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Sexual Assault Was I sexually assaulted

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Hi, right now I'm 13 almost 14 years of age, and I'm wondering if I was sexually assaulted or if I'm just overreacting

So this is how my story went.

When I was 12 years old just about 13 I was having a big sleepover with all my guy friends and we were all just having fun until my parents left to go out and have dinner. We were sort of just all sitting on my couch and the mattress on the floor until one of them started touching my thigh. I kind of got confused and froze at the same time, then another guy came down and kissed me. next thing you know a guy was sitting on top of me two holding my arms and one who was the first one who started touching me. he started at my boobs and took off my bra then he moved down to down there and started touching me there. Then the other guys started to join in, I tried pushing them away and told them to stop but no one would listen to me I had one guy sitting on me, one guy touching my boobs, one guy touching down there, and one guy kissing me. I tried getting them off me but I was helpless so I just lay there until they stopped I put my clothes on and went to bed.

was I sexually assaulted or am I overreacting
 
Hi @vollyballer4life15 .
Yes, like @Weemie said, that is sexual assault. You are not over reacting. It's common to think it's an over reaction, as we often blame ourselves. But this wasn't you doing something. This was them doing something very wrong.

You've been really brave sharing this here.
Do you feel able to share this with someone in your life? It's a big thing to carry on your own. It can cause all sorts of feelings, knowing this happened and not having an outlet.

Are you safe now?
Those guys are not friends , given what they did to you.
 
Hi @vollyballer4life15 .
Yes, like @Weemie said, that is sexual assault. You are not over reacting. It's common to think it's an over reaction, as we often blame ourselves. But this wasn't you doing something. This was them doing something very wrong.

You've been really brave sharing this here.
Do you feel able to share this with someone in your life? It's a big thing to carry on your own. It can cause all sorts of feelings, knowing this happened and not having an outlet.

Are you safe now?
Those guys are not friends , given what they did to you.
I have told a few people in my life but just my best friend and my boyfriend. I tried telling my mom and she told me it was my fault and that i wanted it to happen. I still go to the same school as them and they don't think they did anything wrong. The whole situation actually got turned on me because one guy said i raped him but instead they were doing that to me and they all agreed and spread it around the school. I am safe now but there was a few other times they did stuff like this after the main story i shared on here. Now most of my grade hates me and bullies me because they think i raped him, it has gotten better over time but its still something talked about around my school.
 
I am so sorry you are experiencing this.

Especially the reaction from your mom. Are you able to see a therapist? That would be helpful, I think.
 
I have told a few people in my life but just my best friend and my boyfriend. I tried telling my mom and she told me it was my fault and that i wanted it to happen. I still go to the same school as them and they don't think they did anything wrong. The whole situation actually got turned on me because one guy said i raped him but instead they were doing that to me and they all agreed and spread it around the school. I am safe now but there was a few other times they did stuff like this after the main story i shared on here. Now most of my grade hates me and bullies me because they think i raped him, it has gotten better over time but its still something talked about around my school.
I'm glad you have been able to share with a couple of tursted friends. And I'm sorry what your mum said.
I understand how hard it is when the school knows and they blame you. I had that too.
I'm also sorry that it has happened a few times.
No my parents don't let me see a therapist, i tried to talk to one one time and they told my parents i came to see them and i got grounded.
I'm sorry that happened.

At your school is there any confidential counsellor? Or a phone line or someone you can talk to where they won't tell your parents?

You're doing really well sharing here. It's hard to share these things.
 
I'm glad you have been able to share with a couple of tursted friends. And I'm sorry what your mum said.
I understand how hard it is when the school knows and they blame you. I had that too.
I'm also sorry that it has happened a few times.

I'm sorry that happened.

At your school is there any confidential counsellor? Or a phone line or someone you can talk to where they won't tell your parents?

You're doing really well sharing here. It's hard to share these things.
I have a little sister that goes to the same school as me, so when i go to the councellor she always sees me and tells my parents and its just a hard situation. I wish i didn't tell my boyfriend about it tho because i just found out today that he told a whole bunch of my personal shit to his friends. He also pressured me into sending him nudes and i just found out that he showed them around his friend group and has been lying to me about a whole bunch of stuff right to my face so i ended or relationship today. He told all his friends about my abusive parents and now the school is getting involved and they called social services. Ik i'm just spilling my guts but idk what to do or who to talk to and i feel like my life's falling apart and i'm getting suicidal again, i've already cut my thighs up pretty badly after finding out about the nudes and i just don't know what to do.
 
@vollyballer4life15 - it sounds like there's a fairly complex and distressing situation unfolding you. It would help a lot to have some real life support system.

Perhaps you could speak to the school counsellor about that again, or even just a trusted teacher? Here is Australia there is also youth-oriented support services including phone outreach services, drop-in centres, and websites that are all designed to support young people. The benefit of that is that (unlike here) they're going to understand the nuances of your situation and provide you with more meaningful support. I imagine there are similar services wherever you are in the world?
 
parents and now the school is getting involved and they called social services
Whilst this is very scary, it might help? You're dealing with sexual assaults, abusive parents, a boyfriend who has shared images of you (that is a criminal offence in the UK that he has just done). It's a lot. Maybe social services can help?

With the cutting. Understandable reaction to stress. It's good to talk to someone about that too, so that you get support with safer ways of managing all this trauma and distress you are going through.
 
The best way to avoid PTSD is to seek early help.

Traumatic resilience: avoiding ptsd goes into more detail.

In the interim I strongly suggest you reach out to RAINN or any of the resources listed in Sexual Assault - Are you wondering if you were raped? read this first.

n the U.S.:
RAINN | The nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization
(Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network)
Pandora's Project
(Pandoras Project, support for sexual assault and abuse)

In the U.K.:
www.thesurvivorstrust.org
(Survivors Trust)
Rape Crisis England and Wales
(Rape Crisis England and Wales)

In Canada:
Find Help Across Canada - Ending Violence Association of Canada
(Ending Violence Canada)

PTSD is only one of many many possible effects of sexual assault. What happened -and IS happening- to you deserves the best possible support & understanding. You’re already reaching out, which is badass. Now? You just need some precise targeting.

Give ‘em hell.
 
I'm glad you have been able to share with a couple of tursted friends. And I'm sorry what your mum said.
I understand how hard it is when the school knows and they blame you. I had that too.
I'm also sorry that it has happened a few times.

I'm sorry that happened.

At your school is there any confidential counsellor? Or a phone line or someone you can talk to where they won't tell your parents?

You're doing really well sharing here. It's hard to share these things.
I agree; I was just going to ask and see if someone through your school could help you to see a counselor.
 
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