And On To The Next...

[samson]

I'm somewhat discouraged by the ups and downs nature of therapy. We work really hard to progress through trauma work only to be met nearly immediately by the next thing that your brain wants you to fix. On one hand it's encouraging that your brain wants to continue to heal, on the other hand, it's exhausting. Why can't we just leave well enough alone? :)

I've just had great breakthrough with a trauma I've been working on with emdr for nearly a solid year now. It has completely disappeared from any intrusive thoughts or nightmares. That is such a relief. However, there are several other traumas in line to be processed.

My therapist says this will go faster now because my brain has learned how to do this. I hope that's true and I do trust him.

Anyone know what I'm saying?

 

[Sick of Fear]

I quit therapy a long time ago and have been "dealing" with my symptoms via medication and self loathing. After reading your post though, I think I may give it another try. Congrats on your progress, that is so wonderful and inspiring! I'm confident that you will overcome the next steps, good for you!

 

[maddog]

Oh yes, the endlessness of it all can feel soul-destroying at times. And the sad irony of therapy is that one of the markers of progress does indeed seem to be the discovery of deeper layers of gore that you didn't even know were there...

It's hard when your therapist seems so enthusiastic about your ongoing suffering, I know that.

But there's no denying that progress is progress, and that each step forward, even though for now it might be onto another painful place, is a step closer to the less painful place on the other side. We have to keep telling ourselves that, especially through the times when we don't believe it.

Hang in there.

Maddog

 

[LhasaLover]

It's inspiring to here that you made so much progress with EMDR. I've been making so much progress with traditional psychotherapy, but I did have an EMDR session with another therapist. Bottom line is that it stirs up a lot of stuff when you are working hard and it can be very tiring! The alternative, to suffer with PTSD is worse. It sounds like you are on a really positive path... just remember to take very good care of yourself in the process. I am having a problem with intrusive thoughts right now. I so relate to your post. After an super enlightening therapy session, here I am the next day, anxious and stressed. I try to look at it as stretching or training a muscle... the more we do it, the easier it gets...!!! Hang tough!

 

[samson]

Sick of Fear - I encourage you to return to therapy. If you want. I have tried to fix myself over the years and have now discovered that I didn't really even know what the problem was. I would have never understood without the help of a therapist.

Thanks to all of you for your encouragement. I have turned a corner where I actually want to work on things because I now know that it's working. I'm starting to feel whole again. Those parts of myself that I had cut off are coming back.

 

[LhasaLover]

I've been really curious as of late about EMDR, I'm so happy to hear about your progress.... Just keep it up! It's really inspiring to hear you feeling more together. I a realizing the PTSD is just still quite acute with me and the symptoms drive me up a wall. Other than people on this board, not many people have a clue about PTSD. I have to agree, Sick of Fear, an experience therapist can be a godsend. I honestly have discovered a lot of things by myself, but only with the help of my therapist. It's like trying to navigate yourself out of a dark room with hidden doors....

 

[Sick of Fear]

Thank you both for the encouragement. I guess I am weary of therapy because I had a great Therapist (T) in the Navy, she helped me a lot. Then I got out, and well not so much luck with the Veterans Affairs (VA). I was seeing a T there, and then she retired, now I'm told there's a six month waiting list. Something's got to give though I'm sure of it. Best wishes to you all, keep up the amazing work!

 

[LhasaLover]

Sick of Fear, it's difficult, I hear you getting a good therapist for a great amount of time. I'm paying out of pocket and can go when I can go. I also go to therapy with a family member and that therapist understands PTSD but I really do find I benefit a great deal with my own therapist. I'm looking forward to getting a job with insurance so I can see her regularly again. In the meantime, you can participate in this forum and support groups, read and do so much... I'm crossing my fingers for you that you get a great therapist real soon.

 

[EarthToSamantha]

I've always been curious about EMDR and it's nice to hear that someone is getting results from it. My therapist mentioned it to me less than a year into treatment--which was also less than a year since the initial trauma, so the thought of it scared me to death! It was always described to me as taking a only a few sessions, but it's interesting to learn that its a much, much longer process! I'll have to keep that in mind! Anywho, congratulations on your progress, it's very encouraging to hear! Good luck with your future sessions!!! :)

Sick of Fear, I hope you're able to find someone soon! Hang in there!

LhasaLover, I, too have had to pay out of pocket for my counseling just because my insurance refuses to cover it. It's such a pain! I wish you the best of luck in your continuing treatment!

 

[therapybankrupt]

Hi Samson! Experience with the EMDR is exhausting and sometimes feels like it will never end. The therapist told me if I had an operation every week I would need time to recover. Just cause you can't see the wounds you have re-opened them. So be kind to yourself and do what you need to get through. Why? Because you are making great progress doing the hardest work reprocessing the trauma. Think how many years you have been suffering? How long does your Therapist project the treatment? Look at those numbers side by side. You are on your way.:tup:

 

[piratelady]

I, too have had to pay out of pocket for my counseling just because my insurance refuses to cover it.!

My insurance has always covered my therapy, however, starting with the 2013 calendar year, my benefits were much better. When I asked why they started providing better mental health coverage, I was told it was because of changes to the laws. Maybe check to see if your benefits changed with the new year?

 

[samson]

Earth to Samantha,
emdr can only take a few sessions. It just depends on how many traumas you are processing. A single trauma may be processed in 3 - 6 sessions.

Therapy bankrupt, thanks so much for your encouragement. My T can't really tell me how many sessions we will have. I understand why - things just keep coming up and I'm pretty dissociated so he has been really taking his time.