Urge To Cut Is Back

[aditi]

There really isn't such a thing as self-hate, only the internalisation of the hatred your abusers showed towards you. If you feel you hate yourself, you really don't know jack about how you actually feel about yourself. You're only emotionally repeating the sh*t others have taught you. It makes you become your abusers tool in a continued effort to act out their own learned hatred on someone else but themselfs

I'd never thought of it that way before. That's helped me to have a shift in my thinking, thank you freakofnurture.

Heather, I hope you're feeling a bit better than you did on Wednesday.

 

[Brontie]

Heather, when you feel low it’s easy to imagine no one cares. But your posts are being replied to. I don’t leave a reply every time but I do read your posts. And I love it when you are doing okay. And I try to think of something helpful when you’re not.

Keep working to get well, take care of you.

(((Hug)))

 

[OKRADLAK]

Let that little implanted f*cker kick and scream all it wants,

LOL I hate those implanted little f*ckers, too!

 

[OKRADLAK]

Are you feeling better, Heather?

Also, Vitamin can sometimes help to heal the wounds. And certain honeys like Manuka can heal, too!

 

[freakofnurture]

I'd never thought of it that way before. That's helped me to have a shift in my thinking, thank you freakofnurture.

You're welcome :) I felt so much relieve when I finally got my head around what self-hatred actually is. It's still not easy to deal with it, but it helps me a lot in distancing myself from it and not acting on it. Maybe one day it will go away altogether, but let's not get too excited here, hehe.

 

[Heather]

when you feel low it’s easy to imagine no one cares. But your posts are being replied to. I don’t leave a reply every time but I do read your posts.

Thanks, Brontie. I think I have paranoia brain. I'm just going through an unimaginably rough time right now I feel my body shaking inside. I goto type and my fingers are literally shaking. All I do is cry. My depression is sooo bad.

I did find one thing that helps a bit and that is listening to music:). It helps to calm my frazzled nerves. I've been listening A LOT.

Thanks to everyone -- I love you all.

 

[freakofnurture]

All I do is cry. My depression is sooo bad.

This really makes me want to beat the crap out of everyone who ever did so much as giving you a disapproving look. You don't deserve to feel so bad and I hope you come out the other side better than you went in.

 

[Heather]

This really makes me want to beat the crap out of everyone who ever did so much as giving you a disapproving look. You don't deserve to feel so bad

Thank you sooo much nurture. That is the BEST thing anyone has ever said to me. I've got a list of names on the SSA site that you can start with:). I LOVE YOU ALL SOO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT. My therapist too he's been a godsend this past week. I think I want to get a dog. A big huge one. Only requirement: must like cats. 'Cause if he eats cocoa I'd be very sad. I think I'm rambling.....

Thanks again Nurture.....You've made me smile. This and imagining my therapist in a Superman cape there hasn't been too much to smile about this week.

 

[OKRADLAK]

Thank you sooo much nurture. That is the BEST thing anyone has ever said to me.

I love this! I felt the same way when she posted this:

"This really makes me want to beat the crap out of everyone who ever did so much as giving you a disapproving look. You don't deserve to feel so bad"

A huge feeling of "What awesome loyalty and friendship!!"

.......you have to have PTSD to understand.:D

 

[Heather]

.......you have to have PTSD to understand.:D

Yes, you must definitely do!

 

[Brontie]

Thanks, Brontie. I think I have paranoia brain. I'm just going through an unimaginably rough time right now I feel my body shaking inside. I goto type and my fingers are literally shaking. All I do is cry. My depression is sooo bad.

I did find one thing that helps a bit and that is listening to music:). It helps to calm my frazzled nerves. I've been listening A LOT.

Thanks to everyone -- I love you all.

I see paranoia as a heightened sense of awareness and sometimes quite useful.

There is some lovely relaxing music out there.

Take care.

 

[freakofnurture]

I've got a list of names on the SSA site that you can start with.

*deep growling voice* Give me that list. I will end them! *coffcoff* :D

Hey, we should organise The Guerillero Survivers of Violent Trauma. GSVT - read like 'Guess what'. We find and beat up each other's abusers. That should be a fun hobby and very educational.