Is society miserable?

[Roland]

Okay, so I got a lot to sort out here so bare with me.

I have an entrepreneur spirit, I'm a visionary, and small business owner.

I'm more intelligent and more logical than most women.

And of course, I have PTSD, and personality splitting.

I can't work full time? Like I could if I had to for survival, but it's miserable for me. Life being working, recovering from working, or preparing to go to work is a terrible way to live.

When I say I can't, I mean I have, but it was miserable. If I did anything after work besides come home, eat dinner, ask and prepare for work and sleep, I would be stressed and exhausted the next day. If I didn't get 7 or more hours of sleep, I struggle to get through the day. And I mean like sometimes coming home and needing to sit in the dark for hours to be able to decompress, that's what I mean by recover (not a daily occurrence but regular).

I'm very blessed to have a husband that makes good money, so I can say I live b exactly the lifestyle I want. I stay home with my baby, and work part time.


Oh also, United States Corporate America is bullshit so that may be part of it.

 

[Friday]

also, United States Corporate America is bullshit so that may be part of it.

What about ranchers, farmers, artists, scientists, musicians, military, athletes, academia, medicine, law enforcement, & other giant wide swaths of society?

I hardly think that despising McCubical is insane. People despised the farm, when factories called. And fled from factory to farming when land became available. Country to town, town to country.

Just because it’s what’s “normal” in your immediate area/life? Doesn’t mean it’s what suits you, yourself, as an individual.

The only times I’ve known where everyone is miserable, is when that’s a choice being forced. Not metaphorically, but literally. Metaphorically? Individuals are miserable, because they’re in the wrong niche. Literally, even those who would choose that niche are miserable, because of the force. Like people who looooooove sex? HATE rape. Because they’re different things. Hating your choices? Are different from being forced against your will.

If you live where US coporate BS is normal? You ALSO live where ranching/farming, & artists, & a zillion other things are ALSO normal. If you’re miserable? Seek better. Sounds like you’re not miserable, but scared. Because if you lost what you have, your first choice would be misery, rather than better.

 

[Roland]

What about ranchers, farmers, artists, scientists, musicians, military, athletes, academia, medicine, law enforcement, & other giant wide swaths of society?

I hardly think that despising McCubical is insane. People despised the farm, when factories called. And fled from factory to farming when land became available. Country to town, town to country.

Just because it’s what’s “normal” in your immediate area/life? Doesn’t mean it’s what suits you, yourself, as an individual.

The only times I’ve known where everyone is miserable, is when that’s a choice being forced. Not metaphorically, but literally. Metaphorically? Individuals are miserable, because they’re in the wrong niche. Literally, even those who would choose that niche are miserable, because of the force. Like people who looooooove sex? HATE rape. Because they’re different things. Hating your choices? Are different from being forced against your will.

If you live where US coporate BS is normal? You ALSO live where ranching/farming, & artists, & a zillion other things are ALSO normal. If you’re miserable? Seek better. Sounds like you’re not miserable, but scared. Because if you lost what you have, your first choice would be misery, rather than better.

For me personally, I enjoy working part time as an interpreter and staying at home the rest of the time with my baby. I thrive with that lifestyle. But if I work full-time I lose my mind, like I can't do it (I could suck it up if I had to). But I just can't wrap my head around if I am that way because of being entrepreneur-minded, because of PTSD and anxiety, or because it's not a sustainable career for me to do that much. At full-time I start to feel a dread to going to work and I want to leave as soon as I arrive and I get that can't wait for the weekend feeling. I can't tell if everyone just "sucks it up" or I'm inept basically. I like to think I could do a non-social job full-time like working from home doing accounting or something administrative, but I haven't done that before and don't need to since I already live my ideal lifestyle.

 

[scout86]

I'm more intelligent and more logical than most women.

Based on what? Just curious. And maybe a tiny bit offended.

There's a saying to the effect that if you love your job, you never work a day in your life. Maybe it's a matter of being less intelligent and less logical, but I love what I do and enjoy going to work. I'm not sure you're really talking about a "society" issue as much as you are a personal one.

 

[Roland]

Based on what? Just curious. And maybe a tiny bit offended.

There's a saying to the effect that if you love your job, you never work a day in your life. Maybe it's a matter of being less intelligent and less logical, but I love what I do and enjoy going to work. I'm not sure you're really talking about a "society" issue as much as you are a personal one.

I said "average woman", but maybe I really meant "average person". Which doesn't have to do with whether you're satisfied in your job or not, except that if you're more intelligent or entrepreneur-mind you might not really "fit the mold". I also work in a female-dominated career and have worked in other female-dominated careers. I can say if you're a "logical woman" working in a group of women you notice real quick how most women operate primarily emotionally and not logically.

I'm not sure you're really talking about a "society" issue as much as you are a personal one.

That's why I asked in a PTSD forum. Is it difficult to work a "people job" fulltime if you have PTSD. And now that I'm thinking about it, there's so many factors like extroversion and introversion and people skills. I'm confused because my job is extremely fulfilling for me and I love it, but my brain breaks if I do it full-time.

 

[Tinyflame]

I think anyone, male or female, has to be both very intelligent and logical to work and even more so to do so full time in any field, especially if balancing ptsd or any other significant challenge, often with less resources or under the radar. Most people don't have a choice to not do so. And yes it requires social skills, perseverance and often sacrifice. And maybe more than anything, energy management and stress cup management. It isn't possible for everyone, but many people don't have a safety net. I have never trusted in the thought that things could remain 'well' or manageable if they are, either, as life can throw any curve ball (and has). But kudos to you if you feel that sense of guarantee or peace.

I think anything that brings you joy is easier, and anything that has increased stress(ors) can be very demanding.

JMHO though. Work also can bring a sense of capability and increased interconnectedness to others, or perhaps a joy in how you can help others. As @scout86 said if you love what you do it energizes.

ETA, I think it also depends on why a person works, and for what/ whom. For example (and raising a child or children is wonderful), but I would feel it unfair to leave the burden of earning to a spouse, as by that nature my spouse couldn't have the freedom, for example, to work less or even stop working when necessary or desired. So even if I hated my job if I loved my spouse I would be working. But everyone is different and sometimes things are possible and sometimes not. It's wonderful to have the opportunity to enjoy your baby! (And not easy working or not with lack of sleep!)

 

[Rose White]

ranchers, farmers, artists, scientists, musicians, military, athletes, academia, medicine, law enforcement

These are all corporatized to some extent.

@Roland I get you! Especially since you have a baby. But in general most jobs are bullshit, in my opinion. If you are someone who loves your job you are in the minority. My job is a teacher. I like it well enough and getting time off in the summer feels necessary at this point for my mental health. If I could have a part time job I would but with only one income and a kid there’s just no way. The funny thing about being a teacher in one of the states that pays the least is that society sees us as babysitters who could be replaced by robots. The thing about liking your job? Is that if society sees it as something worth liking then you are seen as deserving less pay—because you like it. Are the arts subsidized? No, because artists enjoy their jobs so they should do them for free. Childcare? They’re so cute, so that counts for something right? (I am being sarcastic.). Scientists no longer research what’s interesting to them because that would waste the money of the investors. Universities are funded by corporations and people tied to industries. Politicians—does anybody believe that Mr. Smith goes to Washington to speak for his people? Mr. Smith gets lobbied by pharma and bankers and military contractors (or smeared by the same until he’s replaced.)

Anyone who looks around and says, “Wait a minute, are we really this miserable? Is it really the case that a small cadre have hundreds of billions in their names and most everyone has less than nothing because of debt?” If you ask those questions you are looked upon with suspicion and told you are the problem because you don’t understand and please go watch some marvel movies and here’s Instagram and shhh, go get some Trader Joe’s and don’t you care about your kid?!

We all want a good life. And what unites us with the billionaires is that we can never have enough. Whether it’s time or money or happiness or health or anything (food and safety for too many)… we are together in that relentless pursuit which is taught to us through society. The lie is that it’s always been that way and it always will be that way. Good for you for standing up for yourself and your baby and saying, “This society isn’t quite working for me!” I don’t know how to escape it but some things that I’m noticing help are: art and interacting with people face-to-face.

Didn’t expect myself to get on a soapbox. *embarrassed* Ah well, it’s just a brief rant and then back to normal.

 

[Roland]

I think anyone, male or female, has to be both very intelligent and logical to work and even more so to do so full time in any field, especially if balancing ptsd or any other significant challenge, often with less resources or under the radar. Most people don't have a choice to not do so. And yes it requires social skills, perseverance and often sacrifice. And maybe more than anything, energy management and stress cup management. It isn't possible for everyone, but many people don't have a safety net. I have never trusted in the thought that things could remain 'well' or manageable if they are, either, as life can throw any curve ball (and has). But kudos to you if you feel that sense of guarantee or peace.

I think anything that brings you joy is easier, and anything that has increased stress(ors) can be very demanding.

JMHO though. Work also can bring a sense of capability and increased interconnectedness to others, or perhaps a joy in how you can help others. As @scout86 said if you love what you do it energizes.

ETA, I think it also depends on why a person works, and for what/ whom. For example (and raising a child or children is wonderful), but I would feel it unfair to leave the burden of earning to a spouse, as by that nature my spouse couldn't have the freedom, for example, to work less or even stop working when necessary or desired. So even if I hated my job if I loved my spouse I would be working. But everyone is different and sometimes things are possible and sometimes not. It's wonderful to have the opportunity to enjoy your baby! (And not easy working or not with lack of sleep!)

I love this response because you address every aspect of my original post and put it altogether in a nice package. My family and I are lucky enough for my husband to have a very stable, well paying job, and he's good at it. If something happened to his career or him, I could simply work more.

These are all corporatized to some extent.

@Roland I get you! Especially since you have a baby. But in general most jobs are bullshit, in my opinion. If you are someone who loves your job you are in the minority. My job is a teacher. I like it well enough and getting time off in the summer feels necessary at this point for my mental health. If I could have a part time job I would but with only one income and a kid there’s just no way. The funny thing about being a teacher in one of the states that pays the least is that society sees us as babysitters who could be replaced by robots. The thing about liking your job? Is that if society sees it as something worth liking then you are seen as deserving less pay—because you like it. Are the arts subsidized? No, because artists enjoy their jobs so they should do them for free. Childcare? They’re so cute, so that counts for something right? (I am being sarcastic.). Scientists no longer research what’s interesting to them because that would waste the money of the investors. Universities are funded by corporations and people tied to industries. Politicians—does anybody believe that Mr. Smith goes to Washington to speak for his people? Mr. Smith gets lobbied by pharma and bankers and military contractors (or smeared by the same until he’s replaced.)

Anyone who looks around and says, “Wait a minute, are we really this miserable? Is it really the case that a small cadre have hundreds of billions in their names and most everyone has less than nothing because of debt?” If you ask those questions you are looked upon with suspicion and told you are the problem because you don’t understand and please go watch some marvel movies and here’s Instagram and shhh, go get some Trader Joe’s and don’t you care about your kid?!

We all want a good life. And what unites us with the billionaires is that we can never have enough. Whether it’s time or money or happiness or health or anything (food and safety for too many)… we are together in that relentless pursuit which is taught to us through society. The lie is that it’s always been that way and it always will be that way. Good for you for standing up for yourself and your baby and saying, “This society isn’t quite working for me!” I don’t know how to escape it but some things that I’m noticing help are: art and interacting with people face-to-face.

Didn’t expect myself to get on a soapbox. *embarrassed* Ah well, it’s just a brief rant and then back to normal.

Yeah I'm with you on all that. Childcare has to pay lower because families have to be able to afford it do they deserve more, sure, but childcare in my area is also changing rapidly. Many moms are either realizing they need more money or that they want to be around their kids more so they're opening in home daycares or watching a few kids in their home informally. It is true society is run by corporations, business, and money. I respect teachers because it's honest become really rough to be a teacher and they play a valuable role. But the good news with teaching is you can easily leverage that experience and change your role slightly to raise your income and decrease bullshit. Tutors often get paid more hourly, and only deal with one kid at a time, interventions and specialists tend to deal with less kids and less bullshit both and I think some higher pay. But I'm sure you'll figure it out. At least you enjoy it (though probably hate the bullshit).

 

[Friday]

Yeah I'm with you on all that. Childcare has to pay lower because families have to be able to afford it

In my neck of the woods… childcare pays twice, to five times, what minimum wage is. It’s “why” my area has both so many single income families as well as round-the-clock families. (One parent works one shift, whilst the second parent Works the other, annd both sleep whilst kids are in school). Even the cheapest most McChildcare around?(YMCA) Is still about 3k per month, per child.whilst minimum wage only pays a grand. 2 grand a month? Doesn’t even cover childcare, much less food & housing.

It is the ONLY reason I went to school, when I got pregnant. Because I couldn’t afford childcare. Paying for 10 hours a week, instead of 50hours per week? 50k per year in grants/loans instead of 12k per year in salary? No brainer.

 

[Roland]

In my neck of the woods… childcare pays twice, to five times, what minimum wage is. It’s “why” my area has both so many single income families as well as round-the-clock families. (One parent works one shift, whilst the second parent Works the other, annd both sleep whilst kids are in school). Even the cheapest most McChildcare around?(YMCA) Is still about 3k per month, per child.whilst minimum wage only pays a grand. 2 grand a month? Doesn’t even cover childcare, much less food & housing.

It is the ONLY reason I went to school, when I got pregnant. Because I couldn’t afford childcare. Paying for 10 hours a week, instead of 50hours per week? 50k per year in grants/loans instead of 12k per year in salary? No brainer.

Yeah, that doesn't really work. In my area, childcare does pay higher than minimum wage, but not 2-5 times. Daycare is the cheapest option because they basically throw the kids in a playroom, in a dog kennel style we managed to pay minimum wage for childcare by hiring teenagers over the summer, but now we put our baby in an in home daycare. That works out for us since the in home daycare we take him to, charges rates that work for her and us, and by the time she watches four babies, she's making a decent wage without it getting "dog kennel-esque".

 

[Tinyflame]

Here it's stranger still: teachers where I am will soon be the best paid in the country, those with seniority making 6 figures. They pay more to those raising pigs than children (child care), but even a few years ago if you were late picking your child up, say 10 minutes, it was a 300$ fine. Our country is trying to establish 10$/ day childcare, but there is a gross shortage of spaces. I have found that female-dominated professions pay substantially less on average. Nurses here gained a massive pay bump but not until the 1990's.

 

[Rose White]

Why would government subsidize childcare when teenagers can do it. My state sacked head start about ten years ago. Cuz socialism I guess and “lazy people just want free stuff”.

female-dominated professions pay substantially less on average.

As certain fields become increasingly filled with women the pay goes down.