Asking For Help Seems Too Difficult

[saffy]

Suffice it to say, now that I am getting better, I don't want this person in my life anymore and told her so/why.

Hi Ayasha

I think that is all part of the learning. Recognising that certain traits are now not what you respect or want around you.

With people like that I think I attract them because I was not strong and they needed someone weak to feed off. In fact I have a 'friend' at the moment who I realise now is so self absorbed and egotistical that all her show of bezzy friends was always only on her terms and had to be about her all the time. She has a way off trying to manipulate you into helping her for nothing or focusing on her. Before I was oh god she needs some help and support. No she doesn't she just likes everything to be about her and try to get people running round after her is her way of control. Now I do not fall for her 'hints' and am not such a soft touch/doormat anymore :)

Best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[Britt.f7]

Let's put it this way, I saw my therapist last Wednesday. When I was leaving, and we realized I didn't have an appointment for the next week because she was completely filled for that day, she told me to call her if I was having any problems at all. I said, okay. Then she said, "who am I kidding, you won't do that". She knows me pretty well. But I vowed to try.

Then the Friday after Thanksgiving I was in a really dark space. I knew that it was due to transitioning from one med to another, so I called the NP at the same clinic. It was 11a.m.. The message I got didn't say that they were closed, they said if it was normal business hours to leave a message and they would call back. Know when I finally got a call? Monday. Thankfully I got through that very bleak time without hurting myself. Later that evening, I could have called their answering service, but, for what I hope to be obvious reasons here, I did not. Calling once was difficult enough.

I did mention it to the NP on Monday via phone, but I am going to talk to him again on Friday when I see him in office. I do not want him to apologize. I do, however, want to stress how important it is for that to never happen again. If it happened to me it happened to others. I will, also, tell my therapist about it when I see her. It's important for her to know I did reach out and what happened(or didn't) when I did call. That clinic needs to get it's act together.

BTW, the pills must be helping, or it's the full moon, because this is so not normal for me.

 

[Ayasha]

Britt,
I am very sorry that happened to you but I think it's great that you still reached out to others. And even better that you kept yourself going through such a hard time.

And as an update I did meet with my counselor today and it helped a lot.

Thank you all so much for such great advice and sharing your own experiences.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am sorry I am late to this. I never asked people for help. I did not want to impose on anyone because I had been so imposed on in my growing up years and even after I was imposed on.

But I have learned to ask for help. I am getting better at it. I do not take advantage of others. I try to be reasonable in my requests.

But it is nice to ask for help and to get it. It is a big change for me. It has made a differernce in my life.

 

[saffy]

It's important for her to know I did reach out

Well Done BrittF7, that is a positive step forward. You might not have got the desired result at that time but you at least acted on it.

It is so frustrating though that they have not got the after care up to scratch or should have least warned you of the process and that sometimes you will not get an immediate answer. Also, what you can do if not. I can imaging you spent a lot of time being wound up and disappointed about it in the end (which in a way might have took some of the focus away from the darkness?). I would have triggered from it too though, as this would just exacerbate my irrational thoughts that nobody was there and I was not worth helping.

I hope things get sorted for you. You are doing the right thing talking to them both about it.

Best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[Britt.f7]

I hope things get sorted for you. You are doing the right thing talking to them both about it.

Thank you Saffy. I'm meeting up with the NP today. I practiced in my head what I will say to him in an assertive way. However, right now, I'm hoping not to back out.

The NP did say it is not suppose to work that way. I'm not sure if he spoke with the secretary or not. Hopefully they get things in order. That was really bad timing on their part.

Best wishes to you too! :)

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Wishing you good luck today Britt. I hope you are able to take care of everything. Be strong and grounded. You can do this. Hugs.

 

[Britt.f7]

I was tentative in bringing it up, but I did ask him if he talked to the receptionist about last Friday. Can you believe he forgot. He thanked me for reminding him. I told him I realize I could have called his answering service but, it was difficult for me to reach out to begin with. I wasn't going to try it again.

I know he is busy running between clinics but I was bothered a bit that he didn't remember. Though, you know, I kind of expected it.

Well I made it. Whew. :O_o: Thank you Gizmo! :hug:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I believe in you. You are welcome. :hug: