Eliminating Exposure To Ptsd For Others' Sake?

[Whitneys story]

;) Junebug, I am glad you found help with the affirmation. We have a good starting point. We need to take it slow and not force the emotions. When you feel you are slipping, remind yourself you are here in the now. Remind yourself you did nothing wrong. You did not ask for the past.

I know you have a full schedule! Would you be able to take 10 min. In the morning and evening to allow yourself a relaxing thought, or music. Or thoughts of nice things you can do for yourself.

Then as you are able, do a nice thing just for you. It does not need to be expensive, watch nature or a sunset. The action will build new thought patterns in a positive direction.

Yes you are writing here. And this is good if you are comfortable. The main purpose is to bring the thoughts out so they do not keep rewinding. You are a survivor and it will take time to feel. We keep trying until you feel the possibilities. :D: :hug: Whitney

 

[Tinyflame]

Aw Whitney, thank you. I can, I will, do the 10 minute thing. (Somehow I expected to be told to do something so much more difficult, or requiring something painful!)

I do realize that everyone has stuff to go through. A friend pointed out, in retrospect, it's true, this 're-living' is like having these things happen over and over. No small wonder we feel as we do.

((((Sweet sweet Whitney)))))))

 

[Tinyflame]

When you feel you are slipping, remind yourself you are here in the now. Remind yourself you did nothing wrong. You did not ask for the past.

It does not need to be expensive, watch nature or a sunset. The action will build new thought patterns in a positive direction.

Yes you are writing here. And this is good if you are comfortable. The main purpose is to bring the thoughts out so they do not keep rewinding. ... We keep trying until you feel the possibilities. :D:

Dear Whitney :hug: :inlove: .

I saw the stars last night, used to watch them, haven't seen them for months, either my clouded view or just been overcast. :)

I'm just afraid writing here someone will google a word like the dog's name and anyone who knows me will see this. OMG. :(

I think affirmations seem impossible if they seem untrue.

But I do better (just over-all) with positive thoughts and words. Perhaps I am naive or childish in that regard. Nonetheless it's true. Like telling a 4-year old it will be ok.

Sweet Whitney you are an angel. :inlove: :hug:

 

[Whitneys story]

Dear Whitney :hug: :inlove: .

I saw the stars last night, used to watch them, haven't seen them for months, either my clouded view or just been overcast. :)

I'm just afraid writing here someone will google a word like the dog's name and anyone who knows me will see this. OMG. :(

I so get the part of the dogs name. We are on the Internet! Rather than worrying about the unknown we have options.

You could check your preferences, there is a list of items that can be checked "members only" are able to read your posts in several places. OR

You could start a diary in the members section.

OR you could do a PC and invite Mercy, Abstract, and myself and others you choose too! The only people that can read are Staff, ie: Anthony and Nicolette.

:eek: My comment under my avatar used to say toolbag will travel! Imagine my shock when my dearest friend (in a public meeting involving our volunteer work and the mental health services) said to me; that is one more thing to put in your toolbag, referencing some new info. OMG! ;) most likely a coincidence. :hug: Whitney

 

[Whitneys story]

"When you are guided by compassion and loving kindness, you are able to look deeply into the heart of reality and see the truth."~Thich Nhat Hanh

Junebug, You have experienced far to much pain at the hand of others. You have had nothing to compare to, numb from past; I am so happy you saw the stars. It takes days for some to look! :hug: 's and more, Whitney

 

[Tinyflame]

Aw Whitney, thank you for your beautiful quote :inlove: :hug: ((((((Sweet sweet Whitney)))))))) .

I did not even think of/ know those options! Yes! :) :tup: Oh God, funny with the 'tools'. :roflmao: :laugh:

I guess that is true, I really haven't had history to contrast it to, life-time speaking.

((((((Dearest Whitney))))))) .

Gemima, I didn't know I wrote that but yes. There were times past I wish I just had had a locked door I could go behind, a place for one night or a few hours that wasn't public. :( I am sorry for what you've been through but hope things are slowly getting peaceful. Welcome to the forum. :hug:

 

[Tinyflame]

You know, I don't think a lot of what really incapacitated me, was because of ptsd directly. Either that or I am (in a tiny way?) learning to manage the ptsd better. I think it was really the 'perfect storm' of a lot of things, the ptsd/ avoidance etc being there all the while as well. It was/is/has been much at once.

 

[Tinyflame]

Well, actually, the grief and stuff, that came from the 'traumas' (still hard to use that word, seems ridiculous, or something) that caused the ptsd, has contributed a lot. So I guess that 'is' back to the ptsd.

I think a big part of me shuts down when I am at my worst (not intentional).

 

[Whitneys story]

Well, actually, the grief and stuff, that came from the 'traumas' (still hard to use that word, seems ridiculous, or something) that caused the ptsd, has contributed a lot

Question, is it the word trauma itself, what you do not associate with the horrific events. As in your subconscious has protected you from what you have been through?

Trauma comes in many forms. When it is continually occurring it becomes seperated in our thought patterns. Our mind works to protect us. When it compiles with numerous events, and invalidators pressure with brain washing; our belief is shoved to far depths of our subconscious. Our brain is reprogrammed with what we are now believing. Your minds reactions were to traumatic experience. It is not at all a reason that you do not deserve to heal.

A lifetime of horrific life, being controlled by others won't fix overnight. We take baby steps to move thoughts into positive light.
I hope this makes sense :) :hug: Whitney

 

[Whitneys story]

Shutting down or dissociation is very common. Are you aware of any feelings or emotions that you feel in advance?

I believe there are some writings on the forum for grounding technique. I will see if I can find a link.

I like that you saw the stars! :) It reminds me of the movie American Tale with the little mouse Fivo. Did you ever see it?

 

[Whitneys story]

Junebug, here is a link to a thread on Dissociation.
https://www.myptsd.com/threads/dissociation-101.15027/. :)

Grounding Technique

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/fast-grounding-5-4-3-2-1-game.30079/.

:tup: you are making perfect sense! (((((((((((((((Junebug))))))))))))))

Please remember to do something nice for yourself. :hug: :inlove:

 

[Tinyflame]

is it the word trauma itself, what you do not associate with the horrific events. As in your subconscious has protected you from what you have been through?

Trauma comes in many forms. When it is continually occurring it becomes seperated in our thought patterns. Our mind works to protect us. When it compiles with numerous events, and invalidators pressure with brain washing; our belief is shoved to far depths of our subconscious. Our brain is reprogrammed with what we are now believing. Your minds reactions were to traumatic experience. It is not at all a reason that you do not deserve to heal.

Dear Whitney, thank you as always. At the risk of quoting too much I had to because I hadn't thought of that. Yes, I have no problem with the word 'trauma' but cannot 'believe' or feel anything I went through was traumatic, 'technically'. Even if it 'was', or was abusive or a criminal act against me, or was horrific or devastating. Yes the message was never to acknowledge it. (I have even a worse time with the actual word 'abuse'). But I really get relief with what they describe about or of 'trauma', I relate. Also, thinking of myself as a child, I was told 14 was a 'little girl', but I didn't feel that at 6 or 8, so 14 seems old. Though I try to believe it, just take their word for it on faith, that it is accurate. Which it is ironic, as I think I 'handled' things better as a child than a current adult. :( I definitely have seperated things I guess in my thoughts, or beliefs, as towards myself. Thus too self-empathy is pretty non-existent.

At least now I can acknowledge something is traumatic or devastating (to me), fairly shortly after or during it's occurence. I try to allow myself to acknowledge it.

Yes I dissociate a bit I think, but usually not severely, though on occassion I have severely. Often I can't remember where I'm supposed to be going, :( , definitely zoom out to pain and body cues, always did mostly I think. By 'shutting down' I mean it doesn't feel like dissociation as much as an inability to talk, try, etc., but its not a 'mental choice', if that makes sense? But I'm 'all there' (well mostly lol). :eek: Thank you for the links, I do do grounding but have not paid attention to what preceeds dissociation, or the 'shutting down' part, because next thing I know it's 'there' (or more accurately I'm not). I only realize after (if I realize at all) that I did. Times it's been necessary. ( A friend here recommended paying attention to that before SI, also- to go back and back and back until the original thought is found.0

Oh yes I forgot, 'something good'. Right now it's a :coffee: lol.

I didn't see American Tale but I looked it up ( :) ) they said it's a mouse that finds his way home by hearing a violin. Well I love the sound of violins, and stars. :) (And it used to be a nickname as a kid.) They said that song Somewhere out There is the 'theme song', I always liked that one. :)

Sweetest Whitney, :hug: :inlove: , guess more baby steps. :)

(((((((Dear dear Whitney)))))), thanks so much! Xox.

You and the others are so dear to try to help me, and to share your wisdom. I am trying to think that the sheer length of time of all of this without addressing it, or help, has not made me hopeless but has just made it more 'complex'. Ugh! :eek: :rolleyes:

And I guess aside from it even being 'possible', I guess I don't feel I have a right to heal, or 'deserve' it, or expect it. Or there should be anything to heal.

:hug: dear Whitney.