When I Get Angry Or Upset I Punch Myself

[vke]

It sounds sick and it is. I cant cope or something but, I feel better after. Does this happen to anyone else?

 

[cherryblossom]

I have moved this post from "Supporters - Dealing With PTSD Symptoms", to the general Post Traumatic Stress Disorder forum.

 

[Tinyflame]

vke, that is one form of self harm. Try checking (searchbox here, or Google) that category, usually an attempt to deal with overwhelming emotions, or trying not to be numb, all comes back (usually) to 're-enacting' (your) trauma(s). It's not 'crazy', -don't worry.

'Hi!', to you, btw :)

 

[MurphyJB]

Hi Vke.
I'm a supporter, but I also struggle with self-harm.
I often punch myself when I'm trying to resist the urges to cut myself.
Try looking up the thread 'The Urge To Cut Is Back'
Oh, and welcome to the forum. :)

 

[intothelight]

Hi Vke,

Self-harm is a common reaction to stress. There are several posts on this very topic, with great suggestions for alternatives to self-harm.

Take care.
Debbie

 

[Heather]

Oh, yes! You are not alone. And it is not sick. I struggle with this too and when things get too overwhelming I cut myself. I hadn't done it in 12 years and just recently started again.

It's amazing what trauma will do to you.

 

[Philippa]

I used to get strong urges to throw myself against the shower wall, or the bedroom wall, and bang my head hard against the wall when I would feel the effects of traumatic stress. I'd just sit with it until the impulse passed.

It was very scary though, to feel such impulses though, after previously never having had anything like that or even knowing what it was or why? I tried to remind myself that it was due to the trauma. Sometimes I'd forget though.

 

[black_dove]

I've done this. I've engaged in more "typical" forms of self-mutilation, via cutting, but I have also punched myself, pulled out my hair, or hit myself with objects, all hard enough to cause bruising. I didn't really think about it, it was very paroxysmal. Only afterward did I feel shame, and the thought: "Wow, that can't be normal." I do believe all forms of this can be connected to trauma. I would cut myself for many different reasons, but self-loathing was top on the list. I have gotten much better with the cutting but still sometimes relapse with it. You're definitely not alone!

 

[Heather]

When I was in high school I would take a pot and hit my knee with it. One time I did it so hard it was all bruised. I would do this quite a lot.

I would also sit at the top of the attic steps and contemplate throwing myself down (I never did).

Another time I had a pan of boiling water and was emptying it into the sink, I came so close to scalding myself.

 

[Reclusive]

I used to get strong urges to throw myself against the shower wall, or the bedroom wall, and bang my head hard against the wall when I would feel the effects of traumatic stress. I'd just sit with it until the impulse passed.

It was very scary though, to feel such impulses though, after previously never having had anything like that or even knowing what it was or why? I tried to remind myself that it was due to the trauma. Sometimes I'd forget though.

Wow, I thought I was the only one. I don't know where it comes from, but sometimes I just want to throw myself at the walls - hoping to splat like a bug, I imagine. It's harder to control when a wall is close to me, but like you, I just sit still until it passes.

 

[Philippa]

I thought I was the only one too. So I guess that means we're not the only ones...and yes, 'splatting' is a good way to describe it!:)

Maybe there are loads of people who do this out there? I'd be interested to know, because it just felt like such an odd and weird thing to want to do, I would never have guessed someone else does it to.

I haven't had that impulse in a few years now, so I think it is something that passes...thankfully.

Feeling a little more human and normal everytime I visit this forum.

 

[Reclusive]

:D Me too re: human and normal. My t and my fiance both looked at me like I was nuts when I told them. And it's not a banging my head against the wall, it's a whole body splat - like a bug on a windshield! It's nice not to be alone.