Sufferer Told I have CPTSD, but I don’t understand it at all, & have some questions.

[Skywatcher]

Hi
I guess I feel lost in it all eg the way I'm feeling and mind blocks where I seem to go back when I see or hear something that triggers it.Also 1 specialist said I shouldn't have treatment that talks about the past yet another 1 says I should yet because he's not trained in complex PTSD those in charge of him have referred me back to the first one.I get so upset inside with fear and nightmares and tiredness that I end up sobbing.I question myself as to where have I gone....I'm not the fighter I used to be.I try to crawl up but I'm struggling.Why Why Why
Ruth

Perhaps they were refer

Hi
I guess I feel lost in it all eg the way I'm feeling and mind blocks where I seem to go back when I see or hear something that triggers it.Also 1 specialist said I shouldn't have treatment that talks about the past yet another 1 says I should yet because he's not trained in complex PTSD those in charge of him have referred me back to the first one.I get so upset inside with fear and nightmares and tiredness that I end up sobbing.I question myself as to where have I gone....I'm not the fighter I used to be.I try to crawl up but I'm struggling.Why Why Why
Ruth

I understand your frustration. I recently read that “talk therapy” has proven to not be as successful for ptsd as other types of therapy. It went on to say that if your t brings down your distress week after week, it just builds back and becomes a cycle. So, the best therapies are ones that promote self healing. Giving you tools to empower yourself to get better. They do raise the distress enough to challenge your thinking patterns. If I were you, I might research types of therapies that will help complex ptsd. Usually complex means multiple traumas, trauma from childhood or years of abuse. When you think of how long your mind lingered in a damaged thinking pattern, it may take that long to undo it. I believe this is why the quick fix on my rape with emdr never happened, I ended up sucked back into an earlier trauma from my childhood. At that time, my T, made the comment that mine was a “little more ‘complex,’” in answer to my question of why I hadn’t healed after 6 months of therapy. So... learning how to function in a new normal may be a first step AND IT SUCKS! However, it helped me to get outside and breathe, appreciated nature. Compose. It’s easy to write poetry and music while in a really dark place. Maybe you will find something to aim your pain into. I’m trying to remain hopeful and I hope that you will be able to as well.

 

[Ruthb]

Perhaps they were refer

I understand your frustration. I recently read that “talk therapy” has proven to not be as successful for ptsd as other types of therapy. It went on to say that if your t brings down your distress week after week, it just builds back and becomes a cycle. So, the best therapies are ones that promote self healing. Giving you tools to empower yourself to get better. They do raise the distress enough to challenge your thinking patterns. If I were you, I might research types of therapies that will help complex ptsd. Usually complex means multiple traumas, trauma from childhood or years of abuse. When you think of how long your mind lingered in a damaged thinking pattern, it may take that long to undo it. I believe this is why the quick fix on my rape with emdr never happened, I ended up sucked back into an earlier trauma from my childhood. At that time, my T, made the comment that mine was a “little more ‘complex,’” in answer to my question of why I hadn’t healed after 6 months of therapy. So... learning how to function in a new normal may be a first step AND IT SUCKS! However, it helped me to get outside and breathe, appreciated nature. Compose. It’s easy to write poetry and music while in a really dark place. Maybe you will find something to aim your pain into. I’m trying to remain hopeful and I hope that you will be able to as well.

Thank you soon much skywatcher.
You mentioned poetry and as it happens I used write poetry and even had it published.I wrote it in honour of fallen soldiers and their families.Maybe I should have the confidence to pick up my pen again.
Another question is does PTSD make you sensitive to any ache and pain eg you are more aware of a pain and your mind focuses.Is feeling like a hypercondriac..I get convinced something terrible is wrong even if a doc says otherwise

Ruth

 

[Survivor3]

Hi Ruthb, welcome. I too suffer from CPTSD. It's horrible. I hope that you get support from this site. I certainly have. It can be hard enough trying to recover from a single trauma let alone multiple ones over decades. All the best too you.

 

[Ruthb]

Hi Ruthb, welcome. I too suffer from CPTSD. It's horrible. I hope that you get support from this site. I certainly have. It can be hard enough trying to recover from a single trauma let alone multiple ones over decades. All the best too you.

Thank you so much survivor 3 .It's nice to know you don't have to suffer alone and there is a light at the end of the tunnel
Ruth

 

[Skywatcher]

Thank you soon much skywatcher.
You mentioned poetry and as it happens I used write poetry and even had it published.I wrote it in honour of fallen soldiers and their families.Maybe I should have the confidence to pick up my pen again.
Another question is does PTSD make you sensitive to any ache and pain eg you are more aware of a pain and your mind focuses.Is feeling like a hypercondriac..I get convinced something terrible is wrong even if a doc says otherwise

Ruth

I know of many people with ptsd that have fibromyalgia. I also believe that the body stores pain, especially since we are dealing with a nervous system disorder. In general, I get sensitive teeth due to clinching them in my sleep, I also wake up having clenched my hands in my sleep. My therapist is always trying to keep healthy behaviors as a big part of my recovery. It isn’t easy. Self care is really hard to do when you feel like hiding or hitting a wall. Reading “The Body Keeps the Score” was helpful. It is on how the body stores trauma.

 

[Ruthb]

I know of many people with ptsd that have fibromyalgia. I also believe that the body stores pain, especially since we are dealing with a nervous system disorder. In general, I get sensitive teeth due to clinching them in my sleep, I also wake up having clenched my hands in my sleep. My therapist is always trying to keep healthy behaviors as a big part of my recovery. It isn’t easy. Self care is really hard to do when you feel like hiding or hitting a wall. Reading “The Body Keeps the Score” was helpful. It is on how the body stores trauma.

Thanks for reply.Is worrying about having something

I know of many people with ptsd that have fibromyalgia. I also believe that the body stores pain, especially since we are dealing with a nervous system disorder. In general, I get sensitive teeth due to clinching them in my sleep, I also wake up having clenched my hands in my sleep. My therapist is always trying to keep healthy behaviors as a big part of my recovery. It isn’t easy. Self care is really hard to do when you feel like hiding or hitting a wall. Reading “The Body Keeps the Score” was helpful. It is on how the body stores trauma.

Thanks for reply.I find I now worry about having something terribly wrong health wise .Like full of dread and doom that I can't enjoy life because I'm constantly worried. Iso don't get why.
Ruth

 

[Ruthb]

Hi all.hope everyone's had an ok day.I'm just admit my days been terrible.I had a real breakdown.spoil not good

Just so fed up with this

 

[mumstheword]

Hi, I do know what you mean. It's hell right now, but you CAN recover and heal.
I found Pete Walker's material a great resource. His book Complex PTSD, from surviving to thriving, is a profoundly helpful text, IMO.
Keeping sharing and focus on self care, you'll get "there", as in feel better and adjust. Life isn't over, it's just thrown a super hard, fast, curve ball at you.
You might need a lot more rest and time to yourself now. That's ok though right? You need to listen to what you need, what your body, soul, mind etc needs, coz you can't push so hard anymore, but it's doable.
You obviously have a strong will and "Where there's a will, there's a way" seems applicable in this context.
Also "Ask and you shall receive" became really helpful for me, when it happened to me.
Take care!!!!

 

[Ruthb]

Hi, I do know what you mean. It's hell right now, but you CAN recover and heal.
I found Pete Walker's material a great resource. His book Complex PTSD, from surviving to thriving, is a profoundly helpful text, IMO.
Keeping sharing and focus on self care, you'll get "there", as in feel better and adjust. Life isn't over, it's just thrown a super hard, fast, curve ball at you.
You might need a lot more rest and time to yourself now. That's ok though right? You need to listen to what you need, what your body, soul, mind etc needs, coz you can't push so hard anymore, but it's doable.
You obviously have a strong will and "Where there's a will, there's a way" seems applicable in this context.
Also "Ask and you shall receive" became really helpful for me, when it happened to me.
Take care!!!!

Aww thanks.I For whatever reason my mind has gone totally overboard.I'm having had dreams when I do manage to get to sleep also i have a bad throat which I've had for about 6 weeks of which 2 doctors have tried reassuring me it's nothing terrible but my mind says otherwise.I am so aware of every ache.I'm also going through menopause and I'm tired and can't seem at times to keep control.I listen to the woes of my grown up children and in my heart i feel terrible as I just want to say please stop as I can't carry your problems.I can't though as I'm mum.I'm Sooooo drained.

Hi, I do know what you mean. It's hell right now, but you CAN recover and heal.
I found Pete Walker's material a great resource. His book Complex PTSD, from surviving to thriving, is a profoundly helpful text, IMO.
Keeping sharing and focus on self care, you'll get "there", as in feel better and adjust. Life isn't over, it's just thrown a super hard, fast, curve ball at you.
You might need a lot more rest and time to yourself now. That's ok though right? You need to listen to what you need, what your body, soul, mind etc needs, coz you can't push so hard anymore, but it's doable.
You obviously have a strong will and "Where there's a will, there's a way" seems applicable in this context.
Also "Ask and you shall receive" became really helpful for me, when it happened to me.
Take care!!!!

I will get a copy of the book you mentioned

 

[mumstheword]

I have grown.up children with problems too. It's a tricky juggling act to balance, more like I lurch from helping them managing their crisis's to having to manage my own.
They need to know we are a human too and not just "mum" . So yeah, they will be better off for you being human with them, and then.you can.share recovery resources too, as you focus on your own wellbeing, you will become even more resourceful as a mum. It's a tough one though. I still agonize over them and their wellbeing, or lack of, as the case may be.

 

[Sanctuary]

What I have learned over the last 22 years is get a therapist that you trust.
Unfortunately, some can do more harm than good, some can save your life.
Trust your gut feelings. You know what is right for you.
God bless, I hope you find healing