Am I Any Less Of A Person For Not Working?

[Cerulean Synapse]

Hey I am on SSDI for my mental illnesses of DID, PTSD and MDD. I was on the ticket to work program and worked with my employment agency until I had a relapse, but sometimes I feel guilty because I am not working and everyone else is. All I do is concentrate on my art and just try to work on my recovery without relapsing again. But I feel so guilty that all these people have to work and I don't. It's not like I sit on my butt. I earned SSDI through working.

But then there is my father and he is a negative influence in my life and there are a few others and I hate how they pressure me to work. I have gotten jobs before by the bureau of rehabilitation services. It's just I am not working now. And all my friends and family are. What do you say to that? I am self sufficient.

 

[JustBe]

Absolutely Not! I felt the same way and made myself sicker by stressing over it and looking for work, trying to apply for jobs etc.

My Therapist finally told me to delete the job search websites and to Stop looking for work if I wanted to heal. I now have my family's support in this decision, but it took awhile for me to accept.

Now I am doing much better. I hope you are too.

 

[Nicolette]

Anthony doesn't work - doesn't make him a lesser of a person. I do believe that if you are not working however investing in your own welfare for self improvement is 'your job' and not a reason to sit back even if self sufficient.

All I do is concentrate on my art and just try to work on my recovery without relapsing again.

Sounds like a good starting point.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

In a word, no.

I'm on SSDI as well, so I know your feelings of guilt. However, I am going to school so I am working on healing. (For me, school is the ultimate stressor, more so than working, so yes, it is helping me to learn how to cope. My work activity is restricted but my school activity is not. So I do what I can to get back to my former functioning level.)

It's hard, but try not to feel guilty. You earned that SSDI. Just because everyone else defines themselves (and everyone else) by what they do for work doesn't mean you have to. It's hard to break away from this way of thinking, but if we don't do it we'll drive ourselves crazy.

 

[Jlso111187]

No, you are not. I dont have a job either. I was going to school for a while and plan to go back next semester but I had to take a semester off because I kept getting triggered that lead to bad depression. Take things day by day and keep working on your recovery. Your mental health is more improtant than anything. Take care.

 

[maddog]

Absolutely not, though I am very familiar with all of the negative self talk that tries to convince you that you are.

I do believe that we need to find what gives our lives meaning and purpose, and to strive to pull towards those things. But whether that is work, or art, or healing, or anything else, is an individual issue, and a key part of figuring out who you are and where you belong in this world.

Very few people choose to receive welfare payments for no good reason, and most feel some level of guilt when they do. But those who do receive it for a reason, and sometimes I think we need to try to let it be ok for life to cut us a break sometimes. Life has taken a lot - sometimes it's ok to let life give a bit back.

Maddog

 

[discarded]

Of course you are not less of a person, and you are working, at getting better. It is such a shame that people feel the need to judge and comment. It used to get up my nose when people asked what I did and I would say I was a stay at home mum, "so you don't work", was often the response. Yes I worked, on call 24 hours a day, no holidays, no public holidays off and absolutely no pay.

 

[madmax]

Nicolette "hit the nail on the head".

 

[nimkekaa]

I too struggle with feelings of self worth since I started receiving disabilty income last October. I tell myself that I owe it to myself and my family to get well so that I can be there for them in a healthy way. I also think that if it bothers me so much to be not working then I know that someday I will go back to work.

I feel that it's only the people that want free money and feel that they deserve to have money given to them that won't make the effort to go back to work.

I am trying very hard to see that with everything that I have been through that I deserve the time to heal and that this is only for a short time in my life in the grand scheme of things. I also don't feel that my hubby and children deserve to suffer financially because of the abuse that I suffered in my life.

I don't know if this helps you any, but I understand how you feel and I think the solution is talking yourself through the negative feelings. I know that if I was to look at my situation as if it was a friend of mine then I would say my friend absolutly shouldn't feel guilty about getting some financial support to work on her healing. I wonder why I am so much harder on myself?

 

[JustBe]

I think we are our own harshest critics. It is something I am working on. My Therapist says I must work on really believing that I deserve this time to heal without the added stress of work. That this is my work and that I have been putting it off for so long that it made me physically ill.

 

[Aribear]

I used to feel the same way about not working, then I remembered what working was like for me. I could only handle 3 hours at a time, and it gave me so much anxiety and stress that I would practically sleep and need quiet the rest of the day just to recover from working.

Honestly, not working has made me a better person and given me a chance to use my energy to work on myself and what I need. I just had to shift my mentality from "work/career centered" to "life centered."

I know that if I was to look at my situation as if it was a friend of mine then I would say my friend absolutly shouldn't feel guilty about getting some financial support to work on her healing. I wonder why I am so much harder on myself?

A friend actually pointed that out to me. She wasn't working for health reasons and asked what I thought about that. Of course, I thought it was more than fine, and she pointed out that it was the same thing for me.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Everyone has said such true and wonderful things. I think that the big part of your feelings is the pressures being put on you to work.

I worked occasionally and was a stay at home mom. I was lucky because my ptsd was so severe for so many years and I could not work if I wanted to.

I do not think you are lesser than a person who works. Your recovery and getting stabalized are your priorities now.
Healing is your job. Screw guilt. You deserve to be gentle on yourself and give yourself a break from worrying about this.

For a time I too struggled about not working. I felt bad about myself. My self esteem was very low.

But eventually I grew out of that and began to feel better. I hope that you will soon feel better and be at peace about your decision. It is your life and no one has the right to pressure you into feeling bad about yourself. I wish you the best. Just my opinion.