feeling dumb and embarrassed in therapy

[ImSad]

I can’t stop feeling incredibly dumb and embarrassed by everything I say in therapy.

I get so nervous and flustered half the time that I feel like I’m just babbling, not speaking in complete sentences and not saying what I actually want to get across. Then I feel like my therapist must see me as some weird pathetic rambling mess. I beat myself up over it every time.

Does anyone else have this issue? If so, how do you cope and not let it interfere with your therapy?

 

[Abstract]

Im not sure I am a help advise wise but relate to a lot of this. I have had phases where I would speak quite normally in therapy but it was when I was highly dissociated and in denial. The last lots of therapy have been a mess. Its word spaghetti a lot of the time. I think its the level of stress. Also, I dont trust at all so really don't want to speak. Half my self is trying to speak and the other half trying to stop me speaking so that -= a mess.

Have you discussed this with her?

 

[ImSad]

Im not sure I am a help advise wise but relate to a lot of this. I have had phases where I would speak quite normally in therapy but it was when I was highly dissociated and in denial. The last lots of therapy have been a mess. Its word spaghetti a lot of the time. I think its the level of stress. Also, I dont trust at all so really don't want to speak. Half my self is trying to speak and the other half trying to stop me speaking so that -= a mess.

Have you discussed this with her?

You just worded that perfectly how I feel! May be useful to bring to her in better words.

I’ve mentioned it briefly in the past, particularly pertaining to one particular topic we discussed that bothered me for a long time. I felt like it was getting better for a while, but now since I’ve started dissociating less and feeling more it’s a constant bother. I think I’ll bring it up next session.

 

[Abstract]

Oh mine got much worse as I became less dissociated. And even more when I tried to actually tell something presently relevant. In retrospect I had many many ways of creating distance. Less distance more mess.

Good luck. Hope it goes well. Think speaking about would be a great step.

 

[ImSad]

Oh mine got much worse as I became less dissociated. And even more when I tried to actually tell something presently relevant. In retrospect I had many many ways of creating distance. Less distance more mess.

Good luck. Hope it goes well. Think speaking about would be a great step.

Thanks for these replies, it helps a lot to know i’m not the only one that does this! Definitely something I need to address because it’s only getting worse with each session as I start digging deeper into my problems.

 

[Abstract]

Totally relate to that. I ended up not being able to speak at all so I would really advise trying to get your t;s help with it.

Was thinking that if anyone saw me in therapy they would have zero idea of my usual persona. I normally speak fairly fluently, apparently put others at ease, like having discussions. In therapy I appear to have the intelligence of a flee, have some sort of speech impediment, some sort of thought disorder and a whole lot of other things happening. And maybe also high. ?

 

[ImSad]

Totally relate to that. I ended up not being able to speak at all so I would really advise trying to get your t;s help with it.

Was thinking that if anyone saw me in therapy they would have zero idea of my usual persona. I normally speak fairly fluently, apparently put others at ease, like having discussions. In therapy I appear to have the intelligence of a flee, have some sort of speech impediment, some sort of thought disorder and a whole lot of other things happening. And maybe also high. ?

Ha, I relate to all of this all too well. I’m sorry you experience the same thing, but am relieved to know I’m not alone

 

[hithere]

I feel this way often and many times I look back to a year ago and think I have made a completel fool of myself to let this counselor know what things are like for me. It is embarrassing.

 

[ImSad]

I feel this way often and many times I look back to a year ago and think I have made a completel fool of myself to let this counselor know what things are like for me. It is embarrassing.

If you ever figure out how to get rid of this feeling, please let me know.

 

[Freida]

Yep....all the freaking time! We call it my blah blah moments - when my brain just shuts down. And I actually say blahblahblah.( I do it in my diary here too). For me it's when I'm overwhelmed and can't find the words I want. So we switch to a totally different topic and then revisit that one later...may be during that appt, maybe 3 weeks from now.

it's a dissociation thing for me but it's also a great indicator we are treading on dangerous ground and need to slow way down

 

[Abstract]

What does that say if "hello" gets you there? ???

 

[ImSad]

I mentioned this briefly to my t in our last session. She said it doesn’t even matter that much if the words I’m saying don’t make complete sense, because it typically only happens when I am unloading some heavy baggage. She said that’s part of un-burdening, which is important in letting go and healing. Of course I still feel pretty dumb for it most of the time...but at least I know it’s useful for something?

And @Abstract I feel you on that one! The babbling is what gets me feeling extra embarrassed and dumb, but even little things like greeting her at the beginning of sessions make me self conscious. Ahh, the joys of therapy and insecurity. One can only hope it goes away as time and healing progresses!