What Makes You Feel Safe?

[sun seeker]

Thanks so much everyone, there are some ideas here I will try, though obviously some things are specific to the individual. I can see it's an issue for most of us, which is unsurprising given the territory of PTSD. I have some more questions that arose out of this one but I'm going to start another thread so it's more visible.

 

[VioletButterfly]

I've been thinking about this a lot lately because I feel so "un-safe." I've come to the conclusion that I only feel safe when I am in the light with God. That's it. I have to feel totally connected with God and held tightly in His arms. The rest of the hell of my existence doesn't matter if I am in this space with Him. It's hard to get there these days, so I am grateful for the moments when I can.

 

[Friday]

I was looking for another thread... Found this one :) loving the thoughts and themes, here!

A goal, not a starting point.
Safer. Not safe, but safer.
Things we can do for ourselves.

 

[mary1979]

I used to HATE this question in therapy!

Think it took about 4 years of searching to FIND a safe place I could identify in myself.

Normal places, bed (oh hell no) arms of a loved one (wtf even IS that) a 'special place' all for me that I've kept secret (are you kidding me? There isn't even a part of my ANATOMY that is secret)
The list went on and on, and I scratched every suggestion before it was even finished being said.

Then one day it suddenly dawned on me. MY OWN HEAD. In here I could be me, if I was prudent, no body could enter it, sour it or reach me.

Not exactly the best option for a 'cure' with hindsight, but it got me to the point that i was able to control SO many of my really obvious symptoms, by just realising that my mind, was the only thing I had total control over.
I got to choose what I thought, and I could choose to think things differently.

 

[Silent one]

I have no safe place. I have tried mindfulness and imagining a safe place. My brain is not strong enough to concentrate or focus.

 

[scout86]

I wonder why they ask this question? Might be important, since it's so popular. I finally told my T, "when I have a pretty good idea what's going to happen next and I'm pretty sure I can handle it. He hasn't asked since, so I'm going with that.

 

[HappyJock]

Dissociation. I know it's not a good thing, but sometimes trauma makes your brain hurt so much, dissociation scratches that part of your brain that doesn't allow good to exist without condition. You just are -- in my experience, I'm zoned out so there is no emotion while in that state -- it's relaxing, even though it could be very terrifying when you realize you're doing it or after you've snapped out of it. Other than that? I don't know what safe feels like.

 

[EveHarrington]

Sort of miffed that I have a safe place in my mind. Why? I really do think I deserve a safe place on this earth!

Real safe places vary. My bed------never had sex in my bed (always elsewhere) and now that I think of it I'm going to keep it that way. I cannot afford for my bed to not be safe. Other places have varying degrees of safety.

 

[Ava Jarvis]

I went through the trouble of spending a lot of money staking out my own house in a very gentrified small town on an island. It's not Vashon (which you can only ferry on and off of) but it's fairly ok. I wish I put in a security system but oh well.

I generally feel safe in my house.

I feel safe when I'm with my friends in San Francisco.

I feel safe when I'm in the main convention hotel for BGG.CON where every single room is occupied by a BGG member/gamer and security and moderators are nearby.

Airplanes are safe.

My car is generally safe.

Yeah, for me, physical safety is key. Spiritual safety is nice too (I love it when I can really connect with Amaterasu-omikami) but physical safety takes priority.

Sometimes the Internet is unsafe. I stick to a few safe sites and keep my follow list on tumblr very very filtered. Tumblr is a place I protect on the Internet. But even it can fail me. Facebook is never safe.

I can never sleep without a semi-thick blanket on me (at least). The key lights must always be on in the house. I've learned to sleep through most light.

Although sometimes my PTSD gets really really really really bad. I retreat to my bedroom and close the door and shove things against it. I retreat to my bed and stay there. My world becomes the bed. I chat with my friends if they're online. They make me feel even safer. In this mode, I do not ever feel entirely safe; just more safe.

I've generally gotten way better with feeling safe. So it can get better. Sometimes I don't even bother to check for escape routes whenever I go out. It's amazing.

 

[Kelsey]

I have never posted in one of these things and I have never looked up anything related to my struggles or the way I feel and stuff so this is all very very new and surprising to me. I know I'm not really answering the question and I really hope that this doesn't bother anyone however I just have to say WOW! Like I am at a loss for words and honestly have goosebumps covering my entire body. Reading through all of these posts that you all have shared is literally like reading my own thoughts and feelings to a T. I had no idea other people felt the way I feel or think the way I think. I was completely and totally convinced that I was the only one who felt so different like there was just something wrong with me and no one would under stand. Any time I would try to tell my boyfriend or parents they would basically tell me how irrational and silly I was, that I was safe and had no reason to feel otherwise but regardless of it being irrational or not it was how I felt and that should have been all that matters. I absolutely never feel safe I'm terrified of everything and everyone and the only thing that makes me feel remotely safer is being in a very small closed in area preferably with a lock where it is quiet and I have my teddy bear with me and yes I am 24 years old and have a teddy bear, people think it's just something I just like or want attention for but what they neglect to realize is how unhealthy my need for that bear is. I don't just WANT love bear with me at night or during tough or scary situations I absolutely NEED him. If I don't have him I literally go into full panic mode, stop breathing, hyperventilate, start shaking, the whole nine yards all over a teddy bear! Talk about embarrassing. Anyways I know this was way longer than anyone will actually read but I'm writing it for me because I'm finally ready to face what's wrong with me and get help and this is my first step in doing just that. So for all of you who have posted on this. Thank you, thank you so much for feeling my feelings and sharing them to open my eyes and see it's not just me I'm not alone.

 

[I need to heal]

I put this under Therapy because it's where the question keeps arising, but it's really about the fee...

I hoped after moving away that my workplace would be safe - I work in a hospital. But these people brought in an employee that was just like my abuser & it was done intentionally. It brought so much trauma up, paranoia/trust became a massive issue, I withdrew again - each day felt like walking into a warzone - I tried to overcome & stay strong - I remember a nurse saying: 'you're safe here' but she lied! They hurt me. I then became bullied - was deceived by a boss & a car accident has now seen me unable to walk back through those medical doors after a diagnosis of PTSD.
The only safety is staying indoors & keeping to myself

 

[Deleted member 40384]

I like the idea of "safer" instead of safe - I don't feel entirely safe anywhere. I think of the meditative/mindful state as safest, just noticing what's going on internally and externally without judging it. For places, I feel relatively safe when I'm somewhere in nature by myself, like at the top of a mountain or hill, or grassy meadow. But that's only after I've exerted myself for a while and the endorphins are up. I also feel relatively safe when my cat is sitting on me and purring.