What Makes You Feel Safe?

[sun seeker]

I put this under Therapy because it's where the question keeps arising, but it's really about the feeling of safety in your life in general.

My new therapist keeps asking what helps me feel safe so we can connect with that and build on it before attempting to focus on trauma release. I have trouble coming up with much because I never feel safe, though there are degrees therein, and can't really remember what it felt like because it's been so long. I have trouble finding that feeling anywhere in my body or remembering what it feels like. I have an imaginary world I can go to that helps somewhat, but past a certain level of panic it's hard to connect with that feeling.

It's probably different for everybody but I'm curious what has worked for you, if you've found anything that helps you connect with that feeling of being safe.

I've had a hard day and am still a bit spacey, hope this makes sense.

 

[Chava]

Hanging out in a very small interior room for hours.
My dog. Just being with my dog, laying my head on his back and noticing how easy and calm he breathes, having him lean against my leg when I sleep. He seems to know when I'm having a terrible time.
Being able to move my legs or push stuff.

Hard part is when nothing, not even this stuff feels safe. I just have to avoid falling into that level of arousal, though I don't know how to with pain. Need better drugs.

Good post!

 

[ghotiff]

I look for "safer" not "safe". I don't always feel safe in my safe place, but it's where I feel safest.

My safest place is a corner of my bedroom, with a soft mat on the floor which I've cornered off with furniture and my husband and kids are never allowed there. The fact that it's hard to access, tiny and uninteresting, helps them stay out of it.

Hope that helps.

 

[Freedomfighter]

The only time when I feel safe is when my security system is armed and I am within my own four walls, knowing that no one can enter.

 

[Nam]

Whenever I feel safe, there is more hard processing around the corner. It makes it real hard to put my guard down.

My safe place isn't a place, it's a way of being. Many things have to happen and at the right time for myself to feel completely safe. Not sure if this is a reasonable request. It's also a moving target. What feels safe today may not tomorrow.

For me, feeling safe is a goal, not a starting point.

 

[Seagreen]

Being in my car use to make me feel safe until I had an accident last year. But I still feel safer on the road than at home. For me being at home has never felt safe, im always looking for an escape route.

Movies can be helpful. A good comedy can sometimes shift my mood. Its obviously best to avoid anything heavy.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Dissociation!

 

[Ellabella44]

daily - it is being in bed, with the curtains closed and room dark, holding my stuffed kitty and with a puppy blanket from my daughter. sometimes I need to hear ocean waves similar to my beach grounding spot and smell a beach scented candle as well. Takes a while if I am seriously anxious or depressed though, and then I have trouble leaving the room.

 

[shimmerz]

My:
1. blanket (soft and cuddly)
2. teddy
3. car

 

[Hope4Now]

The only time I feel safe-ish (I think...not really sure what safe feels like) is when a trusted person has an arm or arms around me. I know it's odd because so many people find this kind of touch very unsafe. Even when I have an arm around me though, it depends on the situation. The touch just brings the fear and vigilance down a few notches.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I never truely feel safe, there are just 'safer' stages. I don't really know what makes me feel safe.

I would feel better in a cold room, with my sword in reach and blanket fort, with someone I trust with me.

I normally can't take temperatures higher than 15°C well, and holding my sword or at least having it by me makes me feel safe, also spaces where noone can get to me, where I'm safe from dangers of outside, and it's better if someone I trust, like HER. I really have a need for a well protected hiding spot.

 

[Momofthree]

My safe place is in a tight hug of someone who I know loves me, or when I hug tight my 'special pillow' because no one is around to hug (or who is around, namely my children, aren't in the mood to have they eyeballs squeezed out LOL) the tight fit causes sensory deprivation and makes me feel calm. If I can't handle touch for some reason then the shower is my next safe place, I have a small stand up shower so again the small space causes sensory deprivation and gives me a safe feeling.