Relationship Stay strong, sometimes good things do happen. combat ptsd vet relationship.

[headshrinker89]

After 4 months of isolation, no communication, and a lot of prayers, my combat Vet with PTSD made contact with me; out of the blue. He owned up to his PTSD getting triggered, apologized for many things he didn't need to apologize for and thanked me for not giving up. Not getting back into a relationship, we are enjoying the present and are fine with living there at the moment.

I know what its like to feel they will never return, I know the hopeless and sleepless nights. And I know the reality that some people will return or things don't work out the way we want them to.....sadly I feel like we experience more of the negatives than the positives when it comes to this situation we share.

Keep living life, those who are being pushed away from their loved one with PTSD, stay strong. If or when they come back, keep your guard up and set boundaries. I know I will really have to practice setting my boundaries.

 

[RN_Loving_A_Vet]

@headshrinker89 I truly needed this today. I have been struggling with so many mixed emotions the past couple of days. I've felt discouraged and hopeless even though my Vet remains in contact. But because of the relationship being at a standstill my heart aches every moment. So I asked God for a sign today, a sign of hope and faith and goodness. And then I opened up the forum and read your post!!! I am so incredibly ecstatic and happy for you that your Vet reached out. I can't imagine how you must be feeling. I'm going to be keeping you in my thoughts and wishing for the best. Hugs to you!!!

 

[Mytime]

Thanks for the awesome post. :). I know from experience about keeping your guard up and your boundaries. As time moves forward the guard and safe walls can come down, but boundaries always stay. :)

 

[Louski]

@headshrinker89 you have no idea what this post means to me. It gives me a tiny bit of hope even though I am feeling more and more that there is none. Thank you x

 

[questionsaboutrel]

You are right. Sometimes small victories are important. I’m stewing and anxious over my guy’s fight with me last night, but I had a thought suddenly about progress... last night after starting to fight with me, he told me to go sleep in the guest bedroom. I went up there immediately and he didn’t come to bother me or talk all night. Just gave me my space and took his.

I’m taking a deep breath in and using this as a victory. He respected me enough to let me stay in a safe space for the night, and was able to rein in the rage enough that he didn’t try to continue the argument or engage me. A year or two ago, that wouldn’t have been the case. It’s so hard to see the positives and baby steps forward and not let the rough times cloud our judgment.

 

[Freida]

Y'know, sometimes when I read how much pain supporters are in it kind of makes me almost teary.

Until I started on this site I truly didn't think my behavior bothered my supporters. I think that is because by the time I get to the actions that hurt them I'm so far down I can't see anything -- if that makes sense. But being on this site and seeing how much you all struggle? It really breaks my heart. And makes me appreciate my supporters so much more.

 

[ExhaustedandConfused]

Hi,
I’m new to the forum. I have been dating a vet that runs hot and cold! Our stories are the same. My question is about not knowing why he acts certain ways. He sometimes goes off on me saying he can’t date me because I have kids(which he knew beforehand and he has a child but doesn’t get to see very often because the miles between them) or I have too much drama with ex( which can be true but I also have a handle on that situation as well). I haven’t said anything in reguards to being serious/exclusive/etc. so I’m not sure why this comes out of nowhere! I really like him and I’m an understanding person when it comes to his experience and ptsd. I also can set boundaries and gently but firmly stick to them. Is he feeling pressure because of his ptsd or what? I’m very protective over my kids and he has yet to even meet them. I don’t understand! Help!!

 

[Sweetpea76]

Hi ExhaustedandConfused... you'll get a better response if you start your own thread.

 

[CharlieByrd]

After 4 months of isolation, no communication, and a lot of prayers, my combat Vet with PTSD mad...

Had you stayed in touch with him or you maintained no contact also? What had happened that triggered the last bout of silence you two had? Thank you for posting this

 

[Pippi427]

Thanks for sharing. Mine did this to me for 2 months at the start of our relationship. I know the misery and the joy. Always try to stay positive.

 

[EveHarrington]

Hi,
I’m new to the forum. I have been dating a vet that runs hot and cold! Our stories are the same....

Well in all seriousness it’s best to jump ship before things get serious if you know you can’t handle ex drama or someone else’s kids.

 

[headshrinker89]

Hi,
I’m new to the forum. I have been dating a vet that runs hot and cold! Our stories are the same....

Hello...sorry I haven't logged back on since this post in July! Me and my person with combat PTSD are actually in a relationship now...so things have been going very well with his PTSD. How are things going currently? I can maybe shed some light on the question you asked, but since it was a couple months ago, I'm not sure if that is still going on or not. I'm glad to help.