On Disability, Feel Guilty

[shimmerz]

Someone on here said they work mercilessly at their healing. I did that and I can't help thinking that working mercilessly at healing it simply an extension of working mercilessly at being able to work.

Ashamed to say that was me. :oops: You are right @Springer80 My support people keep telling me that I need to stop that. It appears I have cotton in my ears that extends into my grey matter. ;) I am working on it though. Thanks for the gentle reminder.

 

[Springer80]

Ashamed to say that was me.

Why be ashamed? It's a really difficult thing to digest. I propelled myself forward (and away from healing) by trying to heal. Everyone does it, Horace wrote poems about it 2000 yrs ago and eastern philosophy has it all written down. Forgiving yourself is tough.

It's odd isn't it that we are defined by what we do as a job role. How far we are in the rat race, up the greasy pole. People try do well in it, precisely so they can get out of it as early as possible?? :confused::confused::confused::dead:

Right before I burned out I was just qualified for the career I deserved, then I met someone who I loved and realised I didn't want any of the ambition stuff, I just didn't think I was good enough to be loved and happy without it! Then I lost both. Life certainly is good at providing the exactly painful lessons you need. :cry::oops::sleep::angelic:

 

[Laura 2]

Life certainly is good at providing the exactly painful lessons you need.

Yes to the rest of your post here.

But I don't believe we 'need' 'painful lessons'. No sir! No ma'am! Not at all.
None of us are so evil, heinous, bad, etc that we 'need' 'painful lessons' that, in practice, look so much like full-on punishment.

 

[shimmerz]

Why be ashamed?

Because I know better.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I have learned the hard way that some lessons are painful and costly. But I also believe that real good comes out of the bad eventually and the healing and the recovery continue with us being wiser and more careful not wanting to go through the lessons again.

 

[SemperFiLeo]

I would put up a piece of paper somewhere and start "workshopping" words and phrases. Write them all down...

So reprogram your brain to accept it, right?

 

[Lionheart]

I've been unable to work since late 1998 and began receiving disability benefits in 2000.

I worked until I absolutely could no longer stand on my own two legs. The reason? I had been traumatized so severely and had incurred so much stress that my body was literally shutting down. At the time I had contracted Chronic Fatigue Lymphadenopathy Syndrome (CFS) along with (C)-PTSD, and I suffer from Major Depressive Disorder as well.

I am now on a limited income, I cannot work, and I do not have much of a social life.. It makes me sad and frustrated, but I have no reason to feel guilty about it.

PTSD can be disabling and that is nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty about in my humble opinion.

 

[Gadgie]

I know what you mean, when I got told that I was "finished at fifty" as the doctor told me, it took a while for that to sink in. What be meant was, I was finished working, as the MRI scan showed that my back was indeed badly damaged?

I felt guilty taking the disability benefit, as I had worked all my life from the age of fifteen, and to be told that bad news just shattered me!

Then to make matters worse, I was sleeping in our settee, (long story for the reason for that) when a brick came through the window, and the shock of that apparently was the trigger that set off my PTSD and changed my life for ever.