Deemed "untreatable."

[WillowMarie]

I respectfully disagree with you about grounding. I've tried it for years and I've come to the conclusion that it is a crutch used to distract - much like addictions are used to distract. Grounding isn't dealing with issues.

I have had thoughts about it distracting me from my feelings, too. Especially since I go to paying attention to other things when I get upset in therapy, like playing and feeling my hands, playing close attention to picking fuzz off my sweater. I have told my therapist that, if around other people, I almost automatically take a deep breath that helps calm me when feeling like I will cry. She responded, that's good! But I said, no because it is me automatically pushing away my feelings and not dealing with them...

I guess there needs to be a healthy balance between getting back to the present by using grounding skills so you don't feel so overwhelmed or at danger in the present, but still letting yourself feel emotions that come up/dealing with the triggers. I am still working on that.. haven't figured it out. If I find the secret, I will let you know.

 

[Animalliberator]

As I noted, DBT is a very complicated kind of therapy. Way too many pieces to the puzzle to make any sense to me. Here is information about DBT. I'm sure folks would agree that it seems terribly confusing and complicated.

I wanted to include a wiki link about DBT here but the site won't let me. Just Google DBT therapy and go to the wiki page on it. You'll see how complex it is. I can't imagine anyone struggling with severe mental illness having the ability to complete such a treatment.

 

[ill]

I've done research on DBT. Way too complicated.

What exactly are you looking for in/from therapy? Would would a reasonable, non-nonsensical, reasonably uncomplicated therapy/treatment look like to you? What do you expect and want to do to make things better? How much effort are you willing to expend?

 

[digger]

I can't imagine anyone struggling with severe mental illness having the ability to complete such a treatment.

And yet there are people here telling you that it has been helpful for them and that it has been proved helpful for people with BPD.

I am struggling to see what exactly it is that you want from therapy and this thread. Your posts are coming across more and more like you wish to be untreatable and a special case.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I know I'm going to get the "you don't know me" response, but I'm going to say this anyway.

I understand looking for "a" solution, but it seems like animal is looking for "the" solution in that the solution must have certain personal requirements.

In this sense the solution is being predetermined....why is it so necessary that the solution to your problems meet a list of criteria? Again, this is self defeating behavior and to only accept treatments that conform to preconceived notions of what a cure should look like....this will get you nowhere. It's like saying "I have cancer but only give validity to cures that involve peanut butter because *I* believe only the right cure involves peanut butter!" Yes, this is a ridiculous notion, but it does parallel what you are saying in that it shows an inability to be open minded about anything that doesn't meet your requirements of a treatment/cure.

News flash. We don't get to CHOOSE the solution to our problems. We don't get to say "it must have XYZ and if it doesn't, then I won't consider it" Again, this attitude will keep you sick.

Your inabity to be open minded is going to keep you sick. I never really BELIEVED in meditation, but faithfully worked at it for over a year because I knew it helped a lot of people. It wasn't about trying something and giving up. It was about doing something over and over again, day in and day out until it worked. And after about a year of work I got to the point of being able to calm myself almost instantly through meditation. It was truly a holy sh!t, what just happened?!? sort of moment.

So maybe meditation isn't your cup of tea. My point is that I was open to something that I didn't believe in and it ended up being a great healing tool for me.

You cut yourself off to everything, most recently DBT (a few responses ago). Again, you are keeping yourself sick by rejecting things which you don't fully understand. I ask you, what is the payoff? Believe me when I say there is a payoff. When we repeat the same self-defeating behavior over and over again, it's because there is some benefit for ourselves.

Are you in the USA? You never answered your other thread. If so, you have access to a number of excellent treatment facilities. The ones I went to were nationally known and many people came via plane because such treatment is so specialized as to not be available everywhere.

Until you open your mind, you will remain untreatable. It is incredibly difficult to have compassion for someone who rejects every bit of help offered to them.

 

[Animalliberator]

uh, no. I don't want to be a special case. I wish people here would stop making assumptions about my motivations. I want to get better. But therapy has to make sense to me. It has to be logical. DBT, for instance, puts emphasis on Eastern mindfulness. Where I come from - a very rural, conservative town - I can assure you no one worked through their hardships using Eastern mindfulness techniques. It is a completely foreign concept to me, my family, and my community. People I grew up with went through terrible tragedies. And I didn't know a single individual who used any of the techniques in DBT or SE. Yet, they got along just fine.

 

[Animalliberator]

What exactly are you looking for in/from therapy? Would would a reasonable, non-nonsensical, reasonably uncomplicated therapy/treatment look like to you? What do you expect and want to do to make things better? How much effort are you willing to expend?

Uncomplicated, common sense therapy would look like fixing an old car. I'm not a mechanic but I can understand what a mechanic tells me is wrong with my car and how to fix it. I'd like therapy to be like that. I wouldn't go to a mechanic who used Eastern mysticism to fix the gas line in my car. Just as I wouldn't go to a therapist who employs questionable techniques made up from Lala land.

I want simple, easy to understand, no nonsense, no silliness, no touchy-freely therapy.

 

[Lucycat]

I am not a mechanic. I don't understand how cars work. Even if someone explained it to me I doubt that I would understand. When I have a problem with my car I take it to a reputable garage, having faith in their greater knowledge and expertise and I trust that they will not rip me off.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

So the bottom line is that it's not good enough for a therapy to work, in addition it must be EASY, UNCOMPLICATED, and COMMON SENSE. You don't want to heal. You want to heal on YOUR TERMS, and your terms alone.

You see people from the past and say "they were fine without all this gobbledygook" but you don't know that. You are ASSUMING they were fine because back then it was very taboo to talk about mental issues so most people buried them and suffered in silence.

(You have so many flaws in your thinking that it is insane----get into CBT or be a victim to your own thoughts until the day you die.)

News flash. Healing isn't easy, but you're making it an impossible insurmountable task. Again, recipe for staying sick.

It is completely pointless for anyone to continue to try and help you here because nobody here knows of any therapy which meets your requirements.

I think you just want to argue. I think you do think you're a special case. You say no, but previously you stated that you're different than everyone else here. Yes, you are in that we are open minded and yours is closed up like Fort Knox.

People comment that you are keeping your cool but I don't see it that way. I see you like a two year old throwing a tantrum (albeit quiet tantrum) where you say "NO!" to everything and want everything your way. This behavior stopped being acceptable by the time we went to kindergarten. I think it's time you stopped.

Peace out. My comments are being ignored so it's pointless to be here. I won't comment anymore, although it is interesting to see so many people try to help you only to see you reject everything that is said. I will save my comments for those who are willing to see things from another point of view and actually want to change in order to heal.

But one last thing. Look around you at all the other people with open minds who are actually getting better. And then look at yourself. Is repeating your old behavior getting you anywhere? No, it's not.

Nothing said here is going to change your mind. Sad, because openness is required to heal. At this point, yes, you are untreatable.

 

[Animalliberator]

I think I finally figured out why there has been such disagreement and tension between commentators on this thread and me. It boils down to cultural differences. As I noted, I grew up in a small, conservative, Bible-belt town where "massage" was a dirty word (usually involving a "happy ending") and the idea of meditation was passing out in the local park after a softball game and one too many Pabst Blue Ribbons.

What works for someone named "Raven" living on a commune in Northern California would be laughed at where I come from. Mention Eastern mindfulness and you'd likely be met with blank stares and then have your ass kicked for being a "commie." I don't hold those views BUT I come from that background. And many forms of therapy, unfortunately, employ techniques that are culturally alien to people like me. I don't know a single person from my home town who has practiced "mindfulness" or being "grounded." Their way of dealing with stress was going out to the shooting range, not therapy.

For therapy to work for an individual it has to feel safe, not alien. It has to be done within someone's frame of reference and comfort level. I tune out as soon therapists talk about "spirituality" or "energy" or "souls." I don't believe in any of that. Such concepts - and that includes religion - are fabricated by humans for two purposes: to shield us from the devastating realization that there is no afterlife, that we just become worm food; and to make us feel like our miserable lives have meaning. In the scheme of things, we are meaningless in this world.

 

[digger]

There are people on this forum from all sorts of backgrounds, countries and cultures. Again you are choosing to single yourself out as having a special reason to be seen differently. The reason for the disagreement and tension is that you are dismissing people and their suggestions and experiences without regard.

I am genuinely sorry for you that you are unable to take on board anything that has been said to you here. I hope that at some point some of it might filter through to you and you will choose to find a way to heal.

 

[Rumors]

Dude, no way you grew up in a smaller, more conservative town than I did so save the cultural differences BS for someplace else.

Fact is, you want what you want and when you want it almost to a pathological point. You would argue with Jesus if he stood in front of you and told you he existed because that is how you are geared. You are unfixable, you win because ultimately that is what you want. This is a game to you. How long can you go before people become disgusted and give up?? It is pathological. You are far more ill than you think. Run to the closest hospital. Please. If they are unable to "fix" you at least they can keep you from hurting others. I imagine your family life is full of turmoil. There is absolutely NOTHING this forum can help you with. You have met every suggestion with "utter quackery" and "woo-woo, hippy-dippy" answers...doesn't feel too good, eh. Peace out!