@Philippa Another thing is that, I know lots of people with mental health issues that play games and toy with people. In fact every person whether it was a relative or someone passing through who has been destructive in my life, who have hurt me with emotional abuse and sociopath games, has been mentally ill or sick in some way or another or at least acted like they were.
Totally agree here, and I've known quite a few people who do play games and emotionally abuse when they are unstable and sick. I think he is, on some level, playing some game, whether he is conscious of it or not?
The last text gave me a clear impression of emotional invalidation. He didn't want to look at what he knew deep down had affected me due to his behaviour and instead tried to make me out to be over reacting to what was really not that big of a deal (in his mind).
Being quirky or a cutey doesn't mean that he can't screw with you. He can use his eccentric quirks to charm you, make him seem more interesting, and distract you. Even if he's not you are still vulnerable and his actions affect you.
I hear you here. I really do. I'm aware that I was vulnerable and needy of all kinds of attention and affection and that leaves me open to people who like to screw with people.
You still have needs which aren't being met with texting and excuses. As for texting, it makes it so much easier for them to lie. You're not there with them and can't see their face. It's actually really childish and just convenient to them.
Definitely.
I know you said you don't want to be told what to do but at this point I would not respond to him, even if you already have. Just stop communicating with him, for at least ten days or two weeks. See what happens.
Yes, I agree with this. I wasn't meaning to sound unappreciative earlier. I do have issues with being told what to do. I understand that you are being caring though, and I do appreciate that.
Maybe he'll text more then stop when you don't respond. Or he might be more interested if you respond after two weeks. You're waiting by the phone. You should go out and get new numbers and talk to some other guys. The bar didn't work, but you could find some other kind of event or thing to go to, and meet someone there.
I've been thinking the same thing in the last two hours. I think you're right. He left the message so it sounded like he was letting me go and finished by saying "Take care" which I didn't trust at all. He didn't care about me, so why would he really care if I take care of myself?
I'm not going to wait by the phone for him. I considered returning his broken text, but decided to leave it, and see what happens. I have no time for people who play games like this. If he chases me he's gonna have to chase for a while for me to even register his existence. I do have other guys I can call on, and there are parties coming up that I am looking forward to where I can meet new people. thanks for the sound advice here. It aligns with my own thinking as well.
I'm sure I will be able to forget him soon...it was just a mixture of hormones, loneliness, neediness and genuine attraction that had me all in a bind before, but the more I think over it, the more I tell myself he's a dickhead and that's that.
