Overcoming
Confident
Having had a mother with BPD, experiencing sexual abuse, rape, and psych abuse has been so challenging. I don't know how to trust in relationships. Being an adult and feeling unmet nurturing needs has been too. I long for the tenderness of a mom. Understanding. Being known and accepted for who I am. An older female figure has entered my life and our friendship flourished over the past couple years. I hold this whole world inside of me though, as I imagine hearing motherly things/responses from her and being hugged. We've hugged a couple times, briefly and awkwardly.
I feel accepted and have been a little more vulnerable then usual, but not too crazy. (INFJ here). I cling quietly to moments of kindness or displays of thoughtfulness. All this to say, I withhold when I'm really hurting for fear of rejection or no response. Instead, I reach out through a random text and then die a little inside (okay a lot) when the text goes unanswered for days. I feel like a burden, but even small connection, like sharing what we're making for dinner, makes me feel wanted/cared about. I don't think I want too much. I'm not looking to be cared for. But I certainly don't want to be ghosted for days if I am really in the pooper mentally. I also realize she is a person with her own life, concerns, and needs. Should I tell her what that communication means to me? That I feel accepted and it means a lot? Would I be being creepy? How often do you text your friends? What the f is normal?
I feel accepted and have been a little more vulnerable then usual, but not too crazy. (INFJ here). I cling quietly to moments of kindness or displays of thoughtfulness. All this to say, I withhold when I'm really hurting for fear of rejection or no response. Instead, I reach out through a random text and then die a little inside (okay a lot) when the text goes unanswered for days. I feel like a burden, but even small connection, like sharing what we're making for dinner, makes me feel wanted/cared about. I don't think I want too much. I'm not looking to be cared for. But I certainly don't want to be ghosted for days if I am really in the pooper mentally. I also realize she is a person with her own life, concerns, and needs. Should I tell her what that communication means to me? That I feel accepted and it means a lot? Would I be being creepy? How often do you text your friends? What the f is normal?