Pet Lovers With Ptsd...

[WillThereBeCake]

Xena, I am so very sorry that you are going through this with your best friend. Please know that the sadness, confusion and despair you are feeling is very real. I know some people might say, "It's just a dog", but animal lovers, as well as mental health professionals know you are suffering as much as if it were your birth child.

One resource I would strongly recommend you take advantage of is the ASPCA website. They have numerous articles about pet grief as well as search functions to find therapist near you specializing in pet loss. They also have counselors available by phone, and I think they might be free. You can find all the info at aspca.org put "grief" in the search box.

There is also an excellent book, which helped me tremendously after the loss of one of mine, called, "How to ROAR: Pet Loss Grief Recovery" by Robin Jean Brown. It is available for instant download on Amazon and is only around $5.

While I have multiple pets, when my oldest cat died, it blew me over, and I utilized the above resources. He was the one with me through all the horrible stuff, and like your heroine dog, kept me going. When I had to let him go, I kissed him and said, "Thank you for being strong when I couldn't be. Your work here is done. Run Free".

Tears flowing, must go.

 

[blue-Ocean]

Yes I understand your mixture of what to do. She has been there for you for so long helping you through things, I too had to have my 13 year old dog put to sleep and for days I pondered on what to do, I felt like keeping her close but she gave me a glance one day right into me that I felt she wanted to be released from her own little trauma. I of course granted her little wish and as she slipped away she looked up at me and gave a little sigh, I cried as I felt lost and still do but by holding on she was lost in her pain and sickness. So I had to put her first myself second, she is so missed but I felt her relief as she slipped away this then made me feel immense relief on her behalf sounds odd but I would have her here with me had she not been suffering. I continue to suffer without my darling but at least she is not suffering...she is so missed.

 

[xena21]

While I have multiple pets, when my oldest cat died, it blew me over, and I utilized the above resources. He was the one with me through all the horrible stuff, and like your heroine dog, kept me going.

Thanks. I know you can relate, and I feel bad that you had to go through that too. It's such a tough thing. I have had wonderful cats in the past as well. I haven't used those sources before, but maybe I will try that. I appreciate the information. It sounds very helpful.

My dog seems to be hanging in there right now. I have cut her medication back, which hasn't done a whole lot, but she is still eating and going outside. Despite her difficulties in walking and other things, she seems to want to be here a bit longer...as far as I can tell. I just don't want her to suffer. That's my big fear.

 

[TeddydaBear62]

I have had dogs all my life. I never put one to sleep.

I believe there are circumstances hat call for it.

However......my personal belief is that God gave life to this creature. I am not God, therefore I haven't the right to take that life away. So, I have always made my dogs as comfortable as possible when their lives were near end. I feel better for it.

I had a greyhound which I rescued. At about 10 years old......she either slipped, or fell, I am not sure. She didn't break her leg, but something happened to the tendons that could not mend with just a cast. The vet recommended removing the entire leg at the hip. He said it was $600 and she would not be emotionally attached to it and adapt. But I knew the soul of my greyhound better than he did.

She loved to run! Since the ancient kings of egypt bred the dogs to hunt gazelle, greyhounds wrre bred to run....and they love it! So I took her to a specialty clinic across the next state and had a titanium brace put in her to stabilize her leg. It cost over $5000 by the time it was all done. But in a year....she was running! In another year and a half....pancreatic cancer took my dear girl.

But I consider it money well spent for my dog's happyness. You need only decide.....what would make your dog happier. Being without you.....or suffering and being with you still.

 

[TeddydaBear62]

I am sorry! I also wanted to say....... I will pray for your dog's comfort and well being. And no matter what happens I pray you will be at peace.

 

[xena21]

Thanks. I am trying to make a good decision about my dog, Abby. She can't really hold herself up anymore. She falls all time and can't hold herself up to go the bathroom so is going all over herself. I clean her off every day. I just don't want to make that decision, you know? I called the vet today to ask what to do for the next step. She is still eating ok. It's just her legs aren't working. I can't imagine that having your legs not work is a good way to live. I want the vet to tell me what to do.

The last time I talked to the vet she said that eating is a good thing. She gave me instructions about medications for her legs but they haven't helped. She told me to wait a few weeks which I have, and she has gotten worse. I am so sad about her, but I don't want her to be suffering. It's a miserable thing. I'm waiting to hear back. Thanks for all the support!

 

[TeddydaBear62]

I had a border collie "Angel". She was nearly 17 years old. She could barely stand as she had places in her spine that fused together. She had lots of accidents. I got her doggie diapers at the pet store. They were cloth of some kind. I also used a super absorbant maxi pad.....lol

You can even have a groomer trim all the hair for easier clean up. It really made everyone happy. I often wonder if that dog could have talked. She would have asked for them years ago....to avoid going out alltogether....lol

 

[xena21]

I had a border collie "Angel". She was nearly 17 years old.
She could barely stand as she had places in her spine that fused together.
She had lots of accidents. I got her doggie diapers at the pet store.

Thanks. I don't really know what's best at this point. I just don't want her to be in pain. That's my biggest concern. I know they have depends for dogs, but if she is going to be hurting, than I don't want her to go through that now. I'm not saying your dog was in pain at all. I honestly don't want to make the call. I want my vet to tell me what is the best course of action. I figure she has many years of experience at this stage, and she should be able to give me some good advice, right?

I love my dog so much. She is a part of my life. I got her in the Marines, in a time when I needed so much support. She has helped me get through so much in my life. I don't want her to hurt any more than necessary in her wonderful life. I know she will hurt for me. She will put on a brave appearance and keep going, but I don't want to be selfish and make her go any more than she should go for my own benefit.

 

[TeddydaBear62]

I have never met a vet yet that didn't opt for putting an animal down. And despite what you think/hear? Not all go to sleep peacefully.

 

[The Albatross]

I only had one (of many) that did not go peacefully and that was because she was sarcoma and I waited too long and she was so dehydrated they couldn't hit a vein, it kept collapsing. I felt like such a bad owner for hanging on so long that I inadvertently hurt her.

 

[xena21]

I felt like such a bad owner for hanging on so long that I inadvertently hurt her

Thank you. My real responsibility is to my dog, not to me. If she is in pain I believe the vet knows the best way to deal with it. I have watched her deteriorate before my eyes and its so hard. I understand why you waited. I don't want to give up my baby. I keep thinking that she has more time in her. Then I watch her fall repeatedly and need help to eat. I watch her only feel comfortable when she sleeps, and the sadness I feel for her is so intense because she can't tell me how badly she feels.

It's not like a human where euthanasia is not an option. Animals deserve the right to be free from pain as far as I'm concerned. They are innocent creatures who can't speak for themselves.

I talked to my vet today and she believes its the right time to have her go. This is after repeated medication trials and changing things to make her comfortable. Nothing is working. Depends on dogs doesn't sound like an option at this point...at least not a good one, according to everyone I've talked to. Their quality of life certainly isn't good. They are not babies to be diapered. They are animals to be free and comfortable as much as they can be. I will follow what the vet tells me. She has told me that I should bring her in when I feel its right, but that it's time to have her go.

Thanks for all your concern.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

xena, my heart goes out to you right now especially. It is so hard to take them to the vet to put them down. I hope you get to cry and to sob your heart out over your precious treasure being gone.

I lost my husband to death a year ago, and he just quit eating so I had him brought home and had hospice care twenty four seven. They gave him drugs to ease his pain and he died before I was ready to let him go.

So I understand the depths of your feelings. I think you are being very wise with your dog. It hurts.

I had my dog cremated and I have her ashes with me now. I still miss her so much because she was everything to me.

Mabe you could take a friend along with you when you decide it is her time to let go.