Bad Afternoon

[whiteraven]

So, I was on Cymbalta for pain. It wasn't really helping, and I was having some side effects, so I've been going off of it gradually. My rheumatologist said that if I wanted to keep taking it, I could--just to let her know. I don't.

I've left explicit instructions with my pharmacy NOT to contact any provider for refills. I've asked them multiple times. I even contacted corporate (and got a response), twice. They have contacted doctors I don't see anymore to refill meds I'm not on. Repeatedly.

They did it again, and I think it was my final straw. Not only did they get the Cymbalta refilled, but it's a 90-day supply. All I could think when I picked it up was that this was enough to kill me.

I don't know what to do with the rage--whenever I feel like this, I just want to die.

It's one thing in a long line of things--a LOT of pain (which I am now thinking may be a cracked rib), an animal in my walls, mice under my stove, a broken favorite dish, too much to do, and on and on. This is my safe place, and it doesn't feel like it right now.

 

[Rose White]

Sorry you’re dealing with all that.

 

[whiteraven]

OMG...it just gets worse. Rheumatology office tells me to go elsewhere to get an order for an x-ray, when I TOLD her at the last appt I fell. And that I can't tell if it's a fracture or the costo. Condo manager won't have someone check out the roof, because apparently an animal in the walls is my fault. Same jerk won't do anything about the cars that are being stored on the parking pad that have been there for months. I need proof and signatures (!) from neighbors that they've not seen them move.

I had forgotten how much better cutting makes you feel.

I cancelled the next rheumatology appt. Cancelled future T appts. I. am. f*cking. done with people who are supposed to help and don't.

 

[pamcoco]

Good grief. That's a lot. The rib especially must be unbearable. I get notices from multiple pharmacy all the time and just ignore them, but I have no insurance.

I too am a cutter, or mostly was one, but the relief is so tangible and immediate sometimes I just allow myself to, so In can stop the SI.

Maybe getting rid of the non-helpers will leave energy for something else. At any rate, I'm sorry for all you face.

 

[whiteraven]

I too am a cutter, or mostly was one, but the relief is so tangible and immediate sometimes I just allow myself to

Yes!

Maybe getting rid of the non-helpers will leave energy for something else

Oh, this is my plan. Unfortunately, that mostly just leaves my cats. But I've decided I just can't do it anymore. If I have to go it completely alone people-wise, that's what I'll do.

Thanks!

 

[pamcoco]

...and I just have my one cat and dog because my other cat died 2 weeks ago. They're my life. They seem to really get me! Hope you get that purr that touches everything lonely...

 

[whiteraven]

...and I just have my one cat and dog because my other cat died 2 weeks ago. They're my life. They seem to really get me! Hope you get that purr that touches everything lonely...

Oh, I'm sorry about your cat! I have two, and I get it. They are all I have

 

[Friday]

Donate it to a free clinic.

It’s 50/50 on whether they’ll use it, as long as it’s still sealed, if they don’t know you. Similarly? You can have your pharmacy donate such refills in future. All clinics take pharmacy rejects, as the provenance is perfect.

Sorry about your otherwise bad day. Turning the straw that broke the camel’s back into a win? Is the best I can hope to offer.