Small things daily

[DharmaGirl]

You are doing so well with all the poo thrown at you! You are really a survivor!

 

[SeekingAfrica]

@DharmaGirl Thanks, really needed to hear this today.

Yesterday: went to therapy + walked to there and back in the sunny spring weather(40min in each direction)
Today: I'll be honest, today was rough, spend a lot of it in bed.

Current achievement: Did 8 min of yoga. Yes, 8. Still counts.
Leaving my planner aside and doing mini tasks broken down 3 at a time on a bright pink sticky note. Usually not into neon colors, but today I enjoy that brightness.
Still wallowing in bed trying to get a hold of myself, but intermittently, every once in a while I do something. 5min here, 10min there. Checking for that one email from a client I am waiting for. Washing 3 dishes, no more, no less...things like that.
If I want to beat this, I'll have to manage my expectations, and on a day like today existing is a task.

 

[Ronin]

Still felt like an achievement though.

As it should. :tup: Kudos on not starving and meeting your needs.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I've been cleaning and organizing a bit more around the apartment.
I'm also finally inspired and ready to blog(I've been writing sporadically on paper and pretty much have 4-5 posts ready to be written and edited).

I can't feel it yet, a part of me feels like I'm too late on all these things. But I have to though. Keep trying. Hence this thread, obviously. I don't feel that it matters right now, but one day I'll be happy I finally did this. Maybe it will give me something to look forward to.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Had a really strong emotional day of barely holding on yesterday, but I talked both to crisis line and my best friend until I felt slightly better.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I started reaching out to friends I haven't seen in a while so I can see them and recharge a bit.

I also talked to 2 close friends and told them things have been rough and asked them to check in with me every once in a while over the next week. It's kind of a radical thing for me- trying to ask for what I need instead of hoping someone would guess.

This maybe the hardest time I've had in long time, so there is no roadmap. I'm just doing what I can day by day.

 

[Muttly]

It may not seem like it to you, but you are accomplishing things. Take away the "just". You didn't "just do 8 minutes of yoga." you did yoga. You did yoga when you are trudging through a super hard time and that's huge.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

@Muttly Thanks for the reminder to also write in this thread again:).

Yesterday: Worked half work day in bits for a first time in a while. Going for a full day today, fingers crossed.
Will write later for today as it is only the beginning of the day.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Saturday: Asked for help. Paid 1 bill.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I wrote my first blog in years(started a new one). Not sure anyone will read it, but I started something.
And writing felt good. I feel like I have a lot of writing in me. I created that blog a year ago, I've been meaning to start for a year, so this is something. Not perfect, I was too impatient, but it's a start.
I just couldn't take spending every minute worrying about present anymore and I needed to do something outside of my current reality and constant needs and worries.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Went to ballet.
Also walked all the way to there. (about an hour)

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Having a hard time lately so thought I would get back to writing these to remember small thing matter too.

After 2 days of working in bed and only being out once for food, closing blinds and hiding in bed, I finally exercised.
15min yoga. Plus I put stopwatch and spend 15m on the balcony even though I didn't feel like it.