What is trauma therapy like?

[piratelady]

I get worried going into an unknown situation. I restarted therapy a few weeks ago, and was really nervous about going back. I started reading therapy blogs because he kind of clarifies the unknown for me and takes some of the emotion away, makes it more...mental rather than emotional? That's not quite the right word.

My therapist and I agreed to finally address the trauma which we didn't when I saw him a few years ago because I wasn't ready. I'm wondering what it's like? I can't seem to find a blog that captures the experience from our perspective, so it's not helping to ease my nerves.

Last night I was on the forums and I'm usually really careful about which posts I read, avoiding those that might be harder for me. This one I read though and it brought back a memory I had long since forgotten. I got overwhelmed so I wrote about it in my diary, but that didn't help. Instead I just started crying and couldn't stop. My friend distracted me and helped me stop crying. I remember he said he assumed I was processing it. Is that what trauma therapy is like? Remembering horrible things and crying about it? How does that make it better? I don't feel better.

 

[Joan]

Trauma therapy can take many different forms. One of the most important things before stating is knowing how to ground yourself, having coping skills for when it is overwhelming and tough. Sometimes it is talking through memories, sometimes identifying negative core beliefs attached to your trauma...there is talk therapy, EMDR, DBT.....it is different for everyone. I think that maybe you need to talk with your t and ask for more information, goals, etc so that you are more at ease. Best wishes.

 

[Suzetig]

Trauma therapy is different for each person, for some it’s an incredibly distressing, long, difficult process. For others it feels less emotionally draining and the work can be quite short term. It depends on your trauma, how skilled your therapist is, their modality, the work you actually want to do etc etc.

Tears and distress don’t necessarily mean the trauma is being processed - it can mean that you’re being retraumatised without actually moving through it. Processing trauma is about joining all the dots - so your memory of the event, your emotions, your thinking styles and physical and psychological reaction all fit together and make sense. This allows your brain to file it away as a coherent whole which then means it’s stored like any other memory basically it becomes part of your story - and possibly a sad part of your story - but no longer a highly distressing, symptom provoking part of your story.

This journey can be very challenging, but a good therapist will help it not to be overwhelming for you. Try not to read too much into others experience- it doesn’t need to be horrible and hard to be effective.

 

[Esterio]

Hi there piratelady

Therapy is hard it does bring everything to the surface and can be overwhelming. As well you need to be careful about what you read not to trigger yourself. I take a lot of breaks from reading and replying to post as I get really over whelmed by some of them. Any that validate my experiences are extremely difficult at times. I am careful take lots breaks and try to come back and have another look later. It seems to get easier to read the next time around, as you process what you are reading. Same can be said about talking about your trauma's every time you tell your story it gets easier.

Good luck on your healing journey
Peace be safe
Esterio

 

[EveHarrington]

Processing is more involved than just talking about it and crying. Essentially talking and crying is just "talk therapy" not trauma therapy/processing. When you process, things can get a helluva lot worse for some time until things get better. There are so many variables involved, what your trauma was, how long it happened, what kind of processing you're doing, etc.

 

[Still Standing]

I'm no expert yet. But, I know for me, just getting to the step of being able to cry is HUGE! I haven't gotten there yet. I have moments of leaking a little or crying for a minute of so but then the well dries up and I am back to holding everything in. So far, my trauma therapy is consisting of verbally revealing a trauma event with the T. Then I write out the whole thing, take it back to session and read it out loud to the therapist. Then I reread it, out loud, each day until the next session. This is repeated until reading the account becomes 'boring' and does not elicit an emotional or physical reaction. Now we have taken this account and are going EMDR. Now, I am refocusing on the most impacting part of the account and in my mind, reliving it, and letting my mind process it in a way that it no longer impacts or controls me. This is as far as I have gotten in my trauma therapy.

 

[piratelady]

Thank you everyone for your insight. I know it's different for everyone, for me knowing what others have gone through helps relieve some of that anxiety about it, even if I know my experience will be different.

As well you need to be careful about what you read not to trigger yourself.

I know, normally I'm more careful, last night I was careless. A brand new member had come into chat and I saw she posted an introduction. I decided to read it because I was curious to know more about her. That was a mistake. Normally I avoid the posts with titles like her's. Lesson learned there. I wish I had opened that can of worms a little closer to my next therapy appointment.

But, I know for me, just getting to the step of being able to cry is HUGE! I haven't gotten there yet.

It is for me too. My emotions are bottled up so tight it's as though they aren't even there sometimes. I wanted to cry more this morning, but was at work. I managed to stifle them again. Part of me hopes I don't break down like that in therapy, but the other part of me thinks it would be best since he would be able to help.

I'm still scared about going to therapy. I've avoided talking about my various trauma's for so long, now I know I really need to and it makes me so worrisome. I know I need to ask him to go over his plans with me so I know what to expect. Hopefully that will help a bit also. And mostly, I hope I don't chicken out. I really have no choice at this point though, I can't keep going on the way I am now. Time to rip the bandaid off I guess

 

[ArmadilloPolarBear]

I think the problem with therapy for trauma is that at first it can seem like retelling your story is dragging you through all these emotions, or that it is even therapeutic to go through those emotions over and over again. For a lot of people telling their story is helpful, especially in the beginning of therapy. I question how helpful it is to keep doing that for years. I guess this is a matter of preference or style, in talking therapy you talk a lot, in EMDR you don't even have to talk about the trauma with the therapist unless you want to. I guess what I am saying is that I don't think there is a set rule as to how processing works for each person. Some people process things really incredibly fast, others take a long time. Some people make lots of progress in talking therapy, some get less benefit from talking, and EMDR works wonders instead. It depends on the person, and many different factors. Therapy is like a personal journey, it's not right or wrong, and is different for everyone.

Processing is more than crying about the issues and reliving them. (It can be a release) At first for me that is all I wanted to do was relive and stay stuck in that cycle. But talking and doing EMDR has helped me create a dialog in therapy communicating and trusting my therapist, and that is when I noticed that as you process the trauma you get less and less stuck in the cycle of crying or reliving the trauma.

At first therapy and talking can seem like you will get pulled under from the overwhelming emotions, and it is really terrifying. This is why it is important to have a therapist who will go not too fast or too slow.

If you feel you have found the right therapist and are comfortable, it is best to share all your concerns and fears about the therapy you are in to the therapist, ask questions often. I see people often share their worries about therapy on these kinds of boards first avoiding a conversation with their therapist, and missing an opportunity to deal with the issue in therapy. Trust is an important part of therapy, a good start would be working with a therapist you can trust, sharing your fears about doing trauma therapy, building rapport. When you can share these fears about therapy itself with a therapist, then it will be easier to open up about more distressing and painful things. Take it as slow as you need to go, one bit at a time.

When I was able to share all of my fears about therapy itself with the therapist, then therapy started helping me. I had realized all the times I made no progress in the past with other therapists was because I never felt safe enough to talk to them seriously about the issues and my fears about the process itself, trusting them etc. I didn't realize how important that trust was for progress, I thought the process would work without that trust.

This is just my thought but it will be easier in therapy when you feel safe and comfortable. As you share your fears and concerns with your therapist it will help build your trust and ease the anxiety about talking and doing therapy about the trauma. Keep sharing your fears and anxiety with the therapist and you'll know when you are ready to talk about the trauma.

 

[piratelady]

This is just my thought but it will be easier in therapy when you feel safe and comfortable. As you share your fears and concerns with your therapist it will help build your trust and ease the anxiety about talking and doing therapy about the trauma. Keep sharing your fears and anxiety with the therapist and you'll know when you are ready to talk about the trauma.

Thank you for sharing all this information. I've been thinking about it for a while, and I am going to share my worries with my therapist on Wednesday. I do trust him, I think it's time to let him help me.

This journey can be very challenging, but a good therapist will help it not to be overwhelming for you. Try not to read too much into others experience- it doesn’t need to be horrible and hard to be effective.

Thank you, this is very helpful. My therapist said we didn't discuss it when I saw him before because he could tell that I wasn't ready. I think that shows he'll help me not to get overwhelmed. I feel a lot better about it now.

Thank you everyone.