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Ptsd And Religion/ Spirituality

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Big hugs (((((Movin'On)))). I hope you are okay, panic attacks are so horrible. Breathe. You are okay, you are safe.

Religion is such a hard and triggering issue for so many. I have so many issues with religion, God, suffering, feeling neglected/abandoned by God. I coud go on and on, but I won't.
 
Something came to me, that I do recall.

My mom used to help Mother Teresa'a nuns they have here in our city (Roman Catholic), she met her actually. Anyway, her Sisters (nuns) came to visit my mom when she was dying in the Hospital. My mom was at that time, very child-like but 'all there'; I had seen the same with my dad, a little less-so but for a day or 2 before he died. Anyway, they work all over the world caring for the poorest of the poor, and the ill and dying (like Mother Teresa was known for in Calcutta, especially). Well they said how my mom was, in all their years they had seen it only once- a mother and a daughter in India, I believe. They said, "You know, that's because she's not 'here'; she is in Heaven already, (but) God has allowed her to be part here as well as there, for you", (and that they had seen it only the one time). They are nuns yes, but very practical though, and pragmatical. So for that I felt pretty thankful, that (if you go by what they said, and almost-never seeing that), God would do that.

I thought it was just the 'norm', after seeing my dad.
 
I am not religious anymore. I used to be. I believe in god and believe that it is form of true love. That's all. I don't need anything between me and god. I can send message, prayers to god. Many times I have been angry on god, but in return I think I am never harmed. Something to do with love. Mysterious Yes... In many ways.

I find religion thing very limiting and triggering to fears.
 
I am a man of faith, not religion. I believe religions, being man made, are inherently flawed. How can something created by man, not be flawed. The older the religion, the more flawed it is I believe. The greater and more ornate the church buildings, the more flawed it is I believe.

I do, or at least used to when I could, go to church to be around others of faith. To be inspired by others of faith. I am also a Christian. I also borrow from other religions. The patience, love, and understanding parts, not the excuses for poor behavior parts. I worship only one god, the god of Abraham, Moses, the Father of Jesus.

As the OP stated, there is far more to this universe than our puny minds can even begin to comprehend. This is where faith comes in. I have faith that no matter what happens to me, good or bad, that when I die, I will meet my maker and be judged by him. It is not how others have treated me that matters, it is how I have treated others that matters. Even those who have done me harm. This is where I am currently stuck... the forgiveness part. I can forgive, but after a while the hate returns and I have to work on forgiving again. It's not a one time fits all thing unfortunately. Maybe some day it will stick.

I am very understanding of people of other faiths. I even try to be kind to people of faiths that are antagonistic to mine IE. satanist and such. How can I demonstrate my faith in good standing if I am hateful to them? Love will conquer a hardened heart, not more hate.

One thing I tell myself when I am down is - "If Jesus can love me, who am I to contradict him"? I try to love myself as well. This is very challenging at times, but made easier by what I just said. I try to apply this to everyone I meet as well. If Jesus loves them, who am I to contradict him.

I've rambled on long enough. Another sleepless night.
 
I have not read all the posts here and will say that while this has been put under the PTSD banner, if the discussion turns into a thread about religion only and not it's relevance/effect with your PTSD journey it may be moved to News, Politics and Debates.

Thanks
 
I have a problem with churches. Mostly because it is a group of people so I become anxious. I've seen enough hypocrites come out of them, but I guess you can find that anywhere. A teacher that I admired once told me that not going to church doesn't make you a bad person. That it is a place where people come to worship God and share their faith. Keep in mind that my dad acted like he was a good man because he went to church and "found" God. Didn't stop him from being abusive or judgmental.

My priest asked me if I believed that the people of other religions would go to hell for their beliefs. I said no. He was open minded enough to say he believed the same. That it was okay for them to have their own beliefs. He was so refreshing compared to my father.

My priest also helped me through my suicidal moment, and my other issues. I think he knew that I was troubled, even though we only touched on it. He was very supportive. He told me I needed balance, someone to help keep me grounded. I think I found that in my spouse.
 
I have been a person with strong faith most of my life. However, I learned that Christianity didn't make rational sense anymore. Through the years, I became more skeptical because academics is an interest of mine. It was very traumatizing being in a state of confusion when I had to come to grip that Jesus, the religious figure I had revered and had spiritual stability with for 21 years, could easily be debunked by historical facts. I had two choices. First, maintain faith or second, live rationally. I still seek refuge in God, but It can only be experienced in love and openness. I'm an atheist and I believe that the universe is beautiful and divine. I believe that I do have a purpose and Providence will keep me completely whole.
 
Oops, I'm sorry, I guess I didn't personally connect religion/ spirituality with ptsd in my post. I would say, I find all of it seamless. For me, my Higher Power I would call God, and for me that's a reality there from the start to long after I'll be gone. In terms of my own life, which is the only one I can speak on, or have any experience in, it has ptsd-infused into or through it. But just as similarly- or perhaps even more so- are bigger realities for me such as God, and what He's doing. He knows, I don't, but I don't expect to have that knowledge, or knowledge of the future, or capacity to be God. I'm just a person, one of billions at that. But I could easier (for me) remove the spots from a leopard than see a distinction where I, ptsd, church, religion, God, or any part of my life begins or ends.

I do think when it comes to ptsd struggles (and including forgiving others), God suffered more. I have an example of how He chose to respond.

He pulled me off a lot of ledges, ptsd-complications told me to choose otherwise.

I guess I count on God. Maybe I need to because I'm weak, but I am, so that's ok too. My ptsd is an uphill battle. Maybe with God's help I'll make it through. For me, God is a Heart Specialist. And after all this time with ptsd, I think that's the area that gets battered the worst.
 
Yes, I was always a Science Major. Oddly enough, I never saw it as there being a discord- it always seemed (each one, science and spirituality) supported the other.

I was just going to add, as far as ptsd and spirituality and seamlessness goes, I feel like an example of a most broken person, yet totally integrated. It's hard to explain how both could co-exist, I myself can't explain why they aren't mutually exclusive when they're opposites.
 
My mindfulness meditation is used to help anxiety attacks and depression. Being present (mindful) can prevent flashbacks. The more I study Buddhism, the more I am able to use my tools. Buddhism teaches compassion for self and others so I have learned (almost) to be gentle with myself. Good stuff.
 
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