What do you avoid in your daily life? What do you no longer avoid?

[Slushie]

What things do you avoid in daily life?

I avoid having a life. I avoid feeling. I avoid being around people. I avoid a lot of things. I am doing better with this, a lot better with this. I am more here at the moment. I am struggling to get moving though.

What do you avoid in your life?

What do you no longer avoid?

I avoid public toilets for fear that I will be attacked in them because it's apparently OK for men who identify as women to use women's toilets now. ???

I no longer avoid eating when I'm hungry.

 

[Oceans]

Hi, in fact these are transgender women, so they're women. They are at a lot of risk of assault and just want to quickly pee and get out. I know there is a media storm about this and there seems to be a lot of misinformation out there, which is a shame, since survivors and transgender people could really be natural allies for the mistreatment the world throws at both groups.

 

[ms spock]

I know a lot of transgender people who are survivors @Slushie, and I encourage you to not to soak in the fear mongering in the media (and certain political agendas) and to go and reach out to people in real time, we have a lot in common.

Most of the real violence against us in from the people that we are related to biologically, or we are in relationships with, stranger danger from the "other" is construct, and a very low risk.

People who are transgender are actually the victims of violent crime much more than they are the perpetrators (or the general population are victims of violent crime), it is like saying that all of us mentally ill people are violent, destructive and manipulative. Well maybe 2% of us are violent, destructive and manipulative, but that should not inform the ways in which we are all viewed. That was would be distressing for all of us on MyPTSD.

Many of my gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and intersex friends have suffered horrific violence whilst going about their lives minding their own business. Most of them are going to be much more scared of you, than you are of them. One of my friends got attacked whilst in her own kitchen by a bunch a of Christians who broke in and assaulted her. Even in their own homes they are often not safe.

 

[Slushie]

I take your point @Living in the 70s,and I know some transgender people have been through terrible abuse and they mean no one any harm. My fear is that any man can now put some women's clothes on and use bathrooms and changing rooms meant for women and potentially assault women and/or little girls in them. Some men will go to such lengths and there's no cctv to prove in these places if some assault did occur. I always was wary anyway due to already having been sexually and physically abused by men in my life and now it is worse.

 

[Ronin]

@Slushie

What you are spreading right now is transmisogynic / transphobic against trains women specifically, nonsense, unsupported by the statistics AND real life of trans women alike.

And since I am tired by this particular nonsense, a thread on this very issue regarding gender roles of children had the stats (and discussion) I was about to cite, in a more patient manner.

Also, reported.

 

[Teasel]

I too avoid connection even though it's what I want most! So there are a couple people here even who I have been extroadinarily grateful to for their kindness and understanding. I avoid them sometimes and feel terrible shame about that.

Also I have a massive f*cking problem with doing well. The moment I notice I'm doing well I avoid continuing the good habits I had built up.

I feel shame about this too.

I feel really out of control around this and am ashamed of it. And I suspect underneath all this is terror.

Luckily my T is helping me to look at this and bless her she's trying to help me past the do well then eff it up pattern by not being horribly judgemental at me about it.

It feels like this is massively bringing this problem to the fore but I'm resisting the urge to stop T and clinging onto the idea that exposure therapy will help in the long run.

Must thank @anthony for this actually. On joining here I guess I was in the mindset that various other boards encourage - sympathy and saying sweet things and actually I've really appreciated the way this board has challenged the way I feel into a healthier way to see things.

Still an effing long way to go but what else would you expect from someone who does their best to avoid what's good for them. :meh:

 

[Friday]

Let’s get this thread back on topic, please.

@Slushie ... if you’d like to start a thread discussing a fear of men or transgendered people related to your trauma, you are more than welcome to. It would be the same as discussing being triggered or stressed by any other group of people whether it’s sex, gender, race, religion, occupation, age, etc. An often very real and present problem with PTSD.

I would suggest you read Stressor vs. Trigger - What Is A Trigger? to get a handle on the core issues there, first.

HOWEVER, simply tossing out your fears of an entire group of people across various threads and forums, you’re very near the line of hate speech, or trolling, neither of which is tolerated. You’ve been warned, twice now. Expect to be banned if it continues.

Do not reply to this post in thread. If anyone would like to discuss it further, please contact us.

 

[Ronin]

(Topical) I don’t avoid kindness, as hard.

But I am clueless what to do with it the same.

I avoid communicating harder than I have, though. Not sure if it is just avoidance or depression, simply reason given letdowns, or what. Just aware it is unhealthy for me, and needa shoulda find a way around it yesterday, because phrases do not cut it.

 

[ms spock]

I understand your fear @Slushie but there is a difference between your fears and the reality of crime statistics. You might benefit from reading David Burns book ' 'Feeling Good'. We must all combat and challenge our own fears and prejudices. I tagged you in a couple of threads re distorted thoughts.

I am avoiding feeling feelings. I am having a tough day.
I am avoiding living my life.

I am really owning my belonging a lot more. I am being there with that. I belong to my partner. I belong here.

 

[Sweetleaf]

edit: read through thread after a certain post.

I avoid public less.
I avoid my home more.

:/

 

[ms spock]

I am having experiential avoidance. I don't want to experience my own feelings or experiences.

 

[Teasel]

I used to avoid physical contact with others. Then I oved to city with lots of people from other European countries who all hug and kiss on the cheek lots and I supoose it successfully acted as exposure therapy as those things just don't bother me as much.