Advice for the first anniversary of my suicide attempt

[froggymom]

It sounds like you have a good grip on things . You know what you have to do ( stay connected to people, make those cards, send the email). You will be fine.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Glad it worked out that way for you, @intothelight .
I'm not sure why mine took the "anniversary" over "new chapter" route.

Suppose it's another instance where people respond to the same(ish) circumstances differently.

It makes me think of something @scout86 said earlier:

Really good point.
But I think in my circumstances, the power was given subconsciously and by the time I realised, it had already become a "thing".


A lot to think about, though; thanks both.

Our imaginations allow us to imagine positive alternatives to negative emotions/perceptions. Seeing OD- with all that guilt it can produce as an annual occurrence like a birthday- maybe not a good idea(IMO) . Will you be celebrating it anxiously five years from now? I certainly found it to be a life lesson.... but one not to carve in the calendar like a Remembrance Day.... one not to dwell on or give it power to make me ruminate-or worry-as this seems to have on you.

Consider being with a friend, having them to your house, plan to do something w someone that is positively fun around that time- but I’d caution turning it into a tradition. That time, was a wake up call to live-consider having fun on that day!

 

[bellbird]

Will you be celebrating it anxiously five years from now

I'm not sure, but I hope not; not anxiously at least.

I certainly found it to be a life lesson.... but one not to carve in the calendar like a Remembrance Day.... one not to dwell on or give it power to make me ruminate-or worry-as this seems to have on you.

Yes, I do tend to worry. I also have a thing for numbers (which showed during my ED), which makes anniversary dates or "it's exactly X number of weeks since Y happened" really stick in my brain.
I know it's something I'll need to work on, in general, through therapy with my new T, and hopefully it can make anniversaries (trauma- & attempt-) less of a Thing.

Until I have that healthier view of them, I will, as you suggest, try to put as positive a spin on the day as possible.
Tomorrow is the 2 year anniversary of the death of a very close friend; I'd really like for my attempt to not be such a big thing right now as one trauma anniversary around this time of year is enough, but my brain just isn't there yet :) and I am mindful of giving my worry/anger/grief/guilt this outlet through words, as it's a whole lot better than other coping techniques.

 

[Lionheart]

I am happy that your attempt failed and I think a celebration is in order! Rather than a reminder of how horrible of a time it was for you, maybe you could take stock of all the life affirming things that are part of your life now. I know this amounts to counting one's blessings, but that can be a very powerful shift in perception that can make the difference between a day of unhappy memories and a day of pleasantry. I would like to see this anniversary become a cause for celebration if at all possible...at least this is my wish for you. Anyways, maybe not the best advice, but I want you to know that I am happy you are here!!!

 

[ms spock]

Have you seen Kristin Neff's website @bellbird? Her website on Self Compassion has meditations you can listen to or download for free. How about doing a Self Compassion Break to be kind to yourself on the day of your anniversary of your suicide attempt?

 

[FauxLiz]

@bellbird, perhaps you can frame it as a rebirth? Not an attempt to die but an opportunity for a new life which you are making the best of now.

 

[Teasel]

Thinking of you, agree writing about it here is a good outlet.

Have you decided what you might do yet?
Best

 

[Freida]

@bellbird, perhaps you can frame it as a rebirth? Not an attempt to die but an opportunity for a new life which you are making the best of now.

Love this!

 

[Freemartin]

I wonder if there’s something we all could do that day to kinda walk with you through it. We could, like, come up with a logo or something for the day and post pics of things we’re doing that day with the logo drawn somewhere. Or we all could cook your favourite dish for dinner (if it’s not too fancy... :D )? Or listen to your favourite music? You name it!

 

[Freida]

I wonder if there’s something we all could do that day to kinda walk with you through it. We could, like, come up with a logo or something for the day and post pics of things we’re doing that day with the logo drawn somewhere. Or we all could cook your favourite dish for dinner (if it’s not too fancy... :D )? Or listen to your favourite music? You name it!

I love this idea!

 

[bellbird]

I am happy that your attempt failed and I think a celebration is in order!

I would like to see this anniversary become a cause for celebration if at all possible...at least this is my wish for you.

Thank you, sweet Lion :hug: your words are always very appreciated.

Have you seen Kristin Neff's website @bellbird? Her website on Self Compassion has meditations you can listen to or download for free

I haven't! I will have to look into it, thank you :)

How about doing a Self Compassion Break to be kind to yourself on the day of your anniversary of your suicide attempt?

I like this idea!

@bellbird, perhaps you can frame it as a rebirth? Not an attempt to die but an opportunity for a new life which you are making the best of now.

Ohhh, and this one too. Very much.

Thinking of you, agree writing about it here is a good outlet.

Have you decided what you might do yet?

Thank you, @berlinda .
I definitely have so many wonderful ideas thanks to everyone here.

Let's see if I can consolidate my thoughts based on those.

• I think it will be important for me to be around other people. Given my current struggles with the concept of what makes a "friend" that I spoke about in my other thread, I probably won't make a date with a friend(s) IRL, for fear of being let down which would so feed into any potential negative feelings of the day.

Instead, I make a point to go to at least 1 place where there are people around; my university (it'll be a week day: Tues 21 May), a café, etc. Treat myself to the best looking piece of cake in the display case.

• I like the flip card idea to emphasise for myself how much has changed in the past year, in case doubts (which I'm anticipating) creep in.

• The self compassion break is a good idea, too. Perhaps a gratitude meditation, some yoga.
Putting on my "armour" (a past idea from Swift for anniversaries), to make myself feel as best/confident/strong as possible on that day; doing my hair, putting a little makeup on, and wearing an outfit that just makes me feel Good about myself.

• Making sure I remember that I can check in here/ with my T on the day.

I wonder if there’s something we all could do that day to kinda walk with you through it. We could, like, come up with a logo or something for the day and post pics of things we’re doing that day with the logo drawn somewhere. Or we all could cook your favourite dish for dinner (if it’s not too fancy... :D )? Or listen to your favourite music? You name it!

Y'know, I come to this forum almost every day now, because the support here is like no other, but still there are some moments that have me completely in awe at the empathy and kindheartedness of others, and this one of those -- thank you, @Freemartin . I am so so touched, and very teary :hug:

I would love that. Taking @FauxLiz 's idea of viewing the day as a rebirth, I think the symbol of a butterfly would be very apt. And they happen to be one of my favourite animals, too.

For those that would like to "join in" the celebrations, and yes I am already seeing that day in a much more positive light, I would love it if you would do things on that day that make you happy.
• Cook a meal that you love; that's your favourite food, or that brings up memories of happy times, or that makes you feel good.
• If there's someone you haven't told in a while that you love them (family, friend, pet, loved one passed), make a point to tell them on that day.
• Maybe there's an album you haven't listened to in a long time that you really like, or your favourite movie you feel like rewatching.
That would be the absolute best "gift" for this celebration: to spread some joy to each of our pockets of the world.

?

 

[Teasel]

???

Sounds a wonderful plan @bellbird and I should like to join in with yourideasfor others too :)