Feeling invaded by my surroundings

[Deleted member 42984]

This may sound weird, I know I'm currently feeling simultaneously very present in the world (it's like I explore everything) -- and then there's this little part inside who feels invaded by his surroundings. Plus a ton of anxiety, especially agoraphobia. I've read somewhere that it's a depersonification/derealization thing. I connect it to weak boundaries, for my youngest part. I'm not psychotic. And it's not at all as bad as 5 years ago, where I literally felt like the outer world moved into my inner world. Now it's more like a faint sensation, along with a different feeling of being very interested in just about everything around me

Am I the only one?

 

[arfie]

hmmmmmmmmm. . . is that something like thinking of reality as that confusing time between naps?

for sure, it gets me taking another look at my chronic flight instincts. i've never thought of my discomfort in static circumstances as an invasion, but i most certainly believe my flight instincts are evasion based on my fears of entrapment. for sure, i dissociate like a beaten crazy bitch wolf before my flight instincts kick in.

interesting question, ziter. ponderance in progress. . .

 

[Tinyflame]

I think indoors needs to be a safe zone, and for me it (also) really starts within my own skin and head. And not being overly-stimulated (sometimes I want music, sometimes I don't, or tv, or sometimes I don't; same with lighting, etc). Not sure if that's at all the same?

Your kittens are Beautiful btw @shimmerz

 

[Deleted member 42984]

It seems like it's linked to anxiety; when anxiety is low, I don't have this feeling.

 

[Tinyflame]

Oh I'm so sorry @ziter , I saw the blue avatar, switched the Z to an S, and thought you were Shimmerz! Oh my goodness.
Yes @ziter how I feel can be contrary and definitely usually anxiety dictates it.

Hope today you are feeling a little better.

 

[Deleted member 42984]

No worries, I got a little confused when you tagged @shimmerz that's okay

I'm okay. Anxious but ok. Listening to classical music and playing music myself, it all helps

. is that something like thinking of reality as that confusing time between naps

Confusing indeed but also an intriguing journey

 

[caroline_13]

It seems like it's linked to anxiety; when anxiety is low, I don't have this feeling.

Same

 

[SallyO]

This may sound weird, I know I'm currently feeling simultaneously very present in the world (it's like I explore everything) -- and then there's this little part inside who feels invaded by his surroundings. Plus a ton of anxiety, especially agoraphobia. I've read somewhere that it's a depersonification/derealization thing. I connect it to weak boundaries, for my youngest part. I'm not psychotic. And it's not at all as bad as 5 years ago, where I literally felt like the outer world moved into my inner world. Now it's more like a faint sensation, along with a different feeling of being very interested in just about everything around me

Am I the only one?

That really sounds like anxiety or an anxiety attack. That happened to me and I was agoraphobia when I was in my 20's. I remember going to a live theater and had this strong urge to say something out loud that would disrupt the play?! My therapist told me it was anxiety and now I know he was right. I thought I was nuts.

 

[Dynamic]

I can relate...I agree it's related to anxiety.

It goes like this for me (kinda):
Feeling open present adventurous, find trigger shut down. Process, reopen.

Or

Feeling open present adventurous, and find frustration because it's still really difficult.

Realize this is my life (all over again)

Fight more frustration. I realize I need to feel.

 

[Tinyflame]

I think most is related to what I'm thinking (worrying about) in the background, then secondly how I physically feel.

(Thanks @ziter . )

 

[Friday]

Am I the only one?

Nope!

In addition to Hypervig where everything is shouting?

It’s actually a fairly core component of my other disorder (ADHD) and it takes rather a lot of time & practice & energy to shove several hundred incoming sensory messages into like groupings, and let them flow by in the background, rather than be constantly assaulted by them. When I get sick, tired, or under certain other kinds of stress? I often lose the ability entirely. Cue meltdown… if I can’t find something external to stick between me & the “everything”. Like extremely loud music (or even better, loud music paired with flashing lights & moving bodies, or driving a vehicle at speed); or jumping into cold water (or one better, cold water with currents).

When ^^^that^^^ marries to my PTSD hypervig? <low whistle> It gets BRUTAL, very very fast. Electric kaleidoscope nightmare hell scape.

 

[Tinyflame]

find something external to stick between me & the “everything”

^^ This is really great advice.

Also lack of sleep I think makes it much worse, or sick or stressed to the max, as @Friday said.