Brother 1 (oldest) let's name him P.
-as first child was the "testing kid" and the "responsable" and "have to find by his own way" kid
-studied hard, was willing to become a model for us, to be a good brother, now he's the one in charge of every hard administative thing to take care
-loved way too much (read in an autistic way) cars, and still do
-still sometimes more intersted in cars than anything else
-the one who got from our mother the most, loving feeling pretty, spending lot of time arranging his look, luxury looking items
-suffer the most being very likely to gain weight and belly beause relaxed one too many meal or not doing enough sport (read doing a LOT of sport) (that trait is only from our father, our mother was thin)
-have heard an adult show him his part while he was young but this information isn't reliable because my memory tends to do shit
-Loved posing as a big borther with J. (other brother) and me
-I think he's a family kind of person
-for some reason watched porno at 13 and decided to test ideas on me and started see me as an object rather than a person even less as his sister
-he said it happened 3 times and he didn't penetrated (in a month before my mother realized)
-I said he penetrated me, wasn't judged stable enough to testimonie so the confession from my brther won
-my mother previoulsy asked him lot of questions to make admited what he's done to me (just after she realized so long before justice go to us)
-said at justice I understood what he's done was bad and won't ever do that again, discharged because too young
-tend to mask his real mood : he would act nice then suddenly insult me
-THAT NIGHT he realized our mother wasn't home around 1am, called her, waited for her to come home, phone her again at 3am but she didn't answered (already died)
-probably felt like the new parent after that since our father wasn't good at this
-abused me again but seeming in a softer way (my impression from forgetten memories)
-was doing it by pretexting to massage me so he could touch everything of me ( I would even undress myself for massages)
-wasn't discorved this time so I endure it in silence
-went to university and got the diploma unlike J.
-I was said (I think ?) he was having impulsion and anger issues and discharged it by riding a bike but with lot of serious
-tend to be angry at things, I remember he at least two time yelled at me, I would then run to my room and lock my door, then he was yelling to open it and seeing I won't just let me alone (probably hitting my door while asking me to open)
-only hit me once, I slapped him first because he was sexually abusing me. He slapped me back and keep abusing me
-probably was the one crying the most at our mother's funeral (borther J. was been told boys don't cry)
-took everthing in charge was my father was having cancer when he couldn't do it himself
-was very worried about me when I "disapeared" once while being depressed and very unstable, called everyone including police to find me (father told him I was probably fine)
-a time after I stopped the abuse by not letting him having me alone, started to acted remorsful, stoppped insulting me, done his best to help me in any way. Stayed his distance because knew I didn't trust him anymore
-was in charge of testament, family administrative stuff, handling adult-thing stuff
-the first time I saw he was having a girlfriend I was worried for her (was he abusing her too ?)
-the second and nowdays one seems more mature and able to take care of herself so I assumed she could defend herself in case someting happens
actual reason he was dimissed as military service altrought he did his best to get ingaged was unclear
-respected my boundries since our father was having cancer and still respect them
