What are you attracted to?

[Friday]

It was reminded to me, recently, the “Bright Points” that attract us to certain individuals.

His? Innocence. Wit. Allure.

Mine? Cocky. Mischievous. Patient Hunter.

Even a single trait draws us towards an indivudal, but finding them all in one person? Rare and priceless.

How about you? Do you know what draws you close? Do you trust it? Have you found pieces of it?

 

[user27357]

wicked smart and better than me when it counts, able to see it and not afraid to step up or step back when necessary. Wish i had that myself, did i say better than me?

 

[Rose White]

Unavailable. Perverse. Arrogant. Fragile ego. Unstable. Addict. Flirtatious. People I am attracted to make terrible partners for me. I’d like to train myself to be interested in people who seem boring at first, but I don’t know how yet. I’m decent at making friends now though.

 

[No More]

Honesty & integrity
Someone who can stand up for themselves/others, can say no, I can’t abide fawning & people pleasing
Their own life/hobbies/friends
Grit & determination, my mumma didn’t raise a quitter
Humour, able to laugh at themselves, (and me!)
Mental strength, carry them boats


In certain circles, most of the above is reasonably common. So yes, I’ve found it and bits of it in plenty of places.

I’d say for me though, my list of ‘can’ts’ Is far shorter and more important because those are absolute deal breakers, where as the list above is in bits and pieces, I’m very likely to respect someone from the above even if we don’t click romantically.

 

[kheals]

Strength, protectiveness and humor. And it would be great if they pick up after themselves.

 

[whiteraven]

I pretty much stay away from relationships at this point, but when I was looking, it was humor, strength, gentleness, caring. Maybe a sense of protectiveness, as well.

 

[Rose White]

Realizing that what I’m attracted to and what I desire are two separate things.

 

[Friday]

Realizing that what I’m attracted to and what I desire are two separate things.

Too right.

 

[user27357]

ladies, same for men. I love the comparison of a dangerous attraction to our wrong partners as being similar to being attracted to an “alluringly colorful but deadly poisonous amazon jungle tree frog” like god put them here to be noticed but best left alone. All things under the sun are not new.

 

[Rose White]

attraction to our wrong partners as being similar to being attracted to an “alluringly colorful but deadly poisonous amazon jungle tree frog” like god put them here to be noticed but best left alone

Love this! Stashing in my own bag of aphorisms.

I remember asking T why I kept falling for the wrong people or making the same mistakes and she said it’s normal for us to want to test ourselves and also normal to forget and learn again.

How many times as parents did we need to say “don’t touch that?” That’s what my wise self has to say repeatedly to my insecure impulsive fragile child self.

 

[MrMoonlight]

Appealing to me: strength, independent, laughs at my dumb jokes, lighthearted, funny, extroverted, isn't afraid to show her soft side, honesty, fluid and can go with the flow, supportive, intelligent.

I don't know...I haven't thought of this stuff for a long time.

 

[BuildingSelf24]

I don’t even know anymore. I’m avoiding dating and anyone who could possibly be interested in me or I in them. I don’t trust whatever draws me people and them to me.

I guess I could say the things I’d want in a partner, entirely based on what I don’t want.

Patient, compassionate, communicative, solution-oriented, motivated, thoughtful.