Attachment Issues

['91 Girl]

I think for me, the biggest issue I have is that I don't like my EP's (I'm fairly certain there are at least a few) if I can be honest. They are difficult and messy and needy. And I don't like that! I am my ANP, at least in my mind, and I would love to be rid of all those difficult emotions. I don't know how to accept or be those EPs.

I hope I am making sense...

 

[Pencil]

I hope I am making sense...

You are making sense. Have you talked to your therapist about this?

 

['91 Girl]

No...not yet...I am certain she'll say something along the lines of me needing to accept all parts of me. Or something like that.

 

[Springer80]

I guess she is looking for surrogate mommies

Exactly,

I've felt like that, more so for a 'surrogate father' but after a little investigation I realized what I wanted was the ideal of patriarchal and matriarchal love and everybody wants that (people who didn't get it are aware, people who did aren't and don't need it), so whats to fix?

 

[Pencil]

so whats to fix?

I don't understand

 

[piratelady]

Complications of reactive attachment disorder

Thank you. I edited your post to make it more clear.

 

[Pencil]

(people who didn't get it are aware, people who did aren't and don't need it)

And those who did and aren't and don't need, just love to tell those who didn't and are to hug pets, and fill me with murderous intent.

 

[Pencil]

me needing to accept all parts of me.

It's a lot more complicated than that. If you are interested I could post you an article or two. But I'm sure you've seen my links to some or one of them.

 

[Pencil]

I do not feel a phobia but a defense mechanism and a very tricky one

Yes, 'they' call it a phobia, and although there is a lot of fear there, there are also other emotions. I just know that I can't approach.

 

['91 Girl]

I have seen a few on a few different threads. If you post them, I will reread them, and see what I can learn :)

 

[Pencil]

Here's one, Girl:

http://www.trauma-pages.com/a/nijenhuis-2004.php

 

[Pencil]

attempt to resolve these things inside of an adult relationship (ie. where sex/intimacy is involved, sex can be very healing with the right person)

I just realized that this is one of the reasons I decided against a relationship: with a frozen 4 year old who doesn't speak somewhere in the mix, sex is just plain dangerous. And its weird how intuitive that decision was 10 years ago. I've become acutely and consciously aware of the EPs only in the last year, and it was this awareness that made me go down the rabbit hole .

The first two I auto drew in a dissociative state (I've included them on this thread for context), the third I couldn't articulate at all not even visually, so I just made a representation of that from feel

Would you be willing to say more about it?