Sufferer Expecting Results Or Miracles

[soulsearcher]

Hi! I am new to this site. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and currently in therapy. I met with my T last week and I have been struggling since. She made a comment that I would be there longer then she will be there, meaning in therapy. I took offense to this I do not want to be a "chronic" or a "lifer"!! I have given myself a date, if I am not in less pain or managing better then I am OK with quitting life. I can't keep functioning for another 25 years like this! Is it wrong to give myself a date? Is it wrong to expect results or am I asking for miracles?

 

[Hashi]

Welcome to the forum, soulsearcher.

I think you'll have to prepare yourself for a lot of people on this forum who see PTSD as long term if not lifelong, you can improve but only ever manage it etc. I don't agree with that, but I expect that will be the gist of many responses.

There isn't an answer that is right or wrong, there are only different viewpoints and different experiences of PTSD and healing. If you have a viewpoint that you can fully heal then I would support you in that. Not in deadlines and ultimatums around it though.

I'm wondering, why are you seeing a therapist who doesn't share your belief in recovery? Why don't you find a therapist who does?

 

[Pencil]

s it wrong to give myself a date?

Yes.

Is it wrong to expect results

Absolutely not.

 

[Bedbug]

Hi @soulsearcher and welcome.

I gave myself a date shortly after receiving my diagnosis. I have since revised it, and also redefined my goal as I have gained greater understanding of what I am dealing with. However, I think it is important to be motivated and to be quite hard on oneself. Self-care and kindness have a huge part to play, but I refuse to sit back in the expectation that someone else will fix me. With hard work and determination I have achieved results. They're just not what I demanded of myself initially.

You sound very committed and motivated. I wish you all the very best. You will find a lot of support here.

 

[Meg_porter94]

I can understand where you are coming from with the thinking you aren't going to get better by this point in time so you are giving your self a date.
One of my doctors told me that "recovering isn't waving a magic wand over your head, it's more or less like sending a rat into a complex maze. You cannot know which way the rat will go unless you are the rat. There will be times where you are on course. Others, you may make a wrong turn." Trust me recovery is a major pain in the ass.

But trust me, its not going to be easy or fun sometimes. But there are always people here that will love to help you. I'm here as well :)

If you don't like the therapist you can change.

 

[Seasounds]

First, very warmly, welcome to this forum. Suffering is no fun, nor is being kept a prisoner by trauma.

Second, your therapist goofed and made a stupid statement;not a good sign. Maybe see how it goes or maybe find another?

You are an individual; there are many people in this forum who find their healing independant from therapists, and/or go in and out therapy, when it suits them.

Thirdly, I have walked a mile in shoes, similar to yours; I, too, stated that if things weren't better by a certain date, than I would be out of here! I get it. I respect you.

What I can offer, is when I asked my intuition to guide me to things that would give me a quantum leap, through a very frustrating cycle that I couldn't live with, and that traditional therapy, alone, couldn't remedy, some unconventional modalities came into my life, through causal conversations like this one, with friends, hairdressers, a stranger at the store, etc.

It all settled down to me trying new things, that helped release the physical body memories, and that spiritually opened new freedoms for me. Narrowing my list down:

• Image the earth's energy coming through the souls of your feet, twice a day, for a month. (The reason is that in order to create a new reality, you need a neutral source of energy. Trauma histories are not neutral.)
• Regularly, monthly, get body work: at your comfort, get deep tissue in the areas of trauma, and get gentler Craniosacral therapy to transform your mindbody, to create a new paradigm.
• Intentionally create new ways to find choice in each moment; mindfulness is great.
• Soul retrieval-spiritual ritual of releasing the past and inviting personal wholeness.

Feel free to be in touch with me. Good luck.

 

[Pencil]

Trust me recovery is a major pain in the ass.

:hilarious: There should be rewards for statements such as this one!

 

[Bedbug]

She made a comment that I would be there longer then she will be there, meaning in therapy.

The more I think about this, the more it makes me angry. Your therapist may be many things, but clairvoyant is not one of them. I am hoping she meant something else. It's clearly angered you too, so ask her about it.

 

[WillyKat]

First, welcome!

Second, I'd clarify with your therapist what the comment meant. Remember, the therapist works for you, not the other way around.

About the deadline, I agree with others that setting a deadline is most likely going to be self-defeating. For one thing, symptoms you think might be resolved have a way of coming back, sometimes just to remind you what an asshole they are. And if you've checked on off, it will be quite a shock when it comes back.

My advice is to set small, attainable goals. Try to be satisfied with baby steps of progress. You are on a long road.

Think of it like an exercise program, hunting for a job, or preparing for the Olympics.

 

[soulsearcher]

Thank you all for your words. I don't feel so alone. I will work on all your suggestions, and yes I will talk to my therapist about her words. I don't want more pain added onto what I am already trying to deal with. I am so glad I found this site!!

 

[Abstract]

May I ask more or less when you date is? In other words would you share with us how long it is you gave yourself? I think that will help to see where you are and if you have absorbed the situation you are in or not.

Regardless of what peoples views are about healing I think her statement is terrible. I am sure she was trying to achieve something by saying it but I find it wrong.

As Bug said she is not clairvoyant. People have said to me I am incurable with other stuff, that I would always have them, but I don't suffer with them any more. It is also unusual to suggest someone should stay in therapy indefinitely.

Helping someone with acceptance is one thing and trying to crush any hope they have and taking on the role of all-knowing omniscient is something else entirely. You are unique and your journey will be unique.

I will suggest though that working hard and letting your journey unfold with you is a much better approach.

 

[soulsearcher]

@ Abstract, I have given myself a couple of years. I've spent 25+ years hiding and burying it. I have been in therapy for almost a year now and the pain doesn't feel any less, if anything it has brought up so much feelings and emotions that I don't feel I have control of myself anymore and I choose to isolate because I am SO scared and afraid of even myself now.