Vulnerability

[Philippa]

Brown is also thinking of a utopia, and not real life.

I think she does overlook these scenarios, but when people aren't facing homelessness and other situations of desolation, then inter relating with others can be improved, in my opinion.

I've found vulnerability to be something that enhanced my life and felt so right at the time, when not in crisis situations, so I don't agree that it is a utopian vision. I've also been homeless though, so I can definitely agree that it's not something to be applied in all contexts.

She just doesn't really cover all scenarios or think of times when vulnerability may not be applicable or realistic.

 

[Hashi]

She just doesn't... think of times when vulnerability may not be applicable or realistic.

Yes.

 

[The Albatross]

I didn't read or listen to her to be able to apply it to PTSD... I have other tools for that. I studied her independently to address the block I had with vulnerability as I was setting up a series of challenges... to make me more likely to take perceived risks and endeavor to do or try to do uncomfortable things in order to expose and re-expose myself to stressers until my responses went down or normalized.

It worked.[DOUBLEPOST=1399120587,1399120405][/DOUBLEPOST]It was beneficial for a very specific reason. I do not though tend to read or listen to something and magnify it and try to apply it to my PTSD. I try to break the PTSD stuff down to it's base components and deal with one, two, three from there. That is how I get small incremental improvements in my base mind set or my decreased reactivity, my emotional regulation and my frustration tolerance.

I build new experiences to over write the old memories/tapes/messaging.... not learn new material and attempt to apply it to the mindset I've been trapped in.

 

[Philippa]

I didn't read or listen to her to be able to apply it to PTSD... I have other tools for that.

Same. I would not consider her ideas to be applicable when facing trauma and crisis.

I studied her independently to address the block I had with vulnerability as I was setting up a series of challenges... to make me more likely to take perceived risks and endeavor to do or try to do uncomfortable things in order to expose and re-expose myself to stressers until my responses went down or normalized.

Stepping out of our comfort zones is a sure path to growth. This is something I've always admired about you Alba...your total willingness to go beyond where you are and challenge yourself, and improve on where you were. You work really hard at it, and deserve credit where credit is due.

It worked.

Yay! :)

 

[Hashi]

@The Albatross to me you seem to be someone who has filled in "how to" yourself. Do you think Brene Brown actually gives steps to follow? If so, could you say what these steps are? What she says, rather than what you have worked out or interpreted.

I'm genuinely interested to know what she's suggesting people should actually do.

 

[The Albatross]

Not particularly up for giving a synopsis of her material, but I will collect my thoughts and put together something after work this evening (short break right now between shifts) and try to post something sometime tomorrow. Also with the proviso that it is my own experience and is not open for critique. If it helps great, if not just disregard it please.

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

There just seems a bit too much being made of this I think. It's not an anti-Brene Brown thread, just one person saying that they don't get much from this particular writer, and sharing a quote that illustrates why. Others might share a similar view of the quote, or they might be fans of Brene-Brown.
Different people have different tastes, that's all. As far as the therapist using it, I think part of a therapists job is to try to find the different keys that work for different people.

Thank you Meadowsweet! Brene Brown has connected shame and vulnerability in a manner completely unacceptable for me. I was shamed by my grandmother for biting my grandfather. My brother suggested kicking my teeth out. My sister was jealous. I see my family the same way I saw them as a child. Crazy! Um hell no I feel zero shame. I will never feel shame anymore than I will ever have SI thoughts. I lived in self preservation mode too long. My fight has always been to stay alive. :)

I was shamed my entire childhood for not being dysfunctional like them. I thank God everyday for giving me the strength to fight them back.:joyful:

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

I think the human race has still has a long way to go - but without a map. I know she can't give a map with directions. But .. what then?

Amen @Pencil! At this rate the best we can do is know what it isn't. LOL

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

It's totally fine to be skeptical of a person's theories, but to dismiss them simply because of a few cliche like quotes taken out of context, that seems a bit unfair and premature.

Please share how you feel it was taken out of context.

My point is vulnerability and shame do not necessarily go hand in hand. Brene Browns theory is insistent otherwise.

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

Of course you can discuss anything you like. Had there been mention that some trauma survivors did find her work helpful, rather than her work being simply written off as shallow, then I may not have posted in the first place. I admit I didn't read all the posts before commenting.

And what exactly what do you believe trauma survivors find her work helpful?

LOL They understand SHAME isn't theirs to bear!!! LOL

 

[Meadowsweet]

@Survivor2Thriver, I do feel shame, it is ingrained. I have to work on my vulnerability. These are ways in which abuse has effected me. So this isn't the reason why I disliked the quotes of brown. It's not the subject matter that Brown talks about, that's nothing new, it is the way it is written that puts me off her.

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

I do feel shame, it is ingrained. I have to work on my vulnerability.

Each of us survive/(ing) different dysfunctional dynamics. Myself being the family scapegoat was/is easier for me to process shame. It is as ingrained in me not to feel shame as it is for you to feel it. There is no right or wrong.

I too must work on vulnerability. My trust issues are not based on or in shame nor fear.