Made The Move

[Casey_03]

So for those of you who offered me advice earlier on my decision to move to Ukraine, I am here now. Due to move to Donetsk next week, where I will be renting out an apartment all by myself in rebel-held territory. It comes at a bad time, as the U.S. just delivered a bunch of humvees to the Ukrainian military, and the rebels aren't so happy about that. I will have to do my best to pretend I'm not an American. I have already been told that separatist fighters live in my building and will "pay me visits" and likely interrogate me. I am considering what sort of tools I should take with me for self defense - perhaps a taser or pepper spray? I am not worried about being shot, but I will be the only young foreign female living alone in this territory. Most other female reporters just stay at hotels, where it's safer and there are plenty of other journalists around to stick with.

 

[Friday]

And why aren't you staying in a hotel?

 

[holdenmonty]

I'm with Friday on this one. For me the worst case senario jumps into my mind. I wouldn't worry about getting shot. I would however worry about them "paying you visits" especially with you being the only young foreign female living alone. Sounds like the perfect storm for further trauma to happen to you. I would stay with other foreign journalists. They might not be all that nice to you since you are a journalist and everybody is probably out for themselves in concerns of getting the story but at least there is strength in numbers.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I personally think you're failing to keep yourself safe. It's as if you don't care about healing or getting better. Not to sound snarky, but why should any of us spend time helping you when you refuse to do things to help yourself?

 

[Friday]

Oh... To answer your question about weapons... I always carry 2 lighters. The fluids heat up faster than body temp, so no matter how cold your hands, the fluid warms from body temp. Which warms your hands. Which warms the fluid. Which warms your hands. Can be sub zero, with bare hands, and keep them warm by having lighter in each. One lighter per hand. They also, if I'm worried about being frisked for weapons get overlooked as weapons by smokers the world over. They'll still usually take them, unless it's just a cursory search for firearms or blades... but even if you're getting searched after a fight they don't usually associate the fact that they are also what just gave your punches the wallop they just did. A lighter or roll of quarters doesn't turn your fist into brass knuckles, but the next best thing, for sure.

As for others? Nothin you aren't trained in and willing to use. Cause all you're doing is carrying something for your attackers to use on you. If you'll use pepper spray or a taser. For sure. But they don't affect everyone the same. Be hauling ass.

Best weapon is your head, best friends are your feet. The best fight is the one you avoid.

 

[Casey_03]

I'm not staying in a hotel because my employer will only pay for the apartment. I've reached out and made contacts in the local community, am taking all the precautions I can. @Solara What exactly do I refuse to do to help myself? Because I've taken a job I dreamt about as a child? You say that as if I am on some out of control self-destruction spree, when in fact I've been doing everything I can to help myself, including therapy, changing my work situation, avoiding relationships while i sort things out. You do sound snarky, and presumptious. So perhaps it would've made more sense to not "spend time helping" me with a snarky comment? @FridayJones I like the lighter idea. I think you are right that the best weapon is my head though; I think I have come up with a way to gain trust with the locals. Hopefully it works. Will be much better than having to constantly clutch a weapon. Anyway, I just really wanted to share my concerns.

 

[Friday]

@Solara... That's not fair. Lots of people the world over have dangerous jobs. Whether they're diplomats, journalists, police, aid workers, divers, etc. I did ask the question why she's deliberately moving into more dangerous territory... But there are at least half a dozen really valid reasons to. Also some stupid ones.

It might not even be more dangerous territory. Personally, I hate high value or easy opportunity targets like hotels. They feel safer, but it's often like painting a target on your back & spinning the wheel. Depends on the area & the conflict. Might be safest place is where people's kids live, and maybe she has an in in the local community. Or it might be one of a dozen other reasons. No idea. S'why I asked.

A person doesn't have to live a life wrapped in bubble wrap in order to work on themselves and their life. Will there be more trauma? Yeah. It's a war zone. By definition there is going to be more trauma. There's more trauma safe at home, too. Just by risking a relationship or getting on the road, or living in tornado alley. But we still have the right to seek out the lives we want. Whether that's true love & a family & a white picket fence, or as a war correspondent, or both. Dreams have value. PTSD doesn't mean we have to give up everything, just because a bloke might be an abusive prick we have to leave, or our job might kill us. We choose our risks. Life is risk. PTSD doesn't mean we have to stop our lives. It means we have to change how we manage our lives.

Some people... Can't go back to dangerous work. Shouldn't. The lives they want to lead are elsewhere. Or they symptoms don't allow them to do that kind of work, anymore so they have to create new lives. And it will take a helluva lot of work to build those lives. Same is true for people who want to go back. It's a helluva lot of work, in both directions. If she's building the life she wants to lead? Or chasing a dream, finding out if it is a life she wants to lead? More power to her

We've got active duty military, cops, first responders, parents, teachers... All kinds of people on this forum who either work dangerous jobs or whom other's lives depend on them. Should everyone just go be a hermit so that they're never at risk, and no one is at risk from them?

 

[Anarchy]

I'm with Friday on this.

A hotel full of journalists is certainly a target rich environment for any scum looking to perpetrate a false flag, and both sides are well practised at that (Gladio and the Moscow towerblock bombs would be representative examples from either side).

On the subject of scum, I'm guessing that you're bound to have read Anna Karennina, in at least one language?

Towards the end, Tolstoy's semi autobiographical character (can't remember his name) is on a train and strikes up conversations with the pan Slavists on their way to fight for Serbian secession - and they're the biggest bunch of scummy loosers.

Then when he gets to Moscow, Anna's feckless scum bag of a brother (who pulls all the shite Anna ever pulled, and more, but no one thinks any worse of him because he's male) is all fired up about raising funds for the pan slavists.

I think the locals, and your own wits will be your best defense. The locals will know who the scum are and how to avoid them.

Good luck, and please keep us up to date
@

 

[holdenmonty]

That is so true Friday I didn't even think of that. That is a very good point. They might be nicer to her because she is a female. Plus @Casey_03 more than likely not go there unless she was prepared. My mind automatically jumped to worse case senario... which helps sometimes but can also keep me from living life to the fullest. Be as safe as possible while your there.

 

[Anarchy]

A few days back, I was driving slowly, waiting for a colleague who is not a confident driver, to catch me up. There was a filter lane one side of me, for people to turn off, and an overtaking lane the other side of me - so I wasn't holding anyone up.

A white van tail-gated me for a mile, then, as he was in such a hurry and I'd so obviously delayed him, he pulled along side me for a good 10 to 15 seconds to express his frustration...

Don't know why I was reminded of that.

 

[scout86]

Congratulations on having made the move.

I remember a self defense instructor once mentioning, if you're going to try something, it either needs to work, or be something you can kind of back out of gracefully if you chicken out because making some mad is a really bad idea. But, I wonder if making friends where and when you can might not be the best defense. Everyone has a story and most people want the chance to tell it.

Anyway, here's hoping things go well and you come home in the end, safe, sound, and famous, with great stories to tell! Stay in touch as best you can!

 

[joeylittle]

I think I have come up with a way to gain trust with the locals. Hopefully it works. Will be much better than having to constantly clutch a weapon.

advance diplomacy, approaching 'open handed' and not acting afraid - these things usually help, generically. But every culture is different. Try and stick a little money away in case you need to pop over to the hotel. Can you get a roommate? I'm assuming that would have crossed your mind already.

Congratulations on making a decision and making the move. I hope things progress well for you out there. If I could apologize on behalf of the US government for crappy timing, I would. But I'd be here a really, really long time if I tried.