My New Therapist Makes Me Feel Stupid

[Jade-]

That's not a lame idea at all @Muttly

I feel stupid and while I don't like feeling this way, dressing it up or changing the wording isn't gonna help me with it I don't think. I'm starting to be more accepting of it actually.

I don't use the word stupid in real life, I don't say it out loud to anyone or about anyone. And I cannot stand hearing someone else use that word either. I'm sure it probably stems from my childhood and maybe just sitting with these feelings is the best thing to do. IDK for sure but that's what I'm thinking right now

 

[Jade-]

Another update, the guy is still my therapist. I no longer feel stupid though because I realize he's the stupid one.

What started out to feel like what I needed, someone very blunt & straight forward has been a nightmare when I am symptomatic. He doesn't take me seriously and brushes off any concerns I have. I'm not even sure he understands PTSD at all even though he claims he does cause just telling me "oh, just stop thinking about it" or "just ignore it" or "just focus on something else" isn't helpful at all. He gives horrible advice, doesn't seem to know his ass from his face and so many other things. He also is charging for sessions that I haven't even had with him and just won't stop freaking texting me every day.

So why is he still my therapist? Because I feel intimidated by him and I am kinda scared to drop him. I have texted him and let him know that I have too much going on in my life right now to be doing therapy. I haven't done a zoom session in months. I haven't called him, I don't text him first. He texts every morning and if I don't respond he keeps texting throughout the day until I do, so I eventually respond to get him to stop. He bills for the texts.

He has turned out to be such a shady mf and I am not sure what's wrong with me that I don't just block him.

 

[Movingforward10]

that is a horrible position to be put in.

ifyou do feel able to block him, that would be good. Sometimes we keep things going like this because it feels familiar. A healthy response would be self care for you.


if you ever felt like it: make a complaint, he is unethical and breaking professional codes. He is an unsafe therapist.

 

[Midnightmoon]

Another update, the guy is still my therapist. I no longer feel stupid though because I realize he's the stupid one.

What started out to feel like what I needed, someone very blunt & straight forward has been a nightmare when I am symptomatic. He doesn't take me seriously and brushes off any concerns I have. I'm not even sure he understands PTSD at all even though he claims he does cause just telling me "oh, just stop thinking about it" or "just ignore it" or "just focus on something else" isn't helpful at all. He gives horrible advice, doesn't seem to know his ass from his face and so many other things. He also is charging for sessions that I haven't even had with him and just won't stop freaking texting me every day.

So why is he still my therapist? Because I feel intimidated by him and I am kinda scared to drop him. I have texted him and let him know that I have too much going on in my life right now to be doing therapy. I haven't done a zoom session in months. I haven't called him, I don't text him first. He texts every morning and if I don't respond he keeps texting throughout the day until I do, so I eventually respond to get him to stop. He bills for the texts.

He has turned out to be such a shady mf and I am not sure what's wrong with me that I don't just block him.

I don't even want to count how many ethical codes this guy is breaking in one swoop. Is he registered?!

Blocking seems like a really sensible solution, I'm so sorry he's put you in this position. (Oh, and really, really pleased you can see it's him that's the stupid one... Although I might use a different choice of word for his particular level of ass like behaviour!)

 

[Jade-]

Sometimes we keep things going like this because it feels familiar.

I do believe you are right about that. I have tried telling him I am not interested in doing therapy with him and it didn't work and now I feel I am just trying to appease him to keep him from retaliating or something(?). I'm not sure he really would but my PTSD brain thinks he would.

I don't even want to count how many ethical codes this guy is breaking in one swoop. Is he registered?!

Yes, he is registered. As a sidenote he told me he branched out on his own because all the other therapists were jealous of him where he worked before ,jealous bc he's so great at what he does.

 

[Jade-]

Writing about this makes me see that I def need to get rid of this guy ,regardless of him telling me otherwise. Sometimes he texts me at 4:00 am, 5:00 or 6:00 am just to say good morning or ask how I am doing. It has evolved(or devolved?) into random texts of what he is doing, how his day is going ,etc. or just to say the sun is shining. And he's getting paid by my health insurance for this bs.

 

[No More]

In the nicest possible way - you need to put a stop to this, now.

As in, now is not the time to be being nice. You need to tell him to desist all contact with you, you need to block him, and you need to report him.

You should not be paying for sessions you haven’t had and if this is going through insurance you need to be informing them of that and letting them take appropriate action.

Yes he’s throwing up major red flags & he shouldn’t be doing any of this as a licensed therapist. But that doesn’t mean you have no power and you just have to take it. This is time for you to step up and advocate for yourself, say this is wrong and this stops now.

 

[Movingforward10]

There is something very wrong with him.

I totally get the trying to appease him. But I hope you do block him. You deserve to feel safe.

 

[Jade-]

I'm gonna just not respond at all to any form of communication from him today and see what happens. No matter how many times he texts

 

[Charbella]

If he’s charging your insurance for sessions you haven’t had, that’s insurance fraud. Call your insurance and tell them what is happening. Hopefully they can put a stop to it or advise you. If it continues I’d say call the police and report him for stalking. He can’t get away with this.

 

[Jade-]

Well, I didn't respond to his texts and the world didn't end....

So that's what I will keep doing...

 

[Movingforward10]

Well done. That is a great healthy step.