Physical feeling shouldn't impact my mood

[Muttly]

How I feel physically should not impact my mood. I am pretty sure this is a cognitive distortion. Except already I'm getting all tangled up. On the one hand, if you are in a lot of pain, sick or exhausted sure that has an impact on you. Except some how I feel like what you are supposed to do, is just move on then. Make lemonade out of lemons. Be fine. Suck it up. Can both be right?

 

[Weemie]

On the one hand, if you are in a lot of pain, sick or exhausted sure that has an impact on you. Except some how I feel like what you are supposed to do, is just move on then.

Where I tend to land on this is that because I am exhausted and in physical pain all the time I can periodically be very rude and mean to other people. I don't have the energy or capacity to moderate my words so things come out very bluntly && with a lot of animosity. That stuff isn't great. It's still my responsibility to treat other people with respect.

But in terms of it having a real legitimate impact on you & your mood? Of course it will. There is actually some evidence that chronic pain & personality disorders such as BPD are often comorbid & certainly that chronic pain will exacerbate the symptoms of other mental health disorders like PTSD or depression, if the direct correlation isn't there. As in, yep, chronic pain causes very real distress.

People who are sick and in pain deserve compassion and understanding for their specific circumstances. My suspicion is that if you were faced with someone else who was sick you very likely would not tell them to "just stop being sick && get over it." These double standards happen because we get mistreated like this & cast those same beliefs onto ourselves.

You were probably told to get over it, so that is what you have internalized you "should" do as an adult.

 

[Muttly]

I'm really not trying to be difficult, but what about mind over matter? Isn't that a thing?

People who are sick and in pain deserve compassion and understanding for their specific circumstances. My suspicion is that if you were faced with someone else who was sick you very likely would not tell them to "just stop being sick && get over it.

This probably proves that I'm a lousy person but I'd think it. Have thought it. I wouldn't say it, but I do sometimes think people need to try to cope and make the best of their situation when their are physical issues. And I'm not saying that's right or good. Ok, I guess it depends on how the person and what's going on. My mom was not healthy and refused to do the things that would help her deal with her physical issues. I don't want to do that. To just given in and not try to live life.

Meh, I'm getting muddled

 

[Weemie]

I'm really not trying to be difficult, but what about mind over matter? Isn't that a thing?

Nah I don't think ur being difficult at all just questioning! But personally I don't believe so. I have physiological injuries that prevent me from doing things like running, lifting heavy things, etc. I can't mind-over-matter and decide to run. No matter how motivated I am I'm physically disabled.

& when you contend with physiological damage and chronic pain you cannot mind-over-matter && get rid of it. It's gonna be there regardless of what you do. You have choices in how you react to it but those choices will always have to factor in that you are disabled or sick or w/e.

My mom was not healthy and refused to do the things that would help her deal with her physical issues.

I think this is a little different than telling someone to "just stop feeling pain" though. Like if you see someone with a broken leg ur not gonna be like "just walk, mind over matter babeyyy!" But thats different from watching a family member basically wallow in misery without trying to improve their own circumstances.

(But also, I do think sumtimes ppl who are disabled, we do try these things && they don't necessarily work, we have psychological issues that intersect, we get discouraged & give up after so long of trying and then ppl go "see, u don't even try!" So like, variable, yeh?)

Like me I've been thru every single iteration of PT and medication for chronic pain there is. TENS, acupuncture, tricyclic antidepressants, regular antidepressants, exercise, aquatherapy, acupressure, capcaisin cream, you name it. But I have CRPS which is unfortunately very difficult to touch and treat && that is physiological.

I used to be on opiates & take over 12 grams of acetaminophen per day but now my liver & body is healthy and I can actually engage with the world because I took my pain management into my own hands & found medicine that helps me (mitragynine). I'm not sitting around feeling sorry for myself or lamenting about the world, I took my pain management into my own hands.

People who don't do this especially loved ones, it can be very infuriating. If you perceive there is a solution that someone is just refusing to do. (However whether or not that solution would actually be effective is another matter altogether. A few of my docs told me "just exercise/do yoga" and I'd be fine. No more chronic pain! No more problems. Ez pz. Which is... not true.)

 

[Friday]

I am pretty sure this is a cognitive distortion.

Yep.

 

[Freida]

How I feel physically should not impact my mood. I

Well thats a bunch of crapola. of course pains impacts your mood. It's hard to be all happy and crap when you feel like sitting in a corner and crying your eyes out because you hurt

Make lemonade out of lemons. Be fine. Suck it up. Can both be right?

Maybe.
You may have noticed, a time or two, when I have landed myself in bed for trying to ignore my pain. Maybe

It's because admitting to the pain stopping me is just so....demeaning feeling. Like if I can just pretend its not that bad it won't be. And sometimes that works. Sometimes the only way to have a life is to push thru and find things to do. And sometimes that concept backfires spectacularly.

It's finding that balance, between "it's not that bad, I can move forward" and "holy crap I'm dyyyyiiinnnggg here"
Not really lemons to lemonade
More learning the boundaries the pain requires

My mom was not healthy and refused to do the things that would help her deal with her physical issues. I don't want to do that. To just given in and not try to live life.

Oh I get this!!!! I see people all the time who aren't willing to help themselves and it terrifies me to think I might become one of them and be stuck in bed the rest of my life.

But that's not who we are, you and me. We are the opposite end of the spectrum, the end that says we will keep moving even if it means causing more damage to ourselves, just to prove we can. And I've had to learn that this isn't a better option because it just makes me hurt worse in the long run. So it's just as damaging as NOT doing anything

It's about putting together a plan (docs, ts, meds, exercise) that lets us have a life in spite of pain. Maybe not the life we want, but a life we can have.

And that is way different than those who's only plan is to sit in bed and feel sorry for themselves because they don't want to do the hard work to heal

 

[Freddyt]

But that's not who we are, you and me. We are the opposite end of the spectrum, the end that says we will keep moving even if it means causing more damage to ourselves, just to prove we can. And I've had to learn that this isn't a better option because it just makes me hurt worse in the long run. So it's just as damaging as NOT doing anything

That makes three of us...I am the same way.

How you feel does impact your mood. Sometimes the hardest person to convince how bad it is, is ourselves. Self care and self compassion are important too. When it hurts - it hurts. I had an awful time with my back ( wrecked cartilage in my SI) and finally just learned to say when enough was enough.

Think of it like setting boundaries other places in your life. There is a point where you can't handle it any more and to stop before you get there....