Sleeping too much

[willhealeventually]

I’ve been discharged from the day treatment program and will be seeing my psychiatrist/therapist on Monday.
I am noticing just how much I sleep - all night and at least 2/3 of the day since discharge.
I met with a career counselor, revised my resume, and applied to two jobs. That felt good. But then I just crawled under the covers and try to avoid everything - even eating.
I don’t understand why I am so shut down.
I am very medication resistant and the medication is the best it can be. After discharge, I was shocked to see a full list of my diagnoses - ptsd, agoraphobia, major depression, cluster B... People tell me that they believe in me, but I am wondering why I am sleeping so much. Has anyone gone through this and tried something that worked for them?
Thank you.

 

[Friday]

I have a few different versions of sleeping too much

Stress Management (see stress cup)
Avoidance
Depression
Exhaustion

There in a list, but it’s morw like a loop... because exhaustion & stress management should be next to each other, and all the rest bleed one into the next. Meaning that sometimes there’s very little difference between stress management and avoidance, and sometimes they couldn’t be more different from each other.

- If I’m getting shit done, but sleeping a lot in response? That’s usually stress management. In a better managed version instead of a few extra hours of sleep, it’s those hours spent reading or exercising or socializing or hobbies. Relaxing things that help me gain energy to balance out the stressful things I’m spending energy on. If I’m getting symptomatic to the point that any anything is stressful? Even “relaxing” activities are using up reserves I don’t have? Zzzzzzz.

- If even the most basic tasks are stressing me to the hilt? I have to dredge up the strength to shower, and can’t be bothered to dry my hair, and f*ck food (that requires too much thought, steps and cooking, and no way in hell, f*ck no, argh lay down and sleep)? I’m hitting avoidance. There can be NOTHING going on in my life -and there very soon will be- once I’ve hit avoid-the-everything <<<< This is more of a bridge between stress management & depression, I’ve found, than anything else. It can exist on its own, but it’s more commonly a warning sign that I’m NOT managing my stress and about to overload into a full on crash. ((In days of yore this place used to meant I was about to blow up... fighting, f*cking, driving too fast, lashing out, living by the seat of my pants dysregulated as fawk all energy blowing outward))... these days I tend to collapse in on myself instead. Which means depression. >>> When I hit this place? I need to start burning energy instead of conserving it. Which feels backwards, but it’s a stress thing. I need to GET UP (while I still can) and start redirecting energy outwards. Less destructively than I used to, but still it needs to burn off, and burn off now.

- Depression... I will be sleeping 20+ hours a day for weeks and months. The worst of it will be weeks of just getting up to pee, not being able to focus my eyes for even that, slamming some water, and praying I get back to bed before my legs go out from under me OR so dissociated/zoned out I have no idea how much time I’m awake or asleep. Because I can stare at a wall for days. Mistake the sun rising and setting as car lights on the street. It is a seriously f*cked up place that I hate/loathe/despise/scares the shit out of me... because there’s nothing I can do to stop it.

- Exhaustion... is a different version of sleeping 20+ hours a day, and infinitely shorter. Days and weeks instead of weeks and months AND I’ve got a full emotional spectrum running. I’m just recovering from a hard run. I’m not down. I don’t have trouble eating/interacting when necessary, I’m just f*cking tired. Reserves are totally spent. Few days of sleep, or few weeks, and I’m my normal energetic self, again. Speaking very sternly to myself about overdoing... again. As in don’t. Unless we want to lose another few weeks to bad planning. But? Sometimes it’s necessary. Because big things are going on, and so I just have to account for a week or three of heavy hitting, and a few days of sleep. Which is where this one loops into Stress Management. When it’s planned for, rather than a reaction to.

 

[willhealeventually]

This is very helpful! I never thought of breaking it down like that. Stress, avoidance, depression seem to fit the bill for me. I feel like I am juggling so many things-job search, divorce (and everything that comes with that), groceries, paying bills, graduate course I am taking, and kids. Even paying my bills has been a huge source of stress. It feels like endless details.
I am on med leave and at least stopped going to work - it was too triggering to teach high school right now. So that’s one thing off my plate that was huge. Except now I am stressing about 8.5 unpaid days of leave.
I also understand what you said about overdoing it. I do that and then need several days to recover.
Thank you for your reply!

 

[Sideways]

Coming out of a program always comes with a rebound for me, and given the amount of time spent ‘discharge planning’, my thoughts are that’s pretty normal.

What’s really helpful is taking a note of what’s happening for you, skills you’re using to get back to a bit of normal, and what works/doesn’t work. Because it means you get better and better at that readjustment phase.

Like @Friday my excessive sleep comes from a number of different causes. One of which is that I’ve been hypersomnolent for a long time now, so sleeping 12 hours a night and still needing to siesta is my normal.

That’s influenced by my current meds.

It’s also influenced by my mood. Low mood means I need to sleep more, sleeping more puts downward pressure on my mood, and so the cycle goes. When I’m sleeping 18 hours a day? My mood is usually rock bottom.

But sleep has also become a coping strategy. I’m not going to SH or (more importantly) suicide if I’m asleep. So when things get too risky, I’ll put myself to sleep for the day. And I survive.

Pulling myself out of really ad hypersomnolence and maintaining a reasonable degree of energy and stamina to get through the day? Routine. I get up and walk doggo around 6am every day, and keep that momentum going through to lunch if I can. Siesta, then have an afternoon routine.

Routine is a big thing that our body rhythm misses when we suddenly stop a daily treatment program. Finding a way to replicate a degree of routine at home might be helpful.

 

[willhealeventually]

Coming out of a program always comes with a rebound for me, and given the amount of time spent ‘discharge planning’, my thoughts are that’s pretty normal.

What’s really helpful is taking a note of what’s happening for you, skills you’re using to get back to a bit of normal, and what works/doesn’t work. Because it means you get better and better at that readjustment phase.

Like @Friday my excessive sleep comes from a number of different causes. One of which is that I’ve been hypersomnolent for a long time now, so sleeping 12 hours a night and still needing to siesta is my normal.

That’s influenced by my current meds.

It’s also influenced by my mood. Low mood means I need to sleep more, sleeping more puts downward pressure on my mood, and so the cycle goes. When I’m sleeping 18 hours a day? My mood is usually rock bottom.

But sleep has also become a coping strategy. I’m not going to SH or (more importantly) suicide if I’m asleep. So when things get too risky, I’ll put myself to sleep for the day. And I survive.

Pulling myself out of really ad hypersomnolence and maintaining a reasonable degree of energy and stamina to get through the day? Routine. I get up and walk doggo around 6am every day, and keep that momentum going through to lunch if I can. Siesta, then have an afternoon routine.

Routine is a big thing that our body rhythm misses when we suddenly stop a daily treatment program. Finding a way to replicate a degree of routine at home might be helpful.

@Sideways routine is good advice. I also heard it in the program and from my therapist. I also agree that it’s good to keep an eye which coping skills are working for me. I learned this time that ptsd has “flareups” - I didn’t know that before. I’m definitely going through a flareup for the past month or so. It used to be that I would crash, and then rise up a couple of days later ready to go. This time is different. In therapy, I was asked to rethink how I approach life and tasks and my tendency to try to outrun my pain. I’m wondering if this sleepiness could be my way of calming my adrenals from a lifetime of fighting and flighting :)
Thank you for your response!

 

[siniang]

This post, right there, should be pinned somewhere ? @Friday

 

[Deanna]

Olly vitamins make some vitamins called laser focus that help me. Vitamin is consistent with a bunch of B vitamins, ginseng, and Alpha GPC. They are like 13 bucks at Wal-Mart for a bottle. I take mine right when I get to work. But girl.. I am like you. I can sleep forever. It started when my fiancee passed away and that was it. Never got a diagnoses though.. Just got a diagnoses 2 1/2 years ago but I slept for 7 years after he died, working Mon through Friday. I still work btw, but as Friday said ( in a way) my life is simple. ( not a lot of cooking, etc) still sleep all the time.

 

[willhealeventually]

Olly vitamins make some vitamins called laser focus that help me. Vitamin is consistent with a bunch of B vitamins, ginseng, and Alpha GPC. They are like 13 bucks at Wal-Mart for a bottle. I take mine right when I get to work. But girl.. I am like you. I can sleep forever. It started when my fiancee passed away and that was it. Never got a diagnoses though.. Just got a diagnoses 2 1/2 years ago but I slept for 7 years after he died, working Mon through Friday. I still work btw, but as Friday said ( in a way) my life is simple. ( not a lot of cooking, etc) still sleep all the time.

Maybe that’s part of the challenge - to rearrange our lives so that they are livable. I am so sorry you lost your fiancée. My heart goes out to you @Deanna's Gap

 

[Deanna]

Thanks willhealeventually! That was sweet. He ran a restaurant that was an old post office from the early 1900's. We went to the restaurant today just to look around on the outside ( beautiful gardens) it was nice to get out. Beautiful Day!

I was so lucky to have him in my life. He taught me a lot about ?, life, and family that I had no clue about. But seriously.. After he died in 2009.. I turned into sleeping beauty. My heart was beyond broken. My spirit was torn but I'm better now about all that. Thanks for asking! ??

Maybe that’s part of the challenge - to rearrange our lives so that they are livable. I am so sorry you lost your fiancée. My heart goes out to you @Deanna's Gap

My life is very simple now. It has to be for me to endure. ( work)

 

[willhealeventually]

I’m starting to really see how my sleeping is stress-related. After losing my job, I just started applying to new jobs and every application literally takes the life out of me. Mostly I am worried that my ptsd symptoms will get in the way of me doing a good job, waking up on time, keeping it together during stressful situations, and doing general self care while I am working and being a single mother.
I have enough finances to last me two months and then - I have no idea. The pressure of that makes me want to shut down and dissociate. Meanwhile, my kids and people around me expect me to be calm and hopeful. I go and down while trying to keep a straight face. I try not to think about what will happen if I don’t find a job. I am even too afraid to do my budget. I know I should take a step to ask a friend for help...

 

[Deanna]

Willhealeventually- you're getting overwhelmed by putting everything together. Concentrate on one issue at a time and be grateful for your victories! Two masters entitle you to jobs that just not everyone gets. What's wrong with a librarian job? Thats peaceful.

 

[willhealeventually]

You are right @Deanna's Gap! I need to expand my horizons.... i am trying. It has been really hard to accept ptsd and let go of my old identity. I am still clinging to who I was or thought I was anyway. I am really struggling coming to terms with the reality of what I am and need, which is more peace. I am trying...