How Do I Get Great Grades With Ptsd?

[Gwena]

I keep getting these random panic attacks when I'm at home or when I'm at school (but not as often). My dad keeps triggering it whenever he talks about me (especially about our relationship and saying he loves me or something). I don't know what's wrong with me, but I keep getting triggered because of something that happened two years ago. I attempted suicide in front of him and he called me oversensitive. I've been suicidal for half of my life (I'm currently 16) so maybe there's something wrong with me? I've hated him passionately ever since because all he does is blame me and he thinks of himself as this great wonderful father. My mom's the same and she's been telling me to die ever since I was 6. IDK why this affected me so much but these panic attacks/breakdowns interrupt with school (esp. test scores). I'm also pissed off or about to have a breakdown during the weekend because I'm with my parents. Both of them are really loud too and I need to use the computer to take practice tests (it's by the kitchen). I'm never allowed to go outside unless it's for school. Please help. I don't want to sacrifice my goals because of them. Also, I can't tell my teachers because I don't trust them much and they're probably apathetic towards me.

 

[Powder]

Gwena,

Are you in counseling therapy with a qualified therapist for PTSD? Or is that your diagnosis?

You are trying to do well in school and achieve your academic goals despite having been suicidal for most of your life. It's like two different things are going on (or more) inside you. That must be hard to deal with.

Could you tell your folks that you are at the age and stage in which you need a computer in a quiet place to study to do your homework and relax?

 

[WillyKat]

Muse asked the question I have, which is to say are you seeing a pro?

My teenage years are far behind me, but the pain of those days is still raw. If you're not seeing a pro, I think you should talk to a counselor at school and see if you can get some help.

When you say that your mom has "been telling me to die ever since I was 6" I'm stunned. Whether she's said that literally or implied it by saying other things, you need to get some support. Coming here is great, but it's no substitute for a good counselor.

Stay strong!

 

[a3a2]

Gwena,

You will be banned from this site soon, as you are under-age. I suggest, though you talk to your doctor or pediatrician about these things A.S.A.P without your parents present. He/she may prescribe meds for anxiety, as well as pursuading your parents to get counseling for you. It would probably be good if your teachers knew as well, as then they could give you extra help as needed.

If you're not seeing a pro, I think you should talk to a counselor at school and see if you can get some help.

I think the above is a great idea as well. If you can get out of the house, and perhaps move in with friend, please be sure it is someone SAFE!!! Make sure you are not jumping from one abusive situation to another. If you are able to get yourself declared "independent" for your senior year, you are able to get more financial aid for college,

I am sorry you are in this situation. I pray you are able to get help and freedom soon.

 

[StarChild]

You will be banned from this site soon, as you are under-age.

Nope, she isn't under age; As Gwena is 16 and according to the forum rules (Legal Policy #8.), one has to be 13 or older to register.
https://www.myptsd.com/help/terms/

Welcome to the forum Gwena. :)

 

[Deleted member 1860]

@a3a2,
Please stop scaring people away! She is not going to be banned for being underage!

@Gwena,
You aren't going to be banned for being underage. The minimum age on this site is 13 and since you're 16, you're fine. Please keep posting!

 

[a3a2]

Please stop scaring people away! She is not going to be banned for being underage!

I was mistaken, not trying to scare people away. And thank you, SweetLullaby, for your kind correction.

 

[StarChild]

not trying to scare people away

Oh, of course not, dear a3a2. :) I didn't mean you to "scare people away"... I hope there's no misunderstanding, as I've got a fever during the night and therefore my English (which isn't my first language) maybe isn't correct. I do apologize, if my post came across as harsh...:(

 

[a3a2]

"scare people away".

My comment here was not in response to you, but in response to another post that has since disappeared, but thank you for your concern. And thank you, moderators.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

My comment here was not in response to you, but in response to another post that has since disappeared

Posts disappear when you block people. Thanks for the heads up.

 

[Gwena]

It's my diagnosis. I feel like I probably have PTSD because I really relate to the symptoms. And my counselor doesn't seem to like me much (I'm in 9th grade currently because I didn't do any classes that were accredited and I want to skip to 11th grade so I've been talking to her A LOT). Maybe I should just wait it out for 2 years? And am I going to get banned?

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

You are not going to get banned...

Is there other counselors you can talk with? I am sorry you are going through all this. Sounds like my high school years.

Take care. :)