Sufferer Desperately Seeking Help, Anyone?

[Cufflinks]

Haven't been a member for more than 2 days, but it almost feels like a little of the weight off my shoulders.

Welcome to the forum.

It's an amazing place to let of steam and get advice. Usually helpful, always meant well and always honest!

 

[Tribulations]

I couldn't agree more, and thanks Cufflinks. It really is nice to be able to communicate with people who understand and can relate.

 

[Whitneys story]

Tribulations, Welcome to the PTSD Forum. I am sorry for why you are here, but so glad you have found this site! Hugs if you accept them, Whitney

 

[Pencil]

My issues with therapists and the like are pretty deep, and there is still a lot of hurt from that.

Oh, please do tell. I'm dying to tell my horror stories with therapists, but the majority of people on here seem to have had mainly good experiences and I am hesitant to be a drag. In any case, just know you're not alone when it comes to traumatizing therapy :eek:

 

[Tribulations]

Thank you Whitney, hugs back, I appreciate it.

Pencil: It is not just therapists, but treatment staff, psychologists, and officers/judges. It's a really long story that spans years. None of the authority figures believed that the abuse was happening, as the abuse was from the staff. I was young (I am also quite petite) and I don't think I really could defend myself the way I wanted or needed to. I was restrained in 5 points, and they hurt me, repeatedly. I don't remember exactly how long but I know it was for a span of at least 7 months. I was left in my waste, and vomit for days, wasn't fed, restrained, abused, and alone. This happened more than once, and to this day I cannot wear watches or have someone hold my wrists, ankles or waist. There is more to the story but that part of the story is pretty significant to me.

I think this place has proved to me that it is a safe place, where I can share. So I figure if I am going to get anywhere I better start sharing more. Thanks Pecil for helping me realize that. I was going to see if there were therapists who do online sessions versus face to face. I know to some that might sound nuts but for me I think it would be loads of help. Every little bit counts right?

 

[Tribulations]

That was a lot harder to share than I thought it would. I kept bouncing back and forth about it, but I think or maybe hope that it will help to share.

 

[Pencil]

I think this place has proved to me that it is a safe place, where I can share.

Right.

Every little bit counts right?

Right again. :)

 

[Pencil]

That was a lot harder to share than I thought it would. I kept bouncing back and forth about it, but I think or maybe hope that it will help to share.

Tribulations, if it weren't for this forum I would have strangled my last therapist. Here I could vent and get support to get through the anger and shock. Safenow even let me wipe my nose on her shirt. :D And then she told me to quit whining and get out of the house to look at flowers, or smell the leaves or something.

Everyone on here has had heaps of crap. You're not alone, and sharing helps, believe me.

 

[Pencil]

It's a really long story that spans years.

I was left in my waste, and vomit for days, wasn't fed, restrained, abused, and alone.

But having said the above, I have to say that your experiences sound horrific, but you will get a lot of support when you need to share.

 

[Abstract]

he abuse was from the staff. I was young (I am also quite petite) and I don't think I really could defend myself the way I wanted or needed to. I was restrained in 5 points, and they hurt me, repeatedly. I don't remember exactly how long but I know it was for a span of at least 7 months. I was left in my waste, and vomit for days, wasn't fed, restrained, abused, and alone.

Tribulations,
I am sorry about all the other abuse and trauma and very sorry that those that should have helped you and protected you abused your trust in this way and when so young.

I can only imagine what that must do and how deep it must go. There is something very powerful about the professional -client/patient relationship. What they did was very wrong and you are strong to continue getting help and pushing through.

 

[Tribulations]

Thank you Pencil and Abstract, I actually shed some tears of relief reading your posts. I don't usually talk about these things, especially that incident. It was hard but I feel a little more at peace with myself being able to share it with people who care and understand.

It is very hard to trust a therapist for me, since therapist and others didn't believe me. Just like they didn't believe the abuse at home, until the whole thing blew up on the news. I guess for me it's hard to trust someone with your deepest emotions and thoughts, when they don't even believe or see what is happening right in front of them. That place got shut down years ago because of cases like mine but the scars they left with me were already long done by that time. My only comfort in that is no other children will be hurt and some got justice. When I went there I was already scarred and abused, they were supposed to help me not make it worse. So you can see how this poses a problem....

Like I said I am going to look into therapists that do therapy through video conference or something similar. I think that would help me learn to trust again. It's very hard to come out of this shell, but I am trying my best. I wish I was comfortable going outside. Unfortunately the area we live in isn't the safest and there is tension with our upstair neighbors. *sigh* baby steps.

On a brighter note, yesterday wasn't too bad. Today is starting out okay, a couple rough patches but okay.

 

[Whitneys story]

Tribulations, Wow... Might I recommend when you have a chance, the article on the Home page about "Emptying the Cup".

New member rules are here to protect every one. There are Trauma Diaries for you to use as well. We are a good mix of people.

It is your journey, some may choose not to read it. Within the rules you will find we are allowed to write it. This is a place for healing! Let it out when you are ready. Someone is here 24/7.

The best experience is sharing with those who can relate. Therapists have their place in the healing however many can not relate to the experience. Don't forget to breath.

:) ((((((((((((Tribulations)))))))))))) Whitney