Internal Family Systems (IFS) - How to accept your parts

[Ronin]

What would you do if that wasn’t a part, honestly, but just you, getting in trouble with others?

Think you might learn about where you differ, boundaries & coping with interactions & limits & negotiations wise. For this is not The Trouble Maker... this is just someone who solves issues differently, from you, labels are not gonna fix this, mutually renegotiating it might.

// Musing to HitHere’s post.

&, Yeah. I’m not so surprised at people lashing out... If they’ve been caged for a while. Kinda makes people bite on default.

Not saying it from a position of judgment, by the way.

Just saying don’t look at this, any part of you, as that evil prick, trying to hurt you... and do not treat them that way. Healthier ways to deal with things.

 

[Starfire]

We used hypnosis to kick start our communication. It facilitated parts *checking things out* more at the surface, feeling safe, relaxed, learning they were welcomed. Those were the only messages from T. We shortly learned to do the welcoming relaxation ourselves before a session.

 

[talon]

So I'm trying to accept my parts. My T is great at being inclusive. I am not. I have a hard time accepting my protector parts because they hurt others and my life. I have a hard time listening to one of my EPs that just goes nonverbal and sobs in the fetal position. I have a hard time allowing all of these fragments of me to be here.

My T was describing how she does hypnosis where she invited the parts to all get involved and my inner family was really excited and happy about that.

It was obvious that I don't do a good job of offering the same mindset. I guess part of it is I'm often too dysregulated.

How do you accept your parts and listen to them?

I supported a lady to recovery who had 20 alters at first not all friendly. I encourage my client to accept them as family returning home to reveal what they needed to reveal so that they could be re-assured they were safe and free from harm . When i was going away on holiday she became anxious about a respite whilst i was away and Jeff a protector appeared. He was angry and aggressive and did not like to be touched . I told him he was safe and was not in France anymore where he was abused but safe in the UK. He referred to host as big sis and was very protective but over time he saw me as big bro . I encouraged dialogue by email and an open diary inviting responses and communication with client in order to dispel myths about their situation and to remove their perceived fears. The child alters were the historians and revealed truth and lies

 

[Ronin]

I supported a lady to recovery

Which is commendable, but you got her / they all permission to share details of their names & trauma and structure like that, yes?

Not to be snappy, but we are talking a vulnerable woman private information, here.
One that you oscillate between calling your client & personal relation, and while from your other posts I am going to go with personal relation, would be just a huge boundary cross if a client, not starting on breaches of contracts & legality, at all. Wrong if personal relation, for other reasons, but still not right.

 

[hithere]

What would you do if that wasn’t a part, honestly, but just you, getting in trouble with others?

Think you might learn about where you differ, boundaries & coping with interactions & limits & negotiations wise. For this is not The Trouble Maker... this is just someone who solves issues differently, from you, labels are not gonna fix this, mutually renegotiating it might.

// Musing to HitHere’s post.

&, Yeah. I’m not so surprised at people lashing out... If they’ve been caged for a while. Kinda makes people bite on default.

Not saying it from a position of judgment, by the way.

Just saying don’t look at this, any part of you, as that evil prick, trying to hurt you... and do not treat them that way. Healthier ways to deal with things.

I did not lash out at all btw. not even in the least. I said nothing about lashing out or biting. In fact the opposite with that part. I have other issues that are pretty detestable but lashing out and. biting is not this exiled part's issue. (and I understand its me)

 

[Ronin]

I did not lash out at all btw

and I didnt say you did, either. It was an example, that I get how being locked away in any way is traumatic, leading to reactions that one would not expect as their normal, otherwise.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Be careful of Ts who offer hypnosis as part of ‘parts’ therapy or IFS. It has a really bad track record.

I’m not going to say “You have a negligent T”. If you have a lot of trust built up and they’re helping you? Go with your gut I think. But do your homework before signing up for hypnosis as part of parts work, or if you have high levels of dissociation.

My T has kinda "evaluated" my self-use of journey/self-hypnosis and given it the seal of approval because it is self-led/I set the intent, and I start/stop it, and I write all journeys down immediately-and usually email them to her. She personally steers away from therapist led hypnosis as she does IFS therapy. She doesn't appear comfortable with it in her practice. I guess because she deals with all kinds of trauma (cult/mind control/etc) she believes that there can be no question of her ethics/trust-building if she doesn't participate or lead hypnosis in the therapeutic sense.

My last therapist who was a trained psychologist, used it a lot when I went to her for therapy many years ago, suggested that my father may have abused me....and I had nothing in my gut that felt that way. I stopped going shortly thereafter. You are quite right....be cautious in it's use, but for a council meeting/parts meeting it is quite helpful to solve internal problems.