Small things daily

[SeekingAfrica]

So I've been having a rough patch recently (a 'things will never get better so what is the point' kind of time) so this is my effort to remind myself that what I'm doing matters. Somehow.
So I am attempting to write something I've achieved daily on here. Small things.

Today: 1. I woke up 20min before my alarm naturally(at 6:40)!
For the longest time I've been waking up at 9-9:30, so for the last 2 weeks I've been trying to wake up around 7am to give myself an early start to write and do yoga and stuff. Some mornings I managed, feeling like a zombie still. Some mornings I skipped. But I've been trying consistently and this morning I just woke up naturally, all rested. I still don't know how I'll survive this period, but hey, at least I'm giving myself an early start of the day.

2. Yesterday I did 3 task from the night/bedtime routine I'm trying to establish. The day before I did 2.
It's been forever since I had a bedtime routine, years, so this has got to mean something. I still feel how I feel and I'm scared, but I'm trying. And one day I'll be happy to have established routines, I'm sure. Honestly going through these routines yesterday was the only time I felt relief. I should build myself work/job search routines as well, maybe it will lighten the process.

 

[pink318]

So I've been having a rough patch recently (a 'things will never get better so what is the point' kind of time) so this is my effort to remind myself that what I'm doing matters. Somehow.
So I am attempting to write something I've achieved daily on here. Small things.

Today: 1. I woke up 20min before my alarm naturally(at 6:40)!
For the longest time I've been waking up at 9-9:30, so for the last 2 weeks I've been trying to wake up around 7am to give myself an early start to write and do yoga and stuff. Some mornings I managed, feeling like a zombie still. Some mornings I skipped. But I've been trying consistently and this morning I just woke up naturally, all rested. I still don't know how I'll survive this period, but hey, at least I'm giving myself an early start of the day.

2. Yesterday I did 3 task from the night/bedtime routine I'm trying to establish. The day before I did 2.
It's been forever since I had a bedtime routine, years, so this has got to mean something. I still feel how I feel and I'm scared, but I'm trying. And one day I'll be happy to have established routines, I'm sure. Honestly going through these routines yesterday was the only time I felt relief. I should build myself work/job search routines as well, maybe it will lighten the process.

You are doing a great job, keep it up!
God bless.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Forgot about this yesterday, so here we go:

thursday- showed up for my ballet performance, even after spending 3 days in bed super depressed and suicidal
today: cleaned at home a little. this week has been so tough that all I did the last 4 days was dishes and laundry.
But today I'm giving myself some 15min here and there to just make my apartment more clean, organized and livable.

 

[blackemerald1]

Well done @SeekingAfrica - you are heading in the right direction. Be happy and pleased with yourself when you accomplish these things. :)

 

[DharmaGirl]

How are you feeling today? You are so wise in doing the small things, and recording them so you can see what you've done.

 

[Ronin]

all I did the last 4 days was dishes and laundry.

You say that like it wasnt all of those plates, spoons and cups, and forks, and knives, and sporks, and pans and pots, not even starting on every piece of laundry (and defeating several monsters that make stains stick hard, everything calling for either bleach or being burned altogether, the unknottable knots, et all) ... and all of that effort for four days even. ??? (High five, high praise, and a ring for a medal, since I am not seeing it).

 

[SeekingAfrica]

How are you feeling today? You are so wise in doing the small things, and recording them so you can see what you've done.

Well... I was highly emotional which resulted in me getting all emotional and starting to cry after my ballet class ended....not my proudest moment.

But on the plus side, accomplishment of the day, did go to ballet class regardless of how I felt!

Well done @SeekingAfrica - you are heading in the right direction. Be happy and pleased with yourself when you accomplish these things. :)

Thank you!:)
@Ronin Thanks! That definitely makes me feel better about doing dishes and laundry, haven't heard quite a nice description of it:))

 

[Ronin]

But on the plus side

More accomplishments, even :)

Because if you were emotional you were crying?
That may suggest you were tired.
And if you were that level tired?
That means you practiced enough / trained hard.
Which means both that you are trying hard, and that you are training ballet well. :ninja:

 

[Teasel]

Kudos to you for all your efforts with small things daily :) I struggle with these things too, it can be so hard even to do the little things when you're struggling hey, but they all help, best to you

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Just made a template for a safety plan in my planner. I haven't filled it out yet, I was tired just from making it, but it's a start, one day soon it will be filled and helpful.

Planning to add some affirmations from the DBT workbook as well.

Everything seems so bleak today, but I'm trying.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Made a super-stressful phone call that I really didn't want to make. Doing another one soon.

@Ronin Today is definitely from the days where washing each dish feels like a big task...

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Also today:

Managed a mini(15min) workout.

Asked for help with money for food. Was unavoidable other than choosing to starve this week. Still felt like an achievement though.