I started at my new job about a month ago, and I've already called out twice because of fatigue, and gone in a couple hours late 3 times because it took me more than 3 hours to just get out of bed. I'm having trouble eating because I'm just too tired to throw something together before and after work, and even just tidying things is so tiring that I feel an intense need to sleep after such small things like folding laundry. I'm so angry, and tired, and miserable right now.
I'm having a very bad day today. I had to call out of work because every muscle in my body hurts -- I could barely grip my bedroom doorknob because of how painful it was this morning. After work on Monday I went bouldering (rock climbing without harness at lesser heights) -- I had been meaning to do it for weeks but I was just too tired all the time. I was feeling pretty good that evening, so even though I knew I would pay for it later I decided to do it anyway. I've been bouldering before, and on Monday I took it really easy. I didn't push myself hard, and left earlier than I would've liked as an attempt to avoid the horrible pain I'm in today. It's so frustrating that this is what I get for trying to do something I really enjoy. The last time I went bouldering was over the summer. I was actually just starting my 3000 mile bicycle trip then. I could climb for 3+ hours and cycle for multiple consecutive days and be fine. A little sore, but not enough that I had to stop. It's devastating that I can't do that anymore. If I had the energy to, I'd be in the middle of a fit of rage.
Even worse is that my doctor and I haven't found a cause for it, and I don't think we will. Blood tests have all come back completely normal and negative for any testable illnesses. Can't be depression because medication has swept away all the other symptoms and a higher dose doesn't help. As far as my partner and I know, I don't have any sleep issues (other than excessive sleep and somewhat often insomnia) but I'm waiting to schedule a sleep study as soon as possible. I'm starting to think it's probably Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and that makes me miserable. I just want this to be a phase, something that will just magically disappear in a couple days. It's been causing me so much stress. I don't have enough energy to deal with basic things. Determining if I actually have the energy to shower is an ordeal, making food to eat feels like climbing up 10 flights of stairs. Argh, I just want to be normal. :(
I guess that's the end of this rant.
I'm having a very bad day today. I had to call out of work because every muscle in my body hurts -- I could barely grip my bedroom doorknob because of how painful it was this morning. After work on Monday I went bouldering (rock climbing without harness at lesser heights) -- I had been meaning to do it for weeks but I was just too tired all the time. I was feeling pretty good that evening, so even though I knew I would pay for it later I decided to do it anyway. I've been bouldering before, and on Monday I took it really easy. I didn't push myself hard, and left earlier than I would've liked as an attempt to avoid the horrible pain I'm in today. It's so frustrating that this is what I get for trying to do something I really enjoy. The last time I went bouldering was over the summer. I was actually just starting my 3000 mile bicycle trip then. I could climb for 3+ hours and cycle for multiple consecutive days and be fine. A little sore, but not enough that I had to stop. It's devastating that I can't do that anymore. If I had the energy to, I'd be in the middle of a fit of rage.
Even worse is that my doctor and I haven't found a cause for it, and I don't think we will. Blood tests have all come back completely normal and negative for any testable illnesses. Can't be depression because medication has swept away all the other symptoms and a higher dose doesn't help. As far as my partner and I know, I don't have any sleep issues (other than excessive sleep and somewhat often insomnia) but I'm waiting to schedule a sleep study as soon as possible. I'm starting to think it's probably Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and that makes me miserable. I just want this to be a phase, something that will just magically disappear in a couple days. It's been causing me so much stress. I don't have enough energy to deal with basic things. Determining if I actually have the energy to shower is an ordeal, making food to eat feels like climbing up 10 flights of stairs. Argh, I just want to be normal. :(
I guess that's the end of this rant.
