Sexual Assault Does it replay over and over with physical sensations and all?

[Changing4Best]

I am wondering if you feel it physically when you have flashbacks and triggers? I seem to.

I will all of a sudden feel the sensations, even though I was not thinking of sex or wanting it or anything of the sort. I might be reading something about plants and gardening and all of a sudden I feel in my body what happened years and years ago!

I just want to know that I am not alone, that this happens to someone else too! Does it?

 

[Hopeforlife]

For me yes sometimes. During my childhood I froze a lot so sometimes the flashbacks are a little patchy. But I do feel physical pain and I also feel the ‘frozen’ tense feeling like my muscles constrict and I don’t remember to breath just exactly how I responded during the trauma. If I have an intense day of flashbacks my body physically aches. Anxiety is at its peak. It’s tough, real tough.

 

[Friday]

Not my sexual assaults, but I have flashbacks of other trauma. How many senses are involved varies.

I’m mostly prone to the movie-style waking-nightmare style flashbacks where everything is present. But I also get single sense flashbacks. Most commonly smells or pain, sometimes sights/sound/touch/emotions.

 

[Mee]

Two parts of my sexual asset yes.

The other things I ’feel’ are the ’sweet’ bits. I remain confused really over what was truth and what was lie. I think mmy mind and body them over and feel them to try and look for ’tells’ of lies/ deception. I think this happens because my mind thinks if it can ’spot ’ them I won’t be fooled by them again. The bad stuff I can process more easily , it's the good stuff that confuses me more really .

 

[Gs172003]

Two parts of my sexual asset yes.

The other things I ’feel’ are the ’sweet’ bits. I remain co...

Can you elaborate?

 

[Mee]

Can you elaborate?

I am not sure. Not sure if it will make sense. I do not want to say too much.


I think in What I consider my trigger incident is that the element if betrayal was not small. The parts that i felt safe and loved either weren’t real and the extent of crossover of that and the rape aren’t clear. There was involvement but... How much I don’t know and never will. the police the rape advocates my therapist all have ’a bad feeling’ about what I fear: the police most vociferously said what they feared and it was what I did to; but it's unprovable. So reviewing over where I put my trust and affection is haunting. I find my self crying after this often, but numb.

The bits of the sexual assault I revisit physically ? Did you mean that? I keenly remember waking up to it.
Sometimes as I am about to fall asleep I feel ’that’ unwanted touch for a moment. Sometimes when I am about to relax. The other part I remember is when I realised it wasn’g going to stop and I decided to comply to hasten it. When ever I do things like clear the shower drain or clean the toilet I ’feel’ that. It's momentary : it's not disabling. It's an unpleasantness that lasts a very short period of time. And I know some one is going to pick me up on minimising ; but it really is not the worst for me.

 

[Gs172003]

I am not sure. Not sure if it will make sense. I do not want to say too much.


I think in What I consi...

I'm sorry I didn't mean to ask you to go so detailed .I'm sorry if that was upsetting.
I was more asking about the betrayal part than the physical part. How that plays out now. It's ok you don't have to answer.

 

[Mee]

I'm sorry I didn't mean to ask you to go so detailed .I'm sorry if that was upsetting.
I was more askin...

It's ok.

We are here for the work, right? I can always say I cannot answer.

I just don’t know how to discuss the betrayal part while remaining safe here. I was ’doxxed’ before when discussing it and received threats to contact my partner’s family. Sigh. I do not take these very seriously and... We told them anyway so that if it happened they were prepared .

A lot I just have to not bring here because I feel it risks making my partner/ partners da.ply and me vulnerable for these people if they find me :( god I hate the paranoia too!

 

[Gs172003]

It's ok.

We are here for the work, right? I can always say I cannot answer.

I just don’t know how...

I understand.

 

[Joan]

You are not alone! Those physical feelings suck!

 

[AliciaEff]

I have them all the time. Inwas abused so there’s a lot there, but one I can feel strongly and I feel it often.