Christmas Survival Tips?

[Cool Cat]

Joking aside, does anyone have any?
I mean I can't spend the next two weeks in my room. It will cause much more stress if I don't engage with the season than if I do.

What do I find hard about Christmas?
(a) No Therapy for weeks
(b) Lots of interaction with family and extended family; many of whom can hurt/stress me without knowing, many of whom remind me of my past self, all of whom have no idea that year I've had.
(c) No routine
(d) The implicit rule that you must be happy at Christmas
(e) Being in my home town which can remind me of my childhood, again
(f) Pretending I'm okay

I would actually like to enjoy Christmas but my mental health gets in the way. Does anyone have Christmas survival tips?

 

[Friday]

When I'm being my own worst enemy... I often find that 'simply' ;) by doing the opposite of what I want to do I can carry the day. Not to the point of breaking down. I don't push myself. I'm not spiking, here. I'm being contrary.

I want to listen to sad music... I pour on some hard fast beats.
I want to stay inside... I take a shower, get dressed, and walk out the door.
I want to avoid people... I seek them out.
I want to feel sorry for myself... I laugh at myself.
I want to drink... I stay sober. (I do drink, btw.)
I want to get laid... I stay celibate. (Ditto)
I want to die... I live.

There are times when doing what I want helps me. And times when it doesn't.

 

[scout86]

My first, and most valuable survival tip is "rules were made to be broken".

a)The "no therapy" part can be rough. Look at it as "practice" for the day when you don't need therapy so regularly? This year, I've tried something new. "Talking to people". Here, anyway. And, to my amazement, it's helping. A lot! (Who knew?)

b) I really limit who I interact with. I figure, stress cup in mind, if I HAVE to deal with difficult people, I DON'T have to do it NOW. And don't.

c) Can't help with this one. I enjoy "No routine", Can you at least have small things that stay "routine"?
d) See Rule #1. (You'll probably find you have lots of company, many of whom are glad to find they aren't alone.)
e) Don't go there? I haven't been to my home town in YEARS. But, I'm avoiding biological family for the holidays too. You might want to consider what all you're doing here and the reasons you're doing it. You ought to be able to do the holidays however YOU want to,
f) And the reason you do that is......?

What would have to happen so that you COULD enjoy Christmas? I don't mean what would have to change with YOU, what has to change about Christmas?

 

[Cool Cat]

Thanks guys some really good tips @FridayJones and @scout86.

What would have to happen so that you COULD enjoy Christmas? I don't mean what would have to change with YOU, what has to change about Christmas?

@scout86 I genuinely think that if I had therapy during Christmas I would enjoy the holidays. You are right in what you say that talking to friends or people is good. At the minute I'm still a little too used to saving all my big emotions up for therapy where I feel safe to let them go. I don't feel safe letting them go anywhere else at the minute so perhaps I'm almost like emotionally constipated!! Regulating emotions is still something I haven't fully learned.



I am lucky in a way that for the two weeks I'm home they are two weeks where everyone tries to be in good humour. When I'm away from therapy for more than a week or two I start getting depressed/anxious again which is difficult. I suppose if I knew or learned to handle and regulate my emotions then I would enjoy Christmas. As you may have seen from previous posts I haven't self harmed in several weeks, which is good.

 

[catjudo]

Sorry I don't have any good tips to share. But to answer your question, what I find most difficult is D, F and B...in that order.

 

[Justmehere]

Volunteering helps me survive. If I can't find an organization to do drop in volunteer work for, I find things to do - like make cookies for the neighbors, hand out food gift cards to the homeless, etc.

I also do art. Paint, draw, anything. It's a way I can express and feel distracted too.

I limit being around people that I have to fake being happy with and I spend time connecting with people that I don't have to be that way with - like here. :)

 

[StellaBlue]

When I'm being my own worst enemy... I often find that 'simply' ;) by doing the opposite of what I want to do I can carry the day.

"Opposite to Emotion Action" :) - I'm working really hard on this skill!

I have a "cheat sheet" I've put together for the holidays...mostly focusing on self-care (eating right, not drinking, sleep, exercise...the basics) and mindfulness. I've also committed to keeping my own expectations fairly low - no blow-out, BEST HOLIDAY EVER - just some down time for myself and some relaxed activities with the kids. I think having a (relatively) sane and peaceful mom will create better holiday memories for them than me trying to pull together some perfect scenario that lives only on the big screen or in my imagination.

 

[Kintsugi]

You've received some great tips here.

As a smoker, I have a general recommendation for all non-smokers... take a ten minute walk outside at least every two hours. I worked in an office, and my supervisor so liked that smokers got out for 5-10 minutes every two hours, she told everyone to do so regardless of a tobacco habit. Smoking is not healthy, but this ritual can be.

 

[Nam]

I journal. I kept it with me. It was the one place I could fall apart and then keep it together everywhere else. This could be your therapy and routine. I would also have someone in your corner. Do you have anyone that would cover for you? Find a peaceful place. To you that can be many things. For me is a literally a quiet place. @Simply Simon had a great idea.

 

[risingsun]

Listen to your favorite music and eat your favorite foods. Music is the heartbeat of the soul and your favorite songs will sooth you. Food nourishes our spirits and your favorites will uplift you. You can do this. Engage in all of your favorites my friend. Best Wishes to You, Rising Sun.

 

[scout86]

Let me add that my T keeps telling me it's not necessary to pretend to be anything you aren't. Now, the same guy is also rather fond of saying, "You might want to consider finding a better way to think about that." But he encourages me to be more my real self more of the time. He says you don't have to lie. "None of your business" is an acceptable answer to some questions.

I think you're reasonably safe sharing your emotions here. And, maybe, this is a pretty good place to practice. We aren't people you HAVE to deal with otherwise, and we don't have to deal with you, if we don't want to. This is a pretty understanding group and there's a high probability that at some people here will get what you're experiencing, no matter what it is. Someday, you might want to be able to share your feelings with someone beyond your T. This might be as a good a time and place as any to practice. Besides, there are a bunch of people with no Christmas plans and at least some of them are worrying about what they're going to do to fill the time. They could spend at least some of it listening and talking to you.

I hope the holiday goes well for you and everyone else too!

 

[Nam]

How are you doing? Rooting for you. :)