of times over itself. Sometimes, the trace is exact, but other times, they following a slightly different track. It's hard to keep straight which one is accurate. But, when I write down my dreams, and my original memory, it seems to snap back into focus and the dreams are less disturbing.

Writing is also a way to wake myself completely up from a stream state. I find waking myself completely is the best way to break free of the PTSD dream.

Of course, you need to come up with your own coping strategy and fine tune it to your needs.

PS - your abuse.... feel free to discuss. I had a turbulent childhood and an emotionally abusive spouse. Many of us have been there although we're all unique snowflakes in our own way.

 

[Ryanna]

I find writing to be cathartic. My dreams are like a sketch that has been drawn hundreds of times...

Thank you I hope you manage to get through it :)