Eliminating Exposure To Ptsd For Others' Sake?

[Tinyflame]

PS, the ptsd surfaced almost 25 years before, not with that stuff.

:hug:

 

[Mercy]

Dearest Junebug,
It is good to work through(process) one thing at a time. Since you do not have a T, writing for relatively long periods of time will give you the opportunity to 'hear' yourself out. I found that journaling for short intervals not very useful except as reminders to self of current remembrances. Journaling for longer periods has revealed more about the incident and my feeling about it. I didn't disassociate at all while writing entries. It has been good to reread them too when the same incident comes along again.

{{{{{{{{{{{ pretty loving girl hugs}}}}}}}}}

 

[Whitneys story]

Junebug, in answer to the question of processing trauma, here is an excellent thread from the Self Help section.

I found it very informative and helpful as we each hear, read; and understand with our own perception. Reviewing what has worked for others gives more than one opinion.

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/what-does-processing-trauma-really-mean.27858/

I feel you have processed some of the parts that you listed. I also see some ideas to break down to find where we can work on. :)

I truly believe there are no accidents when it comes to the book landing in front of you. I am so glad it did.

As Mercy said, the more we write and see, we work through the entire situation. Then we have all the emotions to work together.

Which gives us a direction to focus and find a means for you to understand what will work for you.

I understand now about the crisis line! That is why I am so thankful we have the forum. We have many experiences of others to help with real life learning. Hugs, Whitney

 

[Whitneys story]

:D. Sorry one more out to the universe! Please do not feel shame for actions arising in a domestic violent situation. What you did likely saved your lives.

Abusers program their victims into thinking we need them. No one has the right to do this, period. You both survived and past the experience. However since then, I feel it has not been processed. Now we work on changing your thought process that the past learned behavior was wrongly instilled in you by the abuser. A sick one. Abusers brainwash. We learn new behavior that slowly lifts our self esteem by understanding how wrong it is of another to abuse in any manner. ((((((Junebug)))))). You did nothing to be ashamed of. :hug: Whitney

 

[Tinyflame]

Thanks for all and especially for what you said in the last post too Whitney, xox.

((((((((Whitney)))))))), ((((((Mercy)))))), (((((((((Abstract)))))))) :hug:

 

[Whitneys story]

((((((Junebug)))))). You are welcome! Now we work on understanding and rising above the the past brainwashing and work on allowing ourself that we do not deserve the treatment. That we deserve respect. This takes time to replace the unhealthy thoughts with good thoughts. You deserve every minute we can find to move forward and above the old mindset. :) :hug: Whitney

 

[Tinyflame]

Now we work on understanding and rising above the the past brainwashing and work on allowing ourself that we do not deserve the treatment. That we deserve respect.

You deserve every minute we can find to move forward and above the old mindset.

Gee thank you Whitney, for saying that last part. :hug: So very very kind. ((((((((Dear Whitney))))) .

How do I do that Whitney? (Thank you for the 'we', it feels so lonely). I fail miserably at affirmations, cannot really physically bring myself to do them. I guess I should try the one I managed. Also could not do about 75% of the DBT Skills Workbook exercises (I don't have that available right now).

I think it contributes to the terror I feel. Big time.

It was kind of awful, saw a thing on fighting to change a potential new law that stops eunthenasia (called palliative assistance) when including living with mental, physical and/ or emotional pain, could only 'feel' it as an act of kindness if someone would agree to help me with that, that I could get there in 3 hours and probably eventually have it covered with (possibly) public health care. :( Oye. Am trying to not think that way but I couldn't help in my heart of hearts it came up as the truth. :( Made me feel guilty as well. :(

I don't feel that way about others.

It seems too insurmountable but one (I) can try to start with a small step despite not feeling it is possible/ realistic/ could change after everything.

Thank you so much sweet Whitney :inlove: :hug: .

 

[Mercy]

Junebug, Trying small stuff I used to think that I wasn't entitled to the space I took up in a room or the air that I breathed. I had a little of therapy. I don't think that any more. I suffered with for survival guilt for decades. I thought that I had done wrong by surviving when others didn't and that I should join them.

The word survival I couldn't swallow. 'It's natural' 'It is inborn.' I rejected them. Finally, I am in a place of understanding survival as God's means for keeping me alive because He has good works for me to do........merciful works. As the psalms tell us, good works that God as planned for from the beginning of time for us to do.

The first time I experienced any reflection of my goodness came from a meeting. I had a partner who had cerebral palsey unable to speak or move, she could signal with her eyes. At one point, I took a drink of my soda and then looked over at her, saw her eyes were on my soda. So I picked up her soda, held the straw and put it into her mouth. That was a the first time I did a good thing on my own. That was a tiny step but it opened my heart to the idea that I was created for good. Everything else was a lie.

Stay with us, junebug, you are loved here. ((((((((((:inlove::tup::hug:)))))))))

 

[Whitneys story]

We take one, thought and begin processing/focusing on past vs present.

You commented you have one affirmation that you have been able to do. Can you describe it? Can you describe the emotion that you had before and after using it.

Example: you wrote about the palliative law. Past programming is what grabbed you into the thought that 3 hours. Then (and I am so glad) you felt guilt for thinking this way. We know you don't want to think this way.

When the old feelings start surfacing, we find a new thought; I am here now. I am learning to experience that I am a good person. I have opportunities. I am learning to make choices for myself. I am not responsible for the rest of the world. I am taking this time for myself to heal.

I know you are not used to help from others. You have been alone to long. We are forum family:) between a few of us and our experience we share.
Baby steps, patience and understanding we don't give up. :hug:

 

[Whitneys story]

PS, work books can be beneficial, but they don't talk to us. The more journaling we do the more we let out. We need to empty a bucket :) Hugs n more, Whitney

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear Mercy, thank you, I understand. I don't even know why I understand so well, but I do. And that is right, 'small things'. I don't think they are so small for us!!! :hug:

Of course you not only were created for good, but ARE good and ALWAYS were. :inlove: (((((Sweet Mercy))))))

Thank you too for saying about the 'staying with us'. That means a lot. (((((( Dear Mercy, xox )))))))

 

[Tinyflame]

Oh gosh, Dear Whitney, typed a bunch and it disappeared. :( I will try again.

The only affirnation (situation specific) was "you did nothing wrog". I felt/ feel better, kind of awestruck as different info, no shame.

Your ideas for new thoughts (your examples) are very good ones. Because I think too they are positive, require a different perspective, make note of what is not in (my) control, give permission to give yourself the time/ 'stuff' to heal, etc. They would require a lot on my part to be able to say.

I think the palliative law, well just the temptation that presents out of the blue- feasible, possible, accessible, guaranteed, likely free, potentially reasonably immediate. To stop the suffering (for once and for all), for myself and alongside all this causes. Yes the 'easy' way, but my analogy would be too, like when they say an actor who gets fame is an 'overnight success' after 25 years. :( I did find it ironic, that that would come to me as someone doing an act of kindness for me, whereas anyone who has slugged along, in frustration, and/or exhaustion or patience to help me when it seems fruitless, is not the real true-er kindness. (Well it is, I mean.)

I am an horrendous journaler, no desire or ability to write and a 'blank slate' when I try. I only did once with an old computer (and often to be honest felt 'assinine' after and during the fact for doing so). Neither does there ever seem to be any time for that (apart from the lack of desire). However, I do it in my 'head' or thoughts, the emotion I feel, sometimes just the chronology of something past, try to pick apart why or how it relates to the 'now'. Perhaps that helps? Though I fear just writing (were it so), or sometimes just 'thinking' leaves me slipping further. Of course I've written 'oodles' on here.

Thank you dearest Whitney, xoxox (((((Whitney))))). :hug: :inlove: