Pet Lovers With Ptsd...

[xena21]

I still miss her so much because she was everything to me.

Thanks gizmo. I'm so sorry about both your husband and your pet. What a horrible thing you have been through!

I do plan on bringing my Mom. She knows my dog very well. She was always taking care of her when I was away on work, so she has a lot of compassion for her. I just have a hard time setting a day to do it. It's like scheduling one of the the worst things in your life, yet you are in control of that schedule. It seems cruel, yet also what is supposed to happen. I think the vet expects me to bring her in this week, and I also believe that will be the case. I just need to get myself in order.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Xena it is going to be so hard for you although I am so glad you are taking your mom. I sobbed my heart out when I had Mysty put down. She was my faithful sidekick and the perfect dog for me. But she was suffering so much. It was a very peaceful and quick death. My vet is so good to me and to my animals.

My daughter wants to give me one of her Sphinx kittens I get to pick. I am so afraid to bond with another animal.

You are in my prayers if that is ok. I hope you do something special with your mom afterwards. Hugs.

 

[Britt.f7]

@xena21 I just read about someone who gave their dog a last meal. Something that the dog wouldn't normally get. Her choice was an ice cream cone. Then I read of others, in the comments, who did the same thing. Maybe this is something you could do with your dog since she still has her appetite.

It is not easy. Especially with something you loved. Someone you loved. I'm glad you will have your mom with you. It makes a difference. It truly does. My heart is with you.

 

[xena21]

Maybe this is something you could do with your dog since she still has her appetite.

Thats great that you wrote that. I just gave her an ice cream. She loved it! I gave her a vanilla cone and she ate it so quickly. I loved watching her. It's amazing some things that can make a difference.

 

[xena21]

I just wanted to end by saying thank you to everyone. I had to take my dog the other day to the Vet. I did give her a big ice cream cone before I brought her there. I also gave her many hamburgers and lots of treats during the week.

She wasn't able to stand by herself or go outside to go the bathroom anymore. It was horrible to see her deteriorate so quickly. I just couldn't watch her suffer anymore. I was suffering along with her, but I wanted to keep her going too. I thought I could just carry her outside to go the bathroom and bring her food wherever she lay.

My therapist told me that it wasn't a good way to live. She explained that there was love in letting pets go. I just feel so empty now. All I want to do is hurt myself. She was the only one I told my secrets to, you know? I live alone and she was my companion. I don't talk to people on the outside...only online. She bore the brunt of my PTSD explanations and rants along the years. She was my ears and my therapy for so long. I vented to her and had some comfort that there was someone listening. I am so alone now. I have always felt alone in some way, but now I am ultimately ALONE. I don't trust any people. I am by myself and thats the way I guess things will stay.

 

[The Albatross]

Xena, once a heart opens to allow a companion, it will open again after appropriate grieving. The wonderful thing about having animal companions in our lives is there is always one in need, who is ready to give and receive love. Don't want to dissuade you from grief however, the idea of hurting yourself or that you are by yourself and that's the way things will stay is something I would pause, when able and put under scrutiny.

I have had animal companions all my life, and have lost many. Another comes whether the need is mine or the animals. I have a household of 10 feral, stray, abandoned rescues right now.[DOUBLEPOST=1405735667,1405735589][/DOUBLEPOST]Doubled back... you put the love of your companion animal above your own needs. That is some weapons grade love gal. Hold on to that thought?

 

[Britt.f7]

Oh Xena, I am so sorry for you. I know how painful that can be. You did the right thing and you made her happier the week before. I'm sure she enjoyed all those treats. She is still in your heart and that matters. Someday you may be open to having another dog. They won't take her place, but they will help ease your pain. I am sorry for your loss.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

((((((((((((((((((xena))))))))))))))))))))

I am feeling so much compassion for you right now. Go ahead and grieve your heart out. In time I believe you will find another companion. But for right now my heart goes out to you.

I believe you did the best you could and you could not do any more for your beloved companion.

I can relate to being all alone.

When I put my faithful sidekick down, I used to see her out of the corner of my eyes for a while. I still miss her so much.

I believe when the time is right one companion will choose you and you will not be alone anymore.

I am so sorry for your great loss. Hugs.

 

[xena21]

I'm sure she enjoyed all those treats.

Thanks. She was so cute eating that cone. She loved ice cream so much. I don't know how she didn't get an ice cream headache.

When I put my faithful sidekick down, I used to see her out of the corner of my eyes for a while.

Yes, I see her lying everywhere in my apartment. It makes me sad, but I want o remember her...then I don't want to think about it at all. Its like I'm fighting the thoughts. I don't want to remember because then the sadness is so intense.

I feel so alone. So empty. I got her when I was in the Marines, 15 years ago. I needed a companion to get my stress level under control and have someone to talk to. She was so perfect. She listened and didn't judge. I loved hiking, and she hiked with me. She never complained, though she wasn't the most energetic dog around. She just went where I went, you know?

She traveled around the country with me when I changed jobs and always remained vigilant to my needs. She still was a lazy dog, but knew that. I loved watching her lounge around the yard and hang out in the shade. I knew she was there for me when I needed to vent, and that was so often. I lived alone and never had a relationship with a person. She was my relationship (whether that is good or bad). I trusted her. She listened and I was able to tell her things that I NEVER told anyone...not even therapists.

Now I am left with a hole that can't be filled with a therapist or person to just explain anything. I've never talked to a person about my problems. I have only talked to her. I would go home from the therapists office and vent about what I should have said...haha. I guess I'm far behind in that aspect. I don't want to explain anything. I just feel empty now.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I empathize with you hurting so much in your life and the void you are left with. You will probably always miss her as fifteen years is a very long time to be with a beloved companion. I am so sad for you right now. Big hugs.

 

[cattsrangels2]

I had a kitten who was my joy. He made me smile and laugh for the first time in a long time. He passed away at 1 year old in January. I have been devastated. I have two others to care for but we had a different bond. I know no other pet can replace the ones that die but out there is a special one that needs you and who you need as well. This is my angel Cocoa.

 

[cattsrangels2]

I failed to mention that I have a 14 year old cat. I just do my best to pamper her. Brush and comb her. Pet her often. Cuddle with her. I also have my other cat to care for. While I've dreaded losing Mandie I have to take care of Holly's needs as well. It won't be easy for her to lose Mandie either.