Deb, my friend killed herself this morning.

[ms spock]

She wanted me to come to Trivia on a Monday night, and I said I didn't want to come, and she said why not, why not come so we can all get through this together. And I said long story, and I did say but what I didn't say I don't want to socialise with Deb's husband, or her sister, I was friends with Deb, and I tolerated her husband but I avoided her sister. I had told Y I don't like trivia anyway.

I think maybe she was wanting support from me, and maybe she felt down about that.

 

[ms spock]

So I texted her and said I was really sorry that I wasn't there for her the week that she found out, that I had missed her message on Facebook. I would have been there if I had gotten that. That I am currently besieged with dental and ear issues. That I really wanted to be there for her. That I send love and hugs, and I think she got it.

 

[littleoc]

That’s good.

Hopefully she’ll want to be supportive of you, too

 

[ms spock]

We will have to see how it goes @littleoc. It will be interesting to see if the friendship survives it all.

 

[ms spock]

So L of T&L came to get the bird cage today, which was bitter because I tried to contact her after she came back from America three times to say "I think Deb is going to kill herself", and she never got back to me. So I was frustrated about that. So I pleaded illness and got B to give her the cage. It is too late now, and if I was to be friends with her I would have to see Deb's husband and her sister, and that is not for me, life is too short.

 

[Friday]

It’s not your fault Deb killed herself.
It’s not your friends’ fault Deb killed herself.

I tried to contact her after she came back from America three times to say "I think Deb is going to kill herself",

 

[Anarchy]

I'm really sorry

It is all the harder when it is a slow motion train crash, you are watching but no one else will either listen to you or see what is about to happen. That's shit, but it's not your fault

It wasn't cassandra's fault that she was cursed and no one would believe her foresight.

I think that guilt (if only I'd... could'a should'a would'a ) is a normal part of grief,
Especially when the person chose to end it themselves

I've been there, long enough ago to realise that it probably wasn't in my hands

The friend was already calm and no one suspected anything.

I hope that this helps bring you some peace of mind

Hugs

 

[Lionheart]

What a tragic loss...I am so sorry !!!

I hope you are able to find some peace and comfort in the midst of all of your pain and sorrow.

God love,
Lion

 

[ms spock]

It’s not your fault Deb killed herself.
It’s not your friends’ fault Deb killed herself.

Yeah, yeah, yeah I get it but I then lose it.

And I suspect, as Deb was playing them off against each other, that she did the same with me. Also L is socially phobic and agoraphobic, she was not equipped.

It is all the harder when it is a slow motion train crash, you are watching but no one else will either listen to you or see what is about to happen.

It was frustrating.

It wasn't cassandra's fault that she was cursed and no one would believe her foresight.

Yeah

I think that guilt (if only I'd... could'a should'a would'a ) is a normal part of grief,
Especially when the person chose to end it themselves

Probably

I've been there, long enough ago to realise that it probably wasn't in my hands

Yeah

I hope that this helps bring you some peace of mind

Hopefully

Hugs

Thanks

 

[ms spock]

It’s not your fault Deb killed herself.
It’s not your friends’ fault Deb killed herself.

Yeah - I get that and I lose that.

 

[shimmerz]

Cognitive Distortion:
I have the power to change a person's mind just because it is better for them to think the way that I do.

I have the right to think that others should know that I am right and will do what I know is best for another person.

Each of you tried.
Each of you failed.

This was nobody's responsibility besides your friends. And she had plans that were different than each of yours were. Regardless of your good intentions.

 

[ms spock]

I just have to accept this situation. I am struggling with it, but I will get there.