DID Ptsd & did or misdiagnosed?

[kitkat225]

I'm new here but I have a few questions.

I was sexually abused as a child, around the age of 11. I have an entire year (freshman year) that I remember pretty much nothing of. Just a few blurbs here or there. My teenage years were rough with a history of self mutilation, suicide attempts, risk taking behaviors, self medication, extreme mood swings & violent outbursts. I was hospitalized twice and was diagnosed with PTSD around 16 I believe. But after 20 I changed, almost into an entirely different person. I became stable, my depression went away. Almost magically it seemed.

I am 27 now and recently my husband committed suicide. He had shot himself and I found him. Soon after I knew something was wrong. I would find myself somewhere I had no recollection of getting too, getting lost going to familiar places, weeks of no memory and almost no emotions, just with occasional flashbacks, night terrors and feeling very "drunk" or dizzy at times except I hadn't drank or taken any kind of medications.

I started seeing a trauma therapist and she diagnosed me with DID....Except I'm not sure if I have DID? I don't feel like I have alter personalities. And I keep reading up on it and it seems the abuse I went through as a child I was already to old to develop split personalities.

Just wanted to hear some other opinions.

 

[Abstract]

From what you say I agree with your take on this kitkay. Has your T said why she thinks you have DID? All the things you list can be down to PTSD with dissociation such derealisation, dissociative trance and fugue states. Could there be other repeated severe trauma pre five years of age do you think? Apparently it is key that it happens while the personality is developing.

It does sound like you have significant depersonalisation regardless. Has she helped you with grounding?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

How long were you seeing her before she diagnosed you? Did you take any tests?

 

[Reds]

Maybe you need to have this discussion with her. Tell her what you think and ask her why she thinks you have DID, is it possible that you could have both DID and PTSD?

Abstract, you keep mentioning grounding techniques, do mind explaining what you mean?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

@Reds
You can do a search for grounding techniques. There are so many different grounding techniques that one person couldn't possibly describe them all.

 

[Abstract]

s, do mind explaining what you mean?

Reds, very happy to. A bit shocked your T hasn't gone over any with you. Here is one example https://www.myptsd.com/threads/fast-grounding-5-4-3-2-1-game.30079/

The most common means is using your senses in some way. Looking for certain colours in the environment and saying them out loud is one I like. There are many others too and another thread listed under the same section of self help as the link I listed above. Let me know if you want to know more.

I believe most of those with DID would have PTSD by the way.

[DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/grounding-101.12459/[/DLMURL] https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/grounding.19978/ https://www.myptsd.com/threads/grounding-exercise-for-dissociating.13880/

 

[Reds]

Thank you Abstract I see what you are talking about. We went through this with my T, but she never used the term grounding. I am normally very good with my imagination so she normally tells me to go to my happy place, that gets me calmed. So even when I am alone and losing it I allow myself to go to that happy place. I guess this is also some sort of a grounding technique.

 

[just keep swimming]

In the last few weeks I have had screening tests for D.I.D they have come back positive so I am a diagnosed complex PTSD sufferer with D.I.D also now diagnosed. Been a bit of a trip to say the least. I am a victim of child abuse from the age of 3 up and its no suprise that in order to survive this I created this. I have been told that they think this is sommative and a complete cure is possible. No medication for this just ongoing psycotherapy however this very therapy has to be with a T who is specialised in this area.
I am now looking at 3-5 years of getting past this of course depending. Its 9 months in the waiting list to even be seen!! nice..

For anyone in the UK who wants to know if they have d.i.d or not, contact 'the potters gate center' in Norwich, ask them to e-mail or mail a free 2 part screening test. This center is very expensive for treatment although do these tests for free which you can then take to your doctor and go from there.

Good luck, from all of me's

Oh sorry I need to say, I also do not have other personality's that i am not aware of, I do not end up in clothes that I don't remember putting on or buying, also I do not have people come up to me in the street who call me by a different name and appear to know me but I don't know them....D.i.d Is nothing to fear and better to get it diagnosed or not so you know what type of T you need or not.

Hope this is any help, it freaked me out to begin with.


Hey Reds, your T never grounded you???? before your call?????

Oh dear, just keep swimming its what we do :wideeyed:

 

[arfie]

@kitkat225
I don't worry too much about what to call it. I know something is not right and working on the symptoms is far more important to me than what to call it. Psycho labels are still cycling more rapidly than teenaged slang, anyway. Call it the Light Age Lament for all I care.

 

[just keep swimming]

Good luck getting a specialist in your area arfie, yes we can do as we all please and call things whatever we like. I do admire your approach.

 

[GingerAli]

The way it was explained to me dissociation is kind of on a spectrum. With DID being a more severe form of it and PTSD being more in the middle to just before DID. I had a test done with an old therapist that showed I ranked very high on dissociative experiences, but I have not noticed or heard about another personality yet. I second abstracts comment. All people with DID have PTSD, But not all people with PTSD have DID.

The things you describe can be attributed to dissociative fugue, etc, but maybe she noticed something you haven't? Some people don't know they have DID. They just have lapses of time, etc. but there are people without DID that do as well, like me(at least I don't think I do). There can be indicators that clue therapists into the high likelihood of DID. Do you find things that you don't remember buying? Do people call you by a different name or are there people you have not met before who come up and talk to you like they know you? Another more subtle clue is the use of "we" when talking about things. This is not an all inclusive list, just some examples.

I don't want you to worry. It's so good you are getting therapy. Sometimes we can have trauma much earlier than we realize but another "part" holds that memory, so we aren't even aware of it. And yes, they can remain virtually hidden until another trauma (like what happened with your husband) brings it out. Or sometimes starting therapy can bring out parts we aren't aware of.

Talk to your therapist and say you were doing research and wonder what has brought her to the conclusion that you have DID vs. very high dissociative experiences. Only she can answer that. If she gets upset with you for reading on it, or asking questions, I would encourage you to seek another opinion. If you find the need to do that, I encourage you to seek a therapist with trauma and PTSD experience. Some therapists still believe that DID is EXTREMELY rare. In fact, there was a time it was taught that there were only a handful of true cases. But you will need an experienced therapist to get the most out of therapy. Best of luck to you!

 

[Bluerose]

To my knowledge there is no age limit to dissociation. A very stressed out twenty year old can seriously dissociate. And a seriously traumatic experience can also cause dissociation.

Struggled with this for thirty years or more (abusive childhood). Dissociating well before I realised I was. Became aware of it in my twenties, tried to explain, misdiagnosed many times. Finally diagnosed 2009 with PTSD and DID.

This is difficult. Feels like some kind of confession. I don’t talk about it, but I do handle things a whole lot more positive and productive since being diagnosed. I still have doubts about the diagnoses from time to time and at other times I am quite willing to accept it. I’m told this is quite normal.

My T referred me to a consultant, a professor something or other (I won’t say his name here) he was to my knowledge a big wig so I was quite willing to accept the diagnoses and go back and discuss his finding with my T.

I don’t see it as other personalities but other parts of me. Like I blocked anger so much for so long that it became almost like a separate part of me. I may have done the same with my depression.

Talk to your T. Let her know how you feel about DID. I’m sure she’ll help you see it if you do have it. And I’m sure too, that once diagnosed things will begin to fall into place.

It’s the not knowing that makes dissociation scary. Knowledge is power.