Supporter Help! I Think His Ptsd Is Contagious.

[anthony]

I'm going to disagree with many of the above comments about him being a bad person or such by holding a razor blade to you. PTSD isn't rational, and anyone who thinks a person with PTSD can control all their actions during uncontrolled PTSD stages, then you're in denial. I know veterans who have done way worse, and shit... if you went and asked my ex's about things I've done, such as punching in my sleep, strangling them, let alone other episodes I've had awake... you would then have to toss me into that same basket.

It was a time in my life that PTSD controlled me, not me control it. Anger reigned supreme and I did some evil and wicked shit. I'm not a bad person, I simply had a really bad time in my life, which I now know how to control better.

@not again, you are the best judge of who your BF really is. One episode above does not make him good, bad, or otherwise. Mental illness is a bitch at times... and things aren't so black and white.

 

[nursenurse]

Your boyfriend was drunk ( you said you threw him out when he sobered up) has had lots of therapy, and I still can't get past him holding you hostage overnight with a razor to your throat. In these forums I have always seen it advocated that PTSD is no excuse for bad behaviour. I understand the impulsivity, and the fact that this may be an isolated incident. I also understand that your boyfriend may not be an inherently bad person. He has worked on himself. However, the fact that he essentially held you against your will with a weapon, and that it could have ended badly, is an indication to me that he needs to work more on himself, before he hurts you, intentionally or not. You need to pause and consider what you want for yourself out of life period. If he has had lots of therapy, this kind of reaction when he is on that roller coaster may not change. He needs to know that your safety is paramount, and I think that is a reasonable boundary that no one should be allowed to cross.

I think some counselling for yourself would be in order as well.

All I can tell you about name calling, is that it wears thin after a few years. Even if you resolve to yourself not to take it personally, it can scar you when you aren't looking. I hope you have told him how you feel, communication regardless of any decisions you make is key. Good luck. I hope he accesses help again.

 

[anthony]

PTSD is no excuse

I agree that it's not an excuse... and I also advocate it, but it is a mitigating circumstance and must be factored.

If someone does the same thing over and over, doesn't really do much to help themselves... them I would suggest walking away. If someone is trying to get help, understanding and fix the issue, has a bad episode (as scary as that could be)... I think some room needs to be provided for acceptance of the illness and that getting drunk was the stupid mistake.

Love can be a curse, that is for sure! :ninja:

 

[nursenurse]

I normally would agree with you @anthony, but not when there are weapons involved. I am not saying she should split up, well, actually, I am, however, that is the OPs decision. But when it comes to violence, or the threat thereof, once is enough. I think she needs to be very clear with herself, and with him. The next time, she might not be lucky.

The beauty of differing opinions is that it gives you food for thought ;)

 

[anthony]

I love opinion diversity... I think it rocks.

 

[not again]

He committed suicide on October 2, 2014. He drove my blazer head on into a semi truck. He started drinking more. It got really bad. We finally talked about it. He stopped drinking for 2 days. I got to spend those 2 days with the man i loved. I don't feel like retelling the story of that night.

 

[nursenurse]

I am so sorry. I hope and pray that you have sought out some professional support. It is so easy to play the "What If?" And "If Only" games in your head. Remember that none of this is your fault, and I hope with time you will find peace.

 

[not again]

I saw a counselor once. I think i will start going to suicide support group. I am plagued with what ifs. Its 2 hours away to the nearest group. I'm thinking it might be worth the trip.

 

[joeylittle]

I'm so sorry for the pain you are in. And yes, the group will absolutely 100% be worth it. And you are always still welcome here, too.

 

[WildMermaid]

Good luck to you on your journey. The support group is probably worth its weight in gold. PTSD has resounding and lasting effects that often form ripples around our actions and lives. I'm so very sorry for your pain and your loss. Please take care of yourself.

 

[Kintsugi]

I am so sorry to hear this. I feel for you.

I say, if there's a resource available, try it. And I second @joeylittle; there is support here for you as well.

 

[shimmerz]

I simply can't imagine how this must feel. I am so very sorry. For each of you.