Should I Tell New Therapist I Am "dissociating"?

[katiekat]

I just switched therapists-this is my third one in 2 years. I was with my first one for a year, he is the one who diagnosed me with PTSD, and during a session where I believe he came to the diagnosis, I believe I dissociated, but I am not sure if that is the correct terminology for what happened. I didn't know what was going on at the time and so I explained to him what happened. I mostly had visual distortions: the pattern on his rug started vibrating and moving, and the room seemed to get farther and farther away, sort of like tunnel vision. This happened to me several times during subsequent therapy sessions with him, and he was aware of it and I felt ok telling him if it was happening. With the last therapist I had (just dropped her after seeing her for 3 months), I experienced this once or twice in her office, and I told her it was happening but I felt uncomfortable telling her. She concluded it was as a panic attack.

Now I have a new therapist who is a psychoanalyst. I have met with her twice so far, this last time I started having the visual distortions and I didn't tell her, I just got quiet and didn't make eye contact with her while it was happening. I have another session with her today and I am wondering if I should tell her this happens. It makes me feel uncomfortable to explain it, but I also feel uncomfortable having it happen and her not knowing why I’m just staring off into space.

I am just looking for some feedback on whether or not its something I should mention and if anyone else has been through this kind of thing. Thank you!

 

[Deleted member 28986]

I think you should mention it.

You can't get help for a symptom if you don't tell your doctor. Your symptom is nothing to be ashamed of. It is your very human reaction to trauma, and it is a relic of how you coped.

—

I dissociate on a daily basis, and my current therapist (who diagnosed me) was good at picking it up when prior therapists had missed it. My dissociations don't usually come with noticeable visual distortions, although everything does feel different, and I can relate to the tunnel vision you mentioned.

I recently had a symptom of which I was very, very embarrassed (an auditory flashback). Agonizingly, I had to convince myself to tell my therapist, but I'm glad I did. He didn't judge me, he didn't think I was faking, and the fear of the symptom went away when I saw he didn't react negatively.

I think you'll feel a lot better if you choose to tell her. :)

 

[desiderata310]

*shrug*
I don't think I've ever had to tell my therapist that this is what was happening. He kind of figured it out on his own. I've TOLD him that I've dissocated outside of therapy before.

That said, I think you should describe what's happening to you so that s/he knows. I'm guessing that this happens when you are discussing something that causes anxiety?

 

[nic1633]

Out of curiosity, does this only happen during therapy sessions?

I understand these things can be difficult to express, but if you can't trust your therapist, who can you trust? Her response to this matter may tell you whether or not she's the right fit for you. :)

 

[katiekat]

This tends to only happen in therapy, and usually only when my trauma is talked about in a general sense. I don't get the racing heart panic attacks when this happens-its more of a calm spaced-out reaction with visual distortions and I feel sort of floaty.

 

[WhisperingUnicorn]

I think you are best sticking to the FACTS of what you are seeing/hearing, etc. Honesty here is the best way to get a clearer understanding of what is happening, and why, etc. But as for calling it "dissociating" - I think this is more a "diagnostic" term that would appropriate to leave to the therapist to discern. Restated, describe your actual experience. Avoid terms you think apply - it seems that could cause the Therapist to jump to conclusions that might not exactly fit without further info, etc.

I am NO expert - this is just an opinion based on observation in other things in my life. :)

~S2B

 

[desiderata310]

Good point. I did not come out and tell my therapist that I was dissociating until he had put a name to what happened in therapy. Once he did that I was able to compare and say this happened again, outside of therapy and since I knew what it was, used the term correctly.

 

[katiekat]

@desiderata310 good suggestion. I'm not comfortable putting a label on my experience. I was more asking if I should explain what I'm experiencing to the therapist and if it matters.

 

[Jane.l]

Yes do explain what you are experiencing, its important for you to understand what's happening and why as well as your T and hopefully your T will be able to help you with this.

 

[Javagoat]

Before I had the courage to get into therapy, I had no idea how much of the everyday life was effected by some level of dissociation. I knew that I "checked out" because my wife complained about it. I did it so often and had done for so many years that it was normal experience me. When I finally went into therapy, I was lucky to get a therapist who was very perceptive and had experience dealing with dissociation. Of course, it was probably hard to miss because I would totally blank on answers to questions before we even got to my past. However, I did have to really convince myself to risk being honest and tell her that I didn't know the answer. I would stare and drift away. I had always lied and tried to cover it with some kind of crap. I couldn't hide it from her. She actually called me on it. Now after 5yrs of therapy working with the dissociation extensively among numerous other trauma symptoms, I able to be present and dissociate a lot less. The risk was worth it. If this therapist doesn't get it or fails to recognize it, find someone else to has more experience with trauma and dissociation.

 

[FindingMyself88]

I think you should so she will know what to look for. My T became very good at noticing when I start to dissociate. But it came with time, building trust, and me being honest with her.

 

[Ocean5]

I mostly had visual distortions: the pattern on his rug started vibrating and moving, and the room seemed to get farther and farther away, sort of like tunnel vision.

First meeting can relate to going farther farther away - blurry - then I don't remember - then I looked-up at her after telling her about some childhood events - was like coming out of deep fog/sleep. I didn't understand where I was, or even why I was in her office, yet knew I "needed" to be in her office. I composed myself quickly so I have to assume this happen before to me..(trying to figure out where you are and composing yourself)

That first meeting I brought up dissociation (never intended to bring up until that morning...things had just gotten so bad...) - But I knew she had a history of treating it in her past.. She told me her experience with it, but for some reason my mind thought she didn't think it was real condition (I guess my mind was trying to protect me...or something.)

Next day things didn't make sense.. I emailed her wanting to know her "professional opinion" on dissociation before going back. Glad I did. Otherwise I'm not sure I would have gone back...and I haven't felt judged since. If you feel safe I say "share"